Act 4 — [Scene I.]

1 [Gent.] Join hearts, join hands, In wedlock’s bands, Never to part Till death cleave your heart. [To Hoard.] You shall forsake all other women;5 [To Courtesan.] You lords, knights, gentlemen, and yeomen, What my tongue slips Make up with your lips. Hoa. Give you joy, Mistress Hoard; let the kiss come about. [Knocking.] Who knocks? Convey my little pig-eater[3864] out. Luc. [within.] Hoard!11 Hoa. Upon my life, my adversary, gentlemen! Luc. [within.] Hoard, open the door, or we will force it ope: Give us the widow. Hoa. Gentlemen, keep ’em out. Lam. He comes upon his death that enters here.15 Luc. [within.] My friends, assist me! Hoa. He has assistants, gentlemen. Lam. Tut, nor him nor them we in this action fear. Luc. [within.] Shall I, in peace, speak one word with the widow? Cour. Husband, and gentlemen, hear me but a word. Hoa. Freely, sweet wife. Cour. Let him in peaceably;20 You know we ’re sure from any act of his. Hoa. Most true. [Cour.][3865] You may stand by and smile at his old weakness: Let me alone to answer him. Hoa. Content;25 ’T will be good mirth, i’ faith. How think you, gentlemen? Lam. Good gullery! Hoa. Upon calm conditions let him in. Luc. [within.] All spite and malice! Lam. Hear me, Master Lucre:30 So you will vow a peaceful entrance With those your friends, and only exercise Calm conference with the widow, without fury, The passage shall receive you.

Luc. I do vow it. Lam. Then enter and talk freely: here she stands.35 Luc. O, Master Hoard, your spite has watcht the hour! You’re excellent at vengeance, Master Hoard. Hoa. Ha, ha, ha! Luc. I am the fool you laugh at: You are wise, sir, and know the seasons well.— Come hither, widow: why is it thus?41 O, you have done me infinite disgrace, And your own credit no small injury! Suffer mine enemy so despitefully To bear you from my nephew? O, I had45 Rather half my substance had been forfeit And begg’d by some starv’d rascal! Cour. Why, what would you wish me do, sir? I must not overthrow my state for love: We have too many precedents for that;50 From thousands of our wealthy undone widows One may derive some wit. I do confess I lov’d your nephew, nay, I did affect him Against the mind and liking of my friends; Believ’d his promises; lay here in hope55 Of flatter’d living, and the boast of lands. Coming to touch his wealth and state indeed, It appears dross; I find him not the man; Imperfect, mean, scarce furnisht of his needs: In words, fair lordships; in performance, hovels: Can any woman love the thing that is not?61 Luc. Broke you for this? Cour. Was it not cause too much? Send to inquire his state: most part of it Lay two years mortgag’d in his uncle’s hands. Luc. Why, say it did, you might have known my mind:66 I could have soon restor’d it. Cour. Ay, had I but seen any such thing perform’d, Why, ’t would have tied my affection, and contain’d Me in my first desires. Do you think, i’ faith,70 That I could twine such a dry oak as this, Had promise in your nephew took effect? Luc. Why, and there ’s no time past; and rather than My adversary should thus thwart my hopes, I would——75 Cour. Tut, you ’ve been ever full of golden speech: If words were lands, your nephew would be rich. Luc. Widow, believe ’t, I vow by my best bliss, Before these gentlemen, I will give in The mortgage to my nephew instantly,80 Before I sleep or eat. 1 Gent. [friend to Lucre.] We ’ll pawn our credits, Widow, what he speaks shall be perform’d In fulness. Luc. Nay, more; I will estate him In farther blessings; he shall be my heir; I have no son;85 I ’ll bind myself to that condition. Cour. When I shall hear this done, I shall soon yield To reasonable terms. Luc. In the mean season, Will you protest, before these gentlemen,89 To keep yourself as you ’re now at this present? Cour. I do protest, before these gentlemen, I will be as clear then as I am now. Luc. I do believe you. Here’s your own honest servant, I ’ll take him along with me. Cour. Ay, with all my heart. Luc. He shall see all perform’d, and bring you word.95 Cour. That ’s all I wait for. Hoa. What, have you finisht, Master Lucre? Ha, ha, ha, ha! Luc. So laugh, Hoard, laugh at your poor enemy, do; The wind may turn, you may be laught at too; Yes, marry may you, sir.—Ha, ha, ha!100 Exeunt [Lucre, Gentlemen, and Host]. Hoa. Ha, ha, ha! if every man that swells in malice Could be reveng’d as happily as I, He would choose hate, and forswear amity.— What did he say, wife, prithee? Cour. Faith, spoke to ease his mind. Hoa. O, O, O!105 Cour. You know now, little to any purpose. Hoa. True, true, true! Cour. He would do mountains now. Hoa. Ay, ay, ay, ay. Lam. You ’ve struck him dead, Master Hoard. Hoa. And his nephew desperate. Hoa. I know ’t sirs, I. Never did man so crush his enemy.110 Exeunt.