Act 2 — Scene II.[1860]

Mam. Do we succeed? Is our day come? And holds it? Face. The evening will set red upon you, sir; You have colour for it, crimson: the red ferment Has done his office; three hours hence prepare you To see projection. Mam. Pertinax, my Surly.5 Again I say to thee, aloud, Be rich. This day thou shalt have ingots; and to-morrow Give lords th’ affront.—Is it, my Zephyrus, right? Blushes the bolt’s-head?[1861] Face. Like a wench with child, sir, That were but now discover’d to her master.10 Mam. Excellent witty Lungs!—My only care is Where to get stuff enough now, to project on;[1862] This town will not half serve me. Face. No, sir? Buy The covering off o’ churches. Mam. That ’s true. Face. Yes. Let ’em stand bare, as do their auditory;[1863]15 Or cap ’em new with shingles. Mam. No, good thatch: Thatch will lie light upo’ the rafters, Lungs. Lungs, I will manumit thee from the furnace; I will restore thee thy complexion, Puff, Lost in the embers; and repair this brain,20 Hurt wi’ the fume o’ the metals. Face. I have blown, sir, Hard, for your worship; thrown by many a coal, When ’t was not beech; weigh’d those I put in, just To keep your heat still even. These blear’d eyes Have wak’d to read your several colours, sir,25 Of the pale citron, the green lion, the crow, The peacock’s tail, the plumed swan. Mam. And lastly, Thou hast descried the flower, the sanguis agni? Face. Yes, sir. Mam. Where ’s master? Face. At ’s prayers, sir, be; Good man, he ’s doing his devotions30 For the success. Mam. Lungs, I will set a period To all thy labours; thou shalt be the master Of my seraglio. Face. Good, sir. Mam. But do you hear? I ’ll geld you, Lungs. Face. Yes, sir. Mam. For I do mean To have a list of wives and concubines35 Equal with Solomon, who had the stone Alike with me; and I will make me a back With the elixir, that shall be as tough As Hercules, to encounter fifty a night.— Thou ’rt sure thou saw ’st it blood? Face. Both blood and spirit, sir.40 Mam. I will have all my beds blown up, not stuft; Down is too hard: and then, mine oval room Fill ’d with such pictures as Tiberius took From Elephantis, and dull Aretine But coldly imitated. Then, my glasses45 Cut in more subtle angles, to disperse And multiply the figures, as I walk Naked between my succubae.[1864] My mists I ’ll have of perfume, vapour’d ’bout the room, To lose our selves in; and my baths, like pits50 To fall into; from whence we will come forth, And roll us dry in gossamer and roses.— Is it arrived at ruby?——Where I spy A wealthy citizen, or [a] rich lawyer, Have a sublim’d pure wife, unto that fellow55 I ’ll send a thousand pound to be my cuckold. Face. And I shall carry it? Mam. No. I ’ll ha’ no bawds But fathers and mothers: they will do it best, Best of all others. And my flatterers Shall be the pure and gravest of divines,60 That I can get for money. My mere fools, Eloquent burgesses, and then my poets The same that writ so subtly of the fart, Whom I will entertain still for that subject. The few that would give out themselves to be65 Court and town-stallions, and, each-where, bely Ladies who are known most innocent, for them,— Those will I beg, to make me eunuchs of: And they shall fan me with ten estrich tails A-piece, made in a plume to gather wind.70 We will be brave, Puff, now we ha’ the med’cine. My meat shall all come in, in Indian shells, Dishes of agate set in gold, and studded With emeralds, sapphires, hyacinths, and rubies. The tongues of carps, dormice, and camels’ heels,75 Boil’d i’ the spirit of sol, and dissolv’d pearl (Apicius’ diet, ’gainst the epilepsy): And I will eat these broths with spoons of amber, Headed with diamond and carbuncle. My foot-boy shall eat pheasants, calver’d salmons,[1865]80 Knots,[1866] godwits, lampreys: I myself will have The beards of barbel[1867] serv’d, instead of salads; Oil’d mushrooms; and the swelling unctuous paps Of a fat pregnant sow, newly cut off, Drest with an exquisite and poignant sauce;85 For which, I ’ll say unto my cook, There ’s gold; Go forth, and be a knight. Face. Sir, I ’ll go look A little, how it heightens. [Exit.] Mam. Do.—My shirts I ’ll have of taffeta-sarsnet,[1868] soft and light As cobwebs; and for all my other raiment,90 It shall be such as might provoke the Persian, Were he to teach the world riot anew. My gloves of fishes and birds’ skins, perfum’d With gums of paradise, and Eastern air—— Sur. And do you think to have the stone with this?95 Mam. No, I do think t’ have all this with the stone. Sur. Why, I have heard he must be homo frugi,[1869] A pious, holy, and religious man, One free from mortal sin, a very virgin. Mam. That makes it, sir; he is so. But I buy it;100 My venture brings it me. He, honest wretch, A notable, superstitious, good soul, Has worn his knees bare, and his slippers bald, With prayer and fasting for it: and, sir, let him Do it alone, for me, still. Here he comes.105 Not a profane word afore him; ’t is poison.—