Act 5 — [Scene VII.][204]

Mason. Now that we are gathered in the Regent-house, It fits us talk about the king’s repair,[205] For he, trooped with all the western kings, That lie alongst the Dantzic seas by east, North by the clime of frosty Germany,5 The Almain monarch, and the Saxon duke, Castile and lovely Elinor with him, Have in their jests resolv’d for Oxford town. Burd. We must lay plots of stately tragedies Strange comic shows, such as proud Roscius10 Vaunted before the Roman emperors, To welcome all the western potentates. Clem. But more; the king by letters hath foretold That Frederick, the Almain emperor, Hath brought with him a German of esteem,15 Whose surname is Don Jaques Vandermast, Skilful in magic and those secret arts. Mason. Then must we all make suit unto the friar, To Friar Bacon, that he vouch this task, And undertake to countervail in skill20 The German; else there’s none in Oxford can Match and dispute with learned Vandermast. Burd. Bacon, if he will hold the German play, Will teach him what an English friar can do. The devil, I think, dare not dispute with him.25 Clem. Indeed, Mas doctor, he [dis]pleasur’d you, In that he brought your hostess with her spit From Henley, posting unto Brazen-nose. Burd. A vengeance on the friar for his pains! But leaving that, let’s hie to Bacon straight,30 To see if he will take this task in hand.

Cons. Nay, masters, if you were ne’er so good, you shall before the doctors to answer35 your misdemeanour. Burd. What’s the matter, fellow? Cons. Marry, sir, here’s a company of rufflers, that, drinking in the tavern, have made a great brawl, and almost killed the vintner.40 Miles. Salve, Doctor Burden! This lubberly lurden,[206] Ill-shap’d and ill-faced, Disdain’d and disgraced, What he tells unto vobis45 Mentitur de nobis. Burd. Who is the master and chief of this crew? Miles. Ecce asinum mundi Fugura rotundi,50 Neat, sheat,[207] and fine, As brisk as a cup of wine.

War. Why, and think’st thou, doctor, that he is not so? Dar’st thou detract and derogate from him, Being so lovely and so brave a youth?70 Erms. Whose face, shining with many a sug’red smile, Bewrays that he is bred of princely race. Miles. And yet, master doctor, To speak like a proctor, And tell unto you75 What is veriment and true; To cease of this quarrel, Look but on his apparel; Then mark but my talis. He is great Prince of Walis,80 The chief of our gregis, And filius regis: Then ’ware what is done, For he is Henry’s white[208] son.

Miles. And I, with scientia And great diligentia, Will conjure and charm, To keep you from harm;105 That utrum horum mavis, Your very great navis, Like Barclay’s[210] ship, From Oxford do skip With colleges and schools,110 Full-loaden with fools. Quid dicis ad hoc, Worshipful Domine Dawcock? Clem. Why, hare-brain’d courtiers, are you drunk or mad, To taunt us up with such scurrility?115 Deem you us men of base and light esteem, To bring us such a fop for Henry’s son?— Call out the beadles and convey them hence Straight to Bocardo:[211] let the roisters lie Close clapt in bolts, until their wits be tame.120

Miles. No, no: out with your blades, And hamper these jades;125 Have a flurt and a crash, Now play revel-dash, And teach these sacerdos That the Bocardos, Like peasants and elves,130 Are meet for themselves. Mason. To the prison with them, constable. War. Well, doctors, seeing I have sported me With laughing at these mad and merry wags, Know that Prince Edward is at Brazen-nose,135 And this, attired like the Prince of Wales, Is Ralph, King Henry’s only loved fool; I, Earl of Sussex, and this Ermsby, One of the privy-chamber to the king; Who, while the prince with Friar Bacon stays, Have revell’d it in Oxford as you see.141 Mason. My lord, pardon us, we knew not what you were: But courtiers may make greater scapes than these. Wilt please your honour dine with me to-day?