Act 5 — [Scene IV.][3271]

Cap. Come, my brave myrmidons, let us fall on. Let your caps swarm, my boys, and your nimble tongues Forget your mother-gibberish of “what do you lack?” And set your mouths ope, children, till your palates Fall frighted half a fathom past the cure5 Of bay-salt and gross pepper, and then cry “Philaster, brave Philaster!” Let Philaster Be deeper in request, my ding-dongs,[3272] My pairs of dear indentures,[3273] kings of clubs,[3273] Than your cold water-camlets,[3274] or your paintings10 Spitted with copper.[3275] Let not your hasty silks, Or your branch’d cloth of bodkin,[3276] or your tissues, Dearly belov’d of spiced cake and custards, Your Robin Hoods, Scarlets, and Johns, tie your affections In darkness to your shops. No dainty duckers,[3277] Up with your three-pil’d spirits, your wrought valours;[3278]16 And let your uncut cholers[3279] make the King feel The measure of your mightiness. Philaster! Cry, my rose-nobles,[3280] cry! All. Philaster! Philaster! Cap. How do you like this, my lord prince? These are mad boys, I tell you; these are things21 That will not strike their top-sails to a foist,[3281] And let a man of war, an argosy, Hull[3282] and cry cockles.[3283] Pha. Why, you rude slave, do you know what you do?25 Cap. My pretty prince of puppets, we do know; And give your greatness warning that you talk No more such bug’s-words,[3284] or that solder’d crown Shall be scratch’d with a musket.[3285] Dear prince Pippin, Down with your noble blood, or, as I live,30 I ’ll have you coddled.[3286]—Let him loose, my spirits: Make us a round ring with your bills, my Hectors, And let us see what this trim man dares do. Now, sir, have at you! here I lie; And with this swashing blow (do you see, sweet prince?)35 I could hulk[3287] your grace, and hang you up cross-legg’d, Like a hare at a poulter’s, and do this with this wiper.[3288] Pha. You will not see me murder’d, wicked villains? 1 Cit. Yes, indeed, will we, sir; we have not seen one For a great while. Cap. He would have weapons, would he? 40 Give him a broadside, my brave boys, with your pikes; Branch me his skin in flowers like a satin, And between every flower a mortal cut.— Your royalty shall ravel![3289]—Jag him, gentlemen; I’ll have him cut to the kell,[3290] then down the seams.45 O for a whip to make him galloon-laces![3291] I’ll have a coach-whip. Pha. Oh, spare me, gentlemen! Cap. Hold, hold; The man begins to fear and know himself. He shall for this time only be seel’d up,[3292]50 With a feather through his nose, that he may only See heaven, and think whither he is going. Nay, my beyond-sea sir, we will proclaim you: You would be king! Thou tender heir apparent to a church-ale,[3293]55 Thou slight prince of single sarcenet,[3294] Thou royal ring-tail,[3295] fit to fly at nothing But poor men’s poultry, and have every boy Beat thee from that too with his bread and butter! Pha. Gods keep me from these hell-hounds! 1 Cit. Shall’s geld him, captain?61 Cap. No, you shall spare his dowcets, my dear donsels;[3296] As you respect the ladies, let them flourish. The curses of a longing woman kill As speedy as a plague, boys.65 1 Cit. I’ll have a leg, that’s certain. 2 Cit. I’ll have an arm. 3 Cit. I’ll have his nose, and at mine own charge build A college and clap ’t upon the gate.[3297] 4 Cit. I’ll have his little gut to string a kit[3298] with; For certainly a royal gut will sound like silver. Pha. Would they were in thy belly, and I past71 My pain once! 5 Cit. Good captain, let me have his liver to feed ferrets. Cap. Who will have parcels else? Speak. Pha. Good gods, consider me! I shall be tortur’d.75 1 Cit. Captain, I’ll give you the trimming of your two-hand sword, And let me have his skin to make false scabbards. 2 Cit. He had no horns, sir, had he? Cap. No, sir, he ’s a pollard.[3299] What wouldst thou do with horns? 2 Cit. Oh, if he had had,80 I would have made rare hafts and whistles of ’em; But his shin-bones, if they be sound, shall serve me.

All. Long live Philaster, the brave Prince Philaster! Phi. I thank you, gentlemen. But why are these Rude weapons brought abroad, to teach your hands85 Uncivil trades? Cap. My royal Rosicleer,[3300] We are thy myrmidons, thy guard, thy roarers;[3301] And when thy noble body is in durance, Thus do we clap our musty murrions[3302] on, And trace the streets in terror. Is it peace,90 Thou Mars of men? Is the King sociable, And bids thee live? Art thou above thy foe-men, And free as Phoebus? Speak. If not, this stand[3303] Of royal blood shall he abroach, a-tilt, And run even to the lees of honour.95 Phi. Hold, and be satisfied. I am myself; Free as my thoughts are; by the gods, I am! Cap. Art thou the dainty darling of the King? Art thou the Hylas to our Hercules? Do the lords bow, and the regarded scarlets[3304] Kiss their gumm’d golls,[3305] and cry, “We are your servants”?101 Is the court navigable and the presence stuck With flags of friendship? If not, we are thy castle, And this man sleeps. Phi. I am what I desire to be, your friend; I am what I was born to be, your prince.106 Pha. Sir, there is some humanity in you; You have a noble soul. Forget my name, And know my misery; set me safe aboard From these wild cannibals, and as I live,110 I ’ll quit this land for ever. There is nothing,— Perpetual prisonment, cold, hunger, sickness Of all sorts, of all dangers, and all together, The worst company of the worst men, madness, age, To be as many creatures as a woman,115 And do as all they do, nay, to despair,— But I would rather make it a new nature, And live with all these, than endure one hour Amongst these wild dogs. Phi. I do pity you.—Friends, discharge your fears;120 Deliver me the prince. I ’ll warrant you I shall be old enough to find my safety. 3 Cit. Good sir, take heed he does not hurt you; He is a fierce man, I can tell you, sir. Cap. Prince, by your leave, I ’ll have a surcingle,[3306]125 And make[3307] you like a hawk. [Phar.] strives. Phi. Away, away, there is no danger in him: Alas, he had rather sleep to shake his fit off! Look you, friends, how gently he leads! Upon my word, He ’s tame enough, he needs no further watching.130 Good my friends, go to your houses, And by me have your pardons and my love; And know there shall be nothing in my power You may deserve, but you shall have your wishes. To give you more thanks, were to flatter you. Continue still your love; and for an earnest,136 Drink this. [Gives money.] All. Long mayst thou live, brave prince, brave prince, brave prince! Exeunt Phil. and Phar. Cap. Go thy ways, thou art the king of courtesy! Fall off again, my sweet youths. Come,140 And every man trace to his house again, And hang his pewter up; then to the tavern, And bring your wives in muffs. We will have music; And the red grape shall make us dance and rise, boys. Exeunt.