Act 1 — [Scene III.][2476]

Cand. O gentlemen, so late! Y’ are very welcome, pray sit down. Lod. Carolo, did’st e’er see such a nest of caps?[2477] Ast. Methinks it ’s a most civil and most comely sight. Lod. What does he i’ th’ middle look like?5

Lod. Troth, shall I tell you, and aloud I ’ll tell it; We laugh to see, yet laugh we not in scorn,15 Amongst so many caps that long hat worn.

Cand. Indeed you ’re good observers; it shows strange: But gentlemen, I pray neither contemn, Nor yet deride a civil ornament; I could build so much in the round cap’s praise, That ’bove this high roof, I this flat would raise. Lod. Prithee, sweet bridegroom, do ’t.26 Cand. So all these guests will pardon me, I ’ll do ’t. All. With all our hearts. Cand. Thus, then, in the cap’s honour: To every sex, and state, both nature, time,30 The country’s laws, yea, and the very clime Do allot distinct habits; the spruce courtier Jets[2481] up and down in silk; the warrior Marches in buff; the clown plods on in gray: But for these upper garments thus I say,35 The seaman has his cap, par’d without brim; The gallant’s head is feather’d, that fits him; The soldier has his morion,[2482] women ha’ tires;[2483] Beasts have their head-pieces, and men ha’ theirs. Lod. Proceed.40 Cand. Each degree has his fashion, it ’s fit then, One should be laid by for the citizen, And that ’s the cap which you see swells not high, For caps are emblems of humility. It is a citizen’s badge, and first was worn45 By th’ Romans; for when any bondman’s turn Came to be made a freeman, thus ’t was said, He to the cap was call’d, that is, was made Of Rome a freeman; but was first close shorn: And so a citizen’s hair is still short worn.50 Lod. That close shaving made barbers a company, And now every citizen uses it. Cand. Of geometric figures the most rare, And perfect’st, are the circle and the square; The city and the school much build upon55 These figures, for both love proportion. The city-cap is round, the scholar’s square, To show that government and learning are The perfect’st limbs i’ th’ body of a state; For without them, all ’s disproportionate.60 If the cap had no honour, this might rear it, The reverend fathers of the law do wear it. It ’s light for summer, and in cold it sits Close to the skull, a warm house for the wits; It shows the whole face boldly, ’t is not made As if a man to look on ’t were afraid,66 Nor like a draper’s shop with broad dark shed, For he ’s no citizen that hides his head. Flat caps as proper are to city gowns, As to armours helmets, or to kings their crowns. Let then the city-cap by none be scorn’d,71 Since with it princes’ heads have been adorn’d. If more the round cap’s honour you would know, How would this long gown with this steeple[2484] show? All. Ha, ha, ha! most vile, most ugly.75 Cand. Pray, signor, pardon me, ’t was done in jest. Bride. A cup of claret wine there. 1 Pren. Wine? yes, forsooth, wine for the bride. Car. You ha’ well set out the cap, sir. Lod. Nay, that ’s flat.80 Cand. A health! Lod. Since his cap ’s round, that shall go round. Be bare, For in the cap’s praise all of you have share. [They bare their heads and drink. As 1 Prentice offers the wine to the Bride,] she hits him on the lips, [breaking the glass]. The bride ’s at cuffs. Cand. Oh, peace, I pray thee; thus far off I stand,85 I spied the error of my servants; She call’d for claret, and you fill’d out sack. That cup give me, ’t is for an old man’s back, And not for hers. Indeed, ’t was but mistaken; Ask all these else. Guests. No faith,’t was but mistaken. 1 Pren. Nay, she took it right enough.91 Cand. Good Luke, reach her that glass of claret. Here mistress bride, pledge me there. Bride. Now I ’ll none. Exit. Cand. How now? Lod. Look what your mistress ails.

All. We ’ll take our leaves, sir, too. Cand. Pray conceit not ill Of my wife’s sudden rising. This young knight, Sir Lodovico, is deep seen in physic,135 And he tells me, the disease, called the mother,[2485] Hangs on my wife, it is a vehement heaving And beating of the stomach, and that swelling Did with the pain thereof cramp up her arm. That hit his lips, and brake the glass,—no harm,140 It was no harm! Guests. No, signor, none at all. Cand. The straightest arrow may fly wide by chance. But come, we ’ll close this brawl up in some dance. Exeunt.