Act 3 — [Scene I.][4277]

Lord. What hour is ’t? Hair. ’Bout three o’clock, my lord. Lord. ’T is time to rise. Hair. Your lordship went but late To bed last night. Lord. ’T was early in the morning. Sec. [within.] Expect[4279] awhile, my lord is busy.

Lord. What ’s the matter? Sec. Here is a lady5 Desires access to you upon some affairs, She says, may specially concern your lordship. Lord. A lady? What ’s her name? Sec. Madam Decoy. Lord. Decoy? Prithee admit her. [Exit Secretary.] Enter Decoy. Have you business, madam, With me? Dec. And such, I hope, as will not be10 Offensive to your lordship. Lord. I pray speak it. Dec. I would desire your lordship’s ear more private. Lord. Wait i’ th’ next chamber till I call.—Now, madam. Exit [Haircut]. Dec. Although I am a stranger to your lordship, I would not lose a fair occasion offer’d15 To show how much I honour, and would serve you. Lord. Please you to give me the particular, That I may know the extent of my engagement.[4280] I am ignorant by what desert you should Be encourag’d to have care of me. Dec. My lord,20 I will take boldness to be plain; beside Your other excellent parts, you have much fame For your sweet inclination to our sex. Lord. How d’ ye mean, madam? Dec. I’ that way your lordship Hath honourably practis’d upon some25 Not to be nam’d. Your noble constancy To a mistress hath deserv’d our general vote; And I, a part of womankind, have thought How to express my duty. Lord. In what, madam? Dec. Be not so strange, my lord. I knew the beauty30 And pleasures of your eyes; that handsome creature With whose fair life all your delight took leave, And to whose memory you have paid too much Sad tribute. Lord. What ’s all this? Dec. This: if your lordship Accept my service, in pure zeal to cure35 Your melancholy, I could point where you might Repair your loss. Lord. Your ladyship, I conceive, Doth traffic in flesh merchandize. Dec. To men Of honour, like yourself. I am well known39 To some in court, and come not with ambition Now to supplant your officer. Lord. What is The lady of pleasure you prefer? Dec. A lady Of birth and fortune, one upon whose virtue I may presume, the lady Aretina. Lord. Wife to Sir Thomas Bornwell? Dec. The same, sir.45 Lord. Have you prepar’d her? Dec. Not for your lordship, till I have found your pulse. I am acquainted with her disposition, She has a very appliable[4281] nature. Lord. And, madam, when expect you to be whipt50 For doing these fine favours? Dec. How, my lord? Your lordship does but jest, I hope; you make A difference between a lady that Does honourable offices, and one54 They call a bawd. Your lordship was not wont To have such coarse opinion of our practice. Lord. The Lady Aretina is my kinswoman. Dec. What if she be, my lord? The nearer blood, The dearer sympathy. Lord. I ’ll have thee carted.[4282] Dec. Your lordship will not so much stain your honour60 And education, to use a woman Of my quality— Lord. ’T is possible you may Be sent off with an honourable convoy Of halberdiers. Dec. Oh, my good lord!64 Lord. Your ladyship shall be no protection, If you but stay three minutes. Dec. I am gone.— When next you find rebellion in your blood, May all within ten mile o’ th’ court turn honest![4283] Exit. Lord. I do not find that proneness, since the fair Bella Maria died; my blood is cold,70 Nor is there beauty enough surviving To heighten me to wantonness.—Who waits? Re-enter Haircut [and Secretary]. And what said my lady? Hair. The silent language of her face, my lord, Was not so pleasant, as it show’d upon75 Her entrance. Lord. Would any man that meets This lady take her for a bawd? Hair. She does The trade an honour, credit to the profession. We may in time see baldness, quarter noses,79 And rotten legs to take the wall of footcloths. Lord. I ha’ thought better; call the lady back.— I wo’ not lose this opportunity.— Bid her not fear. [Exit Secretary.]—The favour is not common, And I ’ll reward it. I do wonder much Will Scentlove was not here to-day.85 Hair. I heard him say this morning he would wait Upon your lordship.—She is return’d, sir.

Sec. Madam, be confident, my lord ’s not angry. Lord. You return welcome, madam; you are better Read in your art, I hope, than to be frighted90 With any shape of anger, when you bring Such news to gentlemen. Madam, you shall Soon understand how I accept the office. Dec. You are the first lord, since I studied carriage, That show’d such infidelity and fury95 Upon so kind a message. Every gentleman Will show some breeding; but if one right honourable Should not have noble blood— Lord. You shall return My compliment, in a letter, to my lady99 Aretina. Favour me with a little patience.— Show her that chamber. Dec. I ’ll attend your lordship. Exeunt [Decoy and Haircut.—Secretary seats himself at a table]. Lord. Write,—“Madam, where your honour is in danger, my love must not be silent.” Enter [Sir William] Scentlove and Kickshaw. Scentlove and Kickshaw! Kick. Your lordship’s busy.104 Lord. Writing a letter;—nay, it sh’ not bar Any discourse. [Walks alternately to the Secretary and to Scentlove and Kickshaw.] Sec. “Silent.” Lord. “Though I be no physician, I may prevent a fever in your blood.” And where have you spent the morning’s conversation?110 Scent. Where you would have given the best barbary In your stable to have met on honourable terms. Lord. What new beauty? You acquaint yourselves With none but wonders. Scent. ’T is too low,—a miracle. Lord. It will require a strong faith.115 Sec. “Your blood.” Lord. “If you be innocent, preserve your fame, lest this Decoy-madam betray it, to your repentance”— By what name is she known? Scent. Ask Alexander;120 He knows her. Kick. Whom? Scent. The lady Celestina. Lord. He has a vast knowledge of ladies. ’Las, poor Alexander! When dost thou mean thy body shall lie fallow? Kick. When there is mercy in a petticoat: I must turn pilgrim for some breath. Lord. I think ’T were cooler travel, if you examine it,126 Upon the hoof through Spain. Scent. Through Ethiopia. Lord. Nay, less laborious to serve a prenticeship In Peru, and dig gold out of the mine, Though all the year were dog-days.130 Sec. “To repentance.” Lord. “In brief, this lady, could you fall from virtue, within my knowledge, will not blush to be a bawd.” Scent. But hang ’t, ’t is honourable journey-work;135 Thou art famous by it, and thy name ’s up. Kick. So, sir! Let me ask you a question, my dear knight: Which is less servile, to bring up the pheasant, And wait, or sit at table uncontroll’d,140 And carve to my own appetite? Scent. No more; Thou ’rt witty, as I am. Sec. “A bawd.” Scent. How ’s that? Kick. Oh, you are famous by ’t, and your name ’s up, sir. Lord. “Be wise, and reward my caution with timely care of yourself, so I shall not145 repent to be known your loving kinsman and servant”— Gentlemen, the lady Celestina, Is she so rare a thing? Kick. If you ’ll have my Opinion, my lord, I never saw150 So sweet, so fair, so rich a piece of nature. Lord. I ’ll show thee a fairer presently, to shame Thy eyes and judgment; look o’ that. [Gives him a miniature.]—So; I ’ll subscribe. [Signs his name to the letter.] Seal it; I ’ll excuse your pen for the direction. Kick. Bella Maria’s picture! she was handsome.155 Scent. But not to be compar’d— Lord. Your patience, gentlemen; I ’ll return instantly. Exit. Kick. Whither is my lord gone? Sec. To a lady i’ th’ next chamber. Scent. What is she? Sec. You shall pardon me, I am his secretary.160 Scent. I was wont to be of his counsel. A new officer. And I not know ’t? I am resolv’d to batter All other with the praise of Celestina: I must retain him. Re-enter Lord. Lord. Has not that object Convinc’d your erring judgments? Kick. What! this picture?165 Lord. Were but your thoughts as capable as mine Of her idea, you would wish no thought That were not active in her praise, above All worth and memory of her sex. Scent. She was fair, I must confess; but had your lordship look’d170 With eyes more narrow, and some less affection. Upon her face,— Kick. I do not love the copies Of any dead, they make me dream of goblins; Give me a living mistress, with but half The beauty of Celestina. Come, my lord,175 ’T is pity that a lord of so much flesh Should waste upon a ghost, when they are living Can give you a more honourable consumption. Scent. Why, do you mean, my lord, to live an infidel? Do, and see what will come on ’t; observe[4284] still,180 And dote upon your vigils; build a chamber Within a rock, a tomb among the worms, Not far off, where you may, in proof apocryphal, Court ’em not to devour the pretty pile Of flesh your mistress carried to the grave.185 There are no women in the world; all eyes, And tongues, and lips, are buried in her coffin! Lord. Why, do you think yourselves competent judges Of beauty, gentlemen? Both. What should hinder us?189 Kick. I have seen and tried as many as another, With a mortal back. Lord. Your eyes are brib’d, And your hearts chain’d to some desires; you cannot Enjoy the freedom of a sense. Kick. Your lordship Has a clear eyesight, and can judge and penetrate. Lord. I can, and give a perfect censure of195 Each line and point; distinguish beauty from A thousand forms, which your corrupted optics Would pass for natural. Scent. I desire no other Judge should determine us, and if your lordship Dare venture but your eyes upon this lady,200 I ’ll stand their justice, and be confident You shall give Celestina victory And triumph o’er all beauties past and living. Kick. I dare, my lord, venture a suit of clothes, You ’ll be o’ercome. Lord. You do not know my fortitude.205 Scent. Nor frailty; you dare not trust yourself to see her. Lord. Think you so, gentlemen? I dare see this creature To make you know your errors, and the difference Of her whose memory is my saint. Not trust My senses! I dare see, and speak with her.210 Which holds the best acquaintance to prepare My visit to her? Sent. I will do ’t, my lord. Kick. She is a lady free in entertainments. Lord. I would give this advantage to your cause, Bid her appear in all the ornaments215 Did ever wait on beauty, all the riches Pride can put on, and teach her face more charm Than ever poet drest up Venus in; Bid her be all the Graces, and the Queen Of Love in one, I ’ll see her, Scentlove, and220 Bring off my heart, arm’d but [with a] single thought Of one that ’s dead, without a wound; and when I have made your folly prisoner, I ’ll laugh at you. Scent. She shall expect you; trust to me for knowledge. Lord. I ’m for the present somewhere else engag’d;225 Let me hear from you. [Exit.] Scent. So! I am glad he ’s yet So near conversion. Kick. I am for Aretina. Scent. No mention of my lord. Kick. Prepare his lady, ’T is time he were reduc’d[4285] to the old sport;229 One lord like him more would undo the court. Exeunt. [Scene II.][4286] Enter Lady Bornwell, with a letter, and Decoy. Dec. He is the ornament of your blood, madam; I am much bound to his lordship. Lady B. He gives you A noble character. Dec. ’T is his goodness, madam. Lady B. [Aside.] I wanted such an engine. My lord has Done me a courtesy, to disclose her nature;5 I now know one to trust, and will employ her.— Touching my lord, for reasons which I shall Offer to your ladyship hereafter, I Desire you would be silent; but, to show9 How much I dare be confident in your secrecy, I pour my bosom forth. I love a gentleman, One whom there wo’ not need much conjuration To meet.—Your ear. [Whispers her.] Dec. I apprehend you, and I shall Be happy to be serviceable. I am sorry Your ladyship did not know me before now:15 I have done offices: and not a few Of the nobility but have done feats Within my house, which is convenient For situation, and artful chambers. And pretty pictures to provoke the fancy.20 Enter Littleworth. Little. Madam, all pleasures languish in your absence. Lady B. Your pardon a few minutes, sir.—You must Contrive it thus. [Walks aside with Decoy.] Little. I attend, and shall account it Honour to wait on your return. Lady B. He may not Have the least knowledge of my name or person.25 Dec. I have practis’d that already for some great ones, And dare again, to satisfy you, madam; I have a thousand ways to do sweet offices. Little. If this Lady Aretina should be honest, I ha’ lost time. She ’s free as air; I must30 Have closer conference, and if I have art, Make her affect me in revenge. Dec. This evening? Leave me to manage things. Lady B. You will oblige me. Dec. You shall commend my art, and thank me after. Exit. Lady B. I hope the revels are maintain’d within?35 Little. By Sir Thomas and his mistress. Lady B. How? His mistress? Little. The lady Celestina; I ne’er saw Eyes shoot more amorous interchange. Lady B. Is ’t so? Little. He wears her favour with mere[4287] pride— Lady B. Her favour? Little. A feather that he ravish’d from her fan;40 And is so full of courtship, which she smiles on. Lady B. ’T is well. Little. And praises her beyond all poetry. Lady B. I ’m glad he has so much wit. Little. [Aside.] Not jealous! Lady B. [Aside.] This secures me. What would make other ladies pale With jealousy, gives but license to my wand’rings.45 Let him now tax[4288] me, if he dare; and yet Her beauty ’s worth my envy, and I wish Revenge upon it, not because he loves, But that it shines above my own. Enter Kickshaw. Kick. Dear madam! Lady B. I have it.—You two gentlemen profess50 Much service to me; if I have a way To employ your wit and secrecy?— Both. You ’ll honour us. Lady B. You gave a high and worthy character Of Celestina. Kick. I remember, madam. Lady B. Do either of you love her? Kick. Not I, madam.55 Little. I would not, if I might. Lady B. She ’s now my guest, And, by a trick, invited by my husband, To disgrace me.—You, gentlemen, are held Wits of the town, the consuls that do govern The senate here, whose jeers are all authentic. The taverns and the ordinaries are61 Made academies, where you come, and all Your sins and surfeits made the time’s example. Your very nods can quell a theatre, No speech or poem good without your seal;65 You can protect sourrility, and publish; By your authority believ’d, no rapture Ought to have honest meaning. Kick. Leave our characters. Little. And name the employment. Lady B. You must exercise The strength of both your wits upon this lady, And talk her into humbleness or anger,71 Both which are equal, to my thought. If you Dare undertake this slight thing for my sake, My favour shall reward it; but be faithful, And seem to let all spring from your own freedom.75 Kick. This all! We can defame her; if you please, My friend shall call her whore, or any thing. And never be endanger’d to a duel. Lady B. How ’s that? Kick. He can endure a cudgelling, and no man80 Will fight after so fair a satisfaction: But leave us to our art, and do not limit us. Lady B. They are here; begin not till I whisper you. Enter Sir Thomas Bornwell, Celestina, Mariana, and Isabella. Lady B. Je vous prie, madame, d’excuser l’importunité de mes affaires, qui m’ont fait 85 offenser, par mon absence, une dame de laquelle j’ai reçu tant d’obligations. Cel. Pardonnez moi, madame; vous me faites trop d’honneur. 89 Lady B. C’est bien de la douceur de votre naturel, que vous tenez cette langage; mais j’espère que mon mari n’a pas manqué de vous entretenir en mon absence. Cel. En vérité, monsieur nous a fort obligé. 94 Lady B. Il eût trop failli, s’il n’eut taché de tout son pouvoir à vous rendre toutes sortes de services. Cel. C’est de sa bonté qu’il nous a tant favorise. Lady B. De la vôtre plutôt, madame, que vous fait donner d’interprétation si bénigne à ses efforts. 101 Cel. Je vois bien que la victoire sera toujours à madame, et de langage et de la courtesie. Lady B. Vraiment, madame, que jamais personne a plus désiré l’honneur de votre compagnie que moi. 106 Cel. Laissons-en, je vous supplie, des complimens, et permettez à votre servante de vous baiser les mains. Lady B. Vous m’obligez trop. 110 Born. I have no more patience; let ’s be merry again In our own language: madam, our mirth cools. Our nephew! Enter Frederick [intoxicated, and Steward]. Lady B. Passion of my brain! 114 Fred. Save you, gentlemen! save you, ladies! Lady B. I am undone. Fred. I must salute; no matter at which end I begin. [Salutes Celestina.] Lady B. There’s a compliment! Cel. Is this your nephew, madam? 120 Lady B. Je vous prie, madame, d’excuser les habits et le rude comportement de mon cousin. Il est tout fraîchement venu de l’université, où on l’a tout gâté. Cel. Excusez moi, madame, il est bien accompli. 126 Fred. This language should be French by the motions of your heads, and the mirth of your faces. Lady B. I am dishonour’d. 130 Fred. ’T is one of the finest tongues for ladies to show their teeth in: if you ’ll Latin it, I am for you, or Greek it; my tailor has not put me into French yet. Mille basia, basia mille. Cel. Je ne vous entends pas, monsieur;135 I understand you not, sir. Fred. Why, so! You and I then shall be in charity; For though we should be abusive, we ha’ the benefit Not to understand one another. Where ’s my aunt?140 I did hear music somewhere; and my brains, Tun’d with a bottle of your capering claret, Made haste to show their dancing. Little. Please you, madam, [Offering his box of sweetmeats to Celestina.] They are very uncomfortable.[4289] Stew. Alas, madam, How would you have me help it? I did use145 All means I could, after he heard the music, To make him drunk, in hope so to contain him; But the wine made him lighter, and his head Flew hither, ere I mist his heels. Kick. Nay, he spoke Latin to the lady.150 Lady B. O most unpardonable! Get him off Quickly, and discreetly too; or, if I live—— Stew. It is not in my power; he swears I am An absurd sober fellow; and if you keep A servant in his house to cross his humour,155 When the rich sword and belt comes home, he ’ll kill him. Lady B. What shall I do? Try your skill, Master Littleworth. Little. He has ne’er a sword.—Sweet master Frederick— Born. ’Tis pity, madam, such a scion should Be lost;—but you are clouded. Cel. Not I, sir,160 I never found myself more clear at heart. Born. I could play with a feather; your fan, lady.— Gentlemen, Aretina, ta, ra, ra, ra! Come, madam. Fred. Why, my good tutor in election, You might have been a scholar. Little. But I thank165 My friends, they brought me up a little better. Give me the town wits, that deliver jests Clean from the bow, that whistle in the air, And cleave the pin at twelvescore! Ladies do But laugh at a gentleman that has any learning;170 ’T is sin enough to have your clothes suspected. Leave us, and I will find a time to instruct you. Come, here are sugar plums; ’t is a good Frederick. Fred. Why, is not this my aunt’s house in the Strand? The noble rendezvous? Who laughs at me?175 Go, I will root here if I list, and talk Of rhetoric, logic, Latin, Greek, or any thing, And understand ’em too; who says the contrary? Yet, in a fair way, I contemn all learning, And will be as ignorant as he, or he,180 Or any taffeta, satin, scarlet, plush. Tissue, or cloth o’ bodkin[4290] gentleman. Whose manners are most gloriously infected.–– Did you laugh at me, lady? Cel. Not I, sir; But if I did show mirth upon your question,185 I hope you would not beat me, little gentleman? Fred. How! “little gentleman?” You dare not say These words to my new clothes, and fighting sword. Lady B. Nephew Frederick! Fred. “Little gentleman!” ’T is an affront both to my blood and person,190 I am a gentleman of as tall a birth As any boast[4291] nobility; though my clothes Smell o’ the lamp, my coat is honourable, Right honourable, full of or and argent.–– A “little gentleman!” Born. Coz, you must be patient;195 My lady meant you no dishonour, and You must remember she ’s a woman. Fred. Is she a woman? That ’s another matter.— Do you hear? My uncle tells me what you are. Cel. So, sir.200 Fred. You call’d me “little gentleman.” Cel. I did, sir. Fred. A little pink[4292] has made a lusty ship Strike her top-sail; the crow may beard the elephant, A whelp may tame the tiger, spite of all205 False decks and murderers;[4293] and a “little gentleman” Be hard enough to grapple with your ladyship, Top and top-gallant.—Will you go drink, uncle, T’ other enchanted bottle? You and I Will tipple, and talk philosophy. Born. Come, nephew.—210 You will excuse a minute’s absence, madam.— Wait you on us. Stew. My duty, sir. Exeunt Sir Thomas Bornwell, Frederick, and Steward. Lady B. Now, gentlemen. Kick. Madam, I had rather you excuse my language For speaking truth, than virtue suffer in My further silence; and it is my wonder215 That you, whose noble carriage hath deserv’d All honour and opinion, should now Be guilty of ill manners. Cel. What was that You told me, sir? Little. Do you not blush, madam, To ask that question? Cel. You amaze rather220 My cheek to paleness. What mean you by this? I am not troubled with the hiccup, gentlemen, You should bestow this fright upon me. Little. Then Pride and ill memory go together. Cel. How, sir? Kick. The gentleman on whom you exercis’d Your thin wit, was a nephew to the lady226 Whose guest you are; and though her modesty Look calm on the abuse of one so near Her blood, the affront was impious. Little. I am asham’d on ’t. You an ingenious lady, and well manner’d!230 I ’ll teach a bear as much civility. Cel. You may be master of the college, sir, For aught I know. Little. What college? [Cel.][4294] Of the bears. Have you a plot upon me? Do you possess Your wits, or know me, gentlemen? Re-enter Sir Thomas Bornwell, [behind]. Born. How ’s this?235 Kick. Know you? Yes; we do know you to an atom. Little. Madam, we know what stuff your soul is made on. Cel. But do not bark so like a mastiff, pray.–– Sure they are mad.—Let your brains stand awhile, And settle, gentlemen; you know not me;240 What am I? Little. Th’ art a puppet, a thing made Of clothes and painting, and not half so handsome As that which play’d Susanna in the fair. Cel. I heard you visited those canvas tragedies,244 One of their constant audience, and so taken With Susan, that you wish’d yourself a rival With the two wicked elders. Kick. You think this Is wit now. Come, you are— Cel. What, I beseech you? Your character will be full of salt and satire, No doubt. What am I? Kick. Why, you are a woman—250 Cel. And that ’s at least a bow wide of your knowledge. Kick. Would be thought handsome, and might pass i’ th’ country Upon a market day; but so miserably Forfeit to pride and fashions, that if Heaven Were a new gown, you’d not stay in ’t a fortnight.255 Cel. It must be miserably out of fashion then. Have I no sin but pride? Kick. Hast any virtue, Or but a good face, to excuse that want? Cel. You prais’d it yesterday. Kick. That made you proud. Cel. More pride! Kick. You need not:—to close up the praise,260 I have seen a better countenance in a sybil. Cel. When you wore spectacles of sack,[4295] mistook The painted cloth,[4296] and kist it for your mistress. Kick. Let me ask you a question; how much Have you consum’d in expectation265 That I would love you? Cel. Why, I think as much As you have paid away in honest debts This seven year. ’T is a pretty impudence, But cannot make me angry. Little. Is there any Man that will cast away his limbs upon her?270 Kick. You do not sing so well as I imagin’d, Nor dance; you reel in your coranto,[4297] and pinch Your petticoat too hard: y’ have no good ear To th’ music, and incline too much one shoulder, As you were dancing on the rope, and falling.275 You speak abominable French, and make A curtsey like a dairy-maid.—[Aside.] Not mad! Little. Do we not sting her handsomely? Born. A conspiracy! Kick. Your state is not so much as ’t is reported, When you confer notes, all your husband’s debts,280 And your own reconcil’d; but that ’s not it Will so much spoil your marriage. Cel. As what, sir? Let me know all my faults. Kick. Some men do whisper You are not over honest.[4298] Cel. All this shall not Move me to more than laughter, and some pity,285 Because you have the shapes of gentlemen; And though you have been insolent upon me, I will engage no friend to kick or cudgel you, To spoil your living and your limbs together: I leave that to diseases that offend you,290 And spare my curse, poor silken vermin! and Hereafter shall distinguish men from monkeys. Born. [coming forward.] Brave soul!—You brace of horse-leeches!—I have heard Their barbarous language, madam; y’ are too merciful: They shall be silent to your tongue; pray punish ’em.295 Cel. They are things not worth my character,[4299] nor mention Of any clean breath; so lost in honesty, They cannot satisfy for wrongs enough, Though they should steal out of the world at Tyburn.[4300] Little. We are hang’d already.300 Cel. Yet I will talk a little to the pilchards.—[4301] You two, that have not ’twixt you both the hundred Part of a soul, coarse woollen-witted fellows, Without a nap, with bodies made for burdens! You, that are only stuffings for apparel,305 As you were made but engines[4302] for your tailors To frame their clothes upon, and get them custom, Until men see you move; yet, then you dare not, Out of your guilt[4303] of being the ignobler beast, But give a horse the wall, whom you excel310 Only in dancing of the brawls,[4304] because The horse was not taught the French way. Your two faces, One fat, like Christmas, t’ other lean, like Candlemas, And prologue to a Lent, both bound together, Would figure Janus, and do many cures315 On agues, and the green disease,[4305] by frighting; But neither can, with all the characters And conjuring circles, charm a woman, though She ’d fourscore years upon her, and but one Tooth in her head, to love, or think well of you:320 And I were miserable to be at cost To court such a complexion as your malice Did impudently insinuate. But I waste time, And stain my breath in talking to such tadpoles. Go home, and wash your tongues in barley-water,325 Drink[4306] clean tobacco, be not hot i’ th’ mouth, And you may scape the beadle; so I leave you To shame, and your own garters!—Sir, I must Entreat you, for my honour, do not penance them, They are not worth your anger. How shall I330 Acquit your lady’s silence? Born. Madam, I Am sorry to suspect, and dare revenge. Cel. No cause of mine. Born. It must become me to attend you home. Cel. You are noble.—Farewell, mushrooms.

Lady B. Is she gone?335 Little. I think we pepper’d her. Kick. I ’m glad ’t is over; But I repent no service for you, madam.— Enter Servant, with a letter [and a jewel, which he delivers to Kickshaw]. To me? From whence?—A jewel! a good preface. Be happy the conclusion. He smiles upon ’t. Lady B. Some love letter. Little. He has a hundred mistresses: you may340 Be charitable, madam, I ha’ none; He surfeits, and I fall away i’ th’ kidneys. Kick. I ’ll meet.— [Exit Servant.] [Aside.] ’T is some great lady, questionless, that has Taken notice, and would satisfy her appetite. Lady B. Now, Master Alexander, you look bright o’ the sudden;346 Another spirit ’s in your eye. Kick. Not mine, madam; Only a summons to meet a friend. Lady B. What friend? Little. By this jewel, I know her not. Lady B. ’T is a she-friend. I ’ll follow, gentlemen;350 We may have a game at cent[4307] before you go. Kick. I shall attend you, madam. Little. ’T is our duty. [Exeunt Kickshaw and Littleworth.] Lady B. I blush while I converse with my own thoughts. Some strange fate governs me, but I must on; The ways are cast already, and we thrive355 When our sin fears no eye nor perspective. Exit.