Act 2 — [Scene II.][3839]
Reading edition
[Scene II.][3839]
Enter Hoard and Moneylove.
Mon. Faith, Master Hoard, I have bestowed many months in the suit of your niece, such was the dear love I ever bore to her virtues: but since she hath so extremely denied me, I am to lay out for my fortunes elsewhere.5
Hoa. Heaven forbid but you should, sir! I ever told you my niece stood otherwise affected.[3840]
Mon. I must confess you did, sir; yet, in regard of my great loss of time, and the zeal with which I sought your niece, shall I desire one10 favour of your worship?
Hoa. In regard of those two, ’t is hard but you shall, sir.
Mon. I shall rest grateful: ’t is not full three hours, sir, since the happy rumour of a rich15 country widow came to my hearing.
Hoa. How? a rich country widow?
Mon. Four hundred a-year landed.
Hoa. Yea?
Mon. Most firm, sir; and I have learnt her20 lodging. Here my suit begins, sir; if I might but entreat your worship to be a countenance for me, and speak a good word (for your words will pass). I nothing doubt but I might set fair for the widow; nor shall your labour, sir, end25 altogether in thanks; two hundred angels——
Hoa. So, so: what suitors has she?
Mon. There lies the comfort, sir; the report of her is yet but a whisper; and only solicited by young riotous Witgood, nephew to your mortal adversary.31
Hoa. Ha! art certain he ’s her suitor?
Mon. Most certain, sir; and his uncle very industrious to beguile the widow, and make up the match.35
Hoa. So: very good.
Mon. Now, sir, you know this young Witgood is a spendthrift, dissolute fellow.
Hoa. A very rascal.
Mon. A midnight surfeiter.40
Hoa. The spume of a brothel-house.
Mon. True, sir; which being well told in your worship’s phrase, may both heave him out of her mind, and drive a fair way for me to the widow’s affections.45
Hoa. Attend me about five.
Mon. With my best care, sir.
Exit.
Hoa. Fool, thou hast left thy treasure with a thief. To trust a widower with a suit in love! Happy revenge, I hug thee! I have not only50 the means laid before me, extremely to cross my adversary, and confound the last hopes of his nephew, but thereby to enrich my estate, augment my revenues, and build mine own fortunes greater: ha, ha!55 I ’ll mar your phrase, o’erturn your flatteries, Undo your windings, policies, and plots, Fall like a secret and despatchful plague On your secured comforts. Why, I am able To buy three of Lucre; thrice outbid him,60 Let my out-monies be reckoned and all.
Enter three [of Witgood’s] Creditors.
1 [Cred.] I am glad of this news.
2 [Cred.] So are we, by my faith.
3 [Cred.] Young Witgood will be a gallant again now.65
Hoa. Peace.
[Listening.]
1 Cred. I promise you, Master Cockpit, she ’s a mighty rich widow.
2 Cred. Why, have you ever heard of her?
1 Cred. Who? Widow Medler? She lies70 open to much rumour.
3 Cred. Four hundred a-year, they say, in very good land.
1 Cred. [Nay,] take ’t of my word, if you believe that, you believe the least.75
2 Cred. And to see how close he keeps it!
1 Cred. O, sir, there ’s policy in that, to prevent better suitors.
3 Cred. He owes me a hundred pound, and I protest I ne’er lookt for a penny.80
1 Cred. He little dreams of our coming; he ’ll wonder to see his creditors upon him.
Exeunt [Creditors].
Hoa. Good, his creditors: I ’ll follow. This makes for me: All know the widow’s wealth; and ’t is well known I can estate her fairly, ay, and will.85 In this one chance shines a twice happy fate; I both deject my foe and raise my state. Exit.
Music