Act 5 — Scene IV.[2054]

Sub. How! ha’ you eaten your gag? Dap. Yes, faith, it crumbled Away i’ my mouth. Sub. You ha’ spoil’d all then. Dap. No! I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me. Sub. Your aunt ’s a gracious lady; but in troth You were to blame. Dap. The fume did overcome me,5 And I did do ’t to stay my stomach. ’Pray you So satisfy her grace. [Enter Face in his uniform.] Here comes the captain. Face. How now! Is his mouth down? Sub. Ay, he has spoken! Face. A pox, I heard him, and you too. He’s undone then.— [Aside to Subtle.] I have been fain to say, the house is haunted10 With spirits, to keep churl back. Sub. And hast thou done it? Face. Sure, for this night. Sub. Why, then triumph and sing Of Face so famous, the precious king Of present wits. Face. Did you not hear the coil14 About the door? Sub. Yes, and I dwindled[2055] with it. Face. Show him his aunt, and let him be dispatch’d; I ’ll send her to you. [Exit Face.] Sub. Well, sir, your aunt her grace Will give you audience presently, on my suit, And the captain’s word that you did not eat your gag In any contempt of her highness. [Unbinds his eyes.] Dap. Not I, in troth, sir.20

Sub. Here she is come. Down o’ your knees and wriggle: She has a stately presence. [Dapper kneels and shuffles towards her.] Good! Yet nearer, And bid, God save you! Dap. Madam! Sub. And your aunt. Dap. And my most gracious aunt, God save your grace. Dol. Nephew, we thought to have been angry with you;25 But that sweet face of yours hath turn’d the tide, And made it flow with joy, that ebb’d of love. Arise, and touch our velvet gown. Sub. The skirts, And kiss ’em. So! Dol. Let me now stroke that head. Much, nephew, shalt thou win, much shalt thou spend;30 Much shalt thou give away, much shalt thou lend. Sub. [Aside.] Ay, much! indeed.—Why do you not thank her grace? Dap. I cannot speak for joy. Sub. See, the kind wretch! Your grace’s kinsman right. Dol. Give me the bird.—— Here is your fly in a purse, about your neck, cousin;35 Wear it, and feed it about this day sev’n-night, On your right wrist—— Sub. Open a vein with a pin And let it suck but once a week; till then, You must not look on ’t. Dol. No; and, kinsman, Bear yourself worthy of the blood you came on. Sub. Her grace would ha’ you eat no more Woolsack[2056] pies,41 Nor Dagger[2056] frumety.[2057] Dol. Nor break his fast In Heaven[2056] and Hell.[2056] Sub. She ’s with you everywhere! Nor play with costermongers, at mumchance,[2058] traytrip,[2058] God-make-you-rich[2058] (when as your aunt has done it); but keep45 The gallant’st company, and the best games—— Dap. Yes, sir. Sub. Gleek[2058] and primero,[2058] and what you get, be true to us. Dap. By this hand, I will. Sub. You may bring ’s a thousand pound Before to-morrow night, if but three thousand Be stirring, an you will. Dap. I swear I will then.50 Sub. Your fly will learn you all games. Face. [within.] Ha’ you done there? Sub. Your grace will command him no more duties? Dol. No; But come and see me often. I may chance To leave him three or four hundred chests of treasure,54 And some twelve thousand acres of fairy land, If he game well and comely with good gamesters. Sub. There ’s a kind aunt: kiss her departing part.— But you must sell your forty mark a year now. Dap. Ay, sir, I mean. Sub. Or, give ’t away; pox on ’t! Dap. I ’ll gi’ ’t mine aunt. I ’ll go and fetch the writings. 60 [Exit.] Sub. ’T is well; away.

Face. Where ’s Subtle? Sub. Here; what news? Face. Drugger is at the door; go take his suit, And bid him fetch a parson presently. Say he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend64 A hundred pound by the service! [Exit Subtle.] Now, Queen Dol, Have you pack’d up all? Dol. Yes. Face. And how do you like The Lady Pliant? Dol. A good dull innocent.

Sub. Here’s your Hieronimo’s cloak and hat. Face. Give me ’em. Sub. And the ruff too? Face. Yes; I ’ll come to you presently. [Exit.] Sub. Now he is gone about his project, Dol,70 I told you of, for the widow. Dol. ’T is direct Against our articles. Sub. Well, we will fit him, wench. Hast thou gull’d her of her jewels or her bracelets? Dol. No; but I will do ’t. Sub. Soon at night, my Dolly, When we are shipt, and all our goods aboard,75 Eastward for Ratcliff, we will turn our course To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word, And take our leaves of this o’erweening rascal. This peremptory Face. Dol. Content; I ’m weary of him. Sub. Thou ’st cause, when the slave will run at wiving, Dol,80 Against the instrument that was drawn between us. Dol. I ’ll pluck his bird as bare as I can. Sub. Yes, tell her She must by any means address some present To th’ cunning man, make him amends for wronging His art with her suspicion; send a ring,85 Or chain of pearl; she will be tortur’d else Extremely in her sleep, say, and ha’ strange things Come to her. Wilt thou? Dol. Yes. Sub. My fine flitter-mouse,[2059] My bird o’ the night! We ’ll tickle it at the Pigeons,[2060]89 When we have all, and may unlock the trunks, And say, this ’s mine, and thine; and thine, and mine. They kiss.

Face. What now! a billing? Sub. Yes, a little exalted In the good passage of our stock-affairs. Face. Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle, And send Nab back again to wash his face.95 Sub. I will; and shave himself? [Exit.] Face. If you can get him. Dol. You are hot upon it, Face, whate’er it is! Face. A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by. [Re-enter Subtle.] Is he gone? Sub. The chaplain waits you i’ the hall, sir. Face. I ’ll go bestow him. [Exit.] Dol. He ’ll now marry her instantly. Sub. He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol,101 Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him Is no deceit, but justice, that would break Such an inextricable tie as ours was. Dol. Let me alone to fit him.

Face. Come, my venturers, You ha’ pack’d up all? Where be the trunks? Bring forth.106 Sub. Here. Face. Let us see ’em. Where ’s the money? Sub. Here, In this. Face. Mammon’s ten pound; eight score before; The brethren’s money this. Drugger’s and Dapper’s. What paper ’s that? Dol. The jewel of the waiting maid’s,110 That stole it from her lady, to know certain—— Face. If she should have precedence of her mistress? Dol. Yes. Face. What box is that? Sub. The fish-wives’ rings, I think, And th’ ale-wives’ single money.[2061] Is ’t not, Dol? Dol. Yes; and the whistle that the sailor’s wife115 Brought you to know an her husband were with Ward.[2062] Face. We ’ll wet it to-morrow; and our silver beakers And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats And girdles and hangers? Sub. Here, i’ the trunk, And the bolts of lawn. Face. Is Drugger’s damask there, And the tobacco? Sub. Yes. Face. Give me the keys.121 Dol. Why you the keys? Sub. No matter, Dol; because We shall not open ’em before he comes. Face. ’T is true, you shall not open them, indeed; Nor have ’em forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol. Dol. No!125 Face. No, my smock-rampant. The right is, my master Knows all, has pardon’d me, and he will keep ’em. Doctor, ’t is true—you look—for all your figures: I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners, Both he and she, be satisfied: for here130 Determines[2063] the indenture tripartite ’Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do Is to help you over the wall, o’ the back-side, Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol. Here will be officers presently, bethink you135 Of some course suddenly to scape the dock; For thither you ’ll come else. (Some knock.) Hark you, thunder. Sub. You are a precious fiend! Offi. [without.] Open the door. Face. Dol, I am sorry for thee i’ faith; but hear’st thou? It shall go hard but I will place thee somewhere:140 Thou shalt ha’ my letter to Mistress Amo—— Dol. Hang you. Face. Or Madam Caesarean. Dol. Pox upon you, rogue, Would I had but time to beat thee! Face. Subtle, Let ’s know where you ’ll set up next; I will send you144 A customer now and then, for old acquaintance. What new course have you? Sub. Rogue, I ’ll hang myself; That I may walk a greater devil than thou, And haunt thee i’ the flock-bed and the buttery. [Exeunt.]