THE VIRGIN RACE Or, York-shires Glory.
Reading edition
Being an Account of a Race lately Run at Temple-Newnham-Green; None being admitted to run, but such as were supposed Virgins. The first that came to the two Miles-Race end, was to have a Silver Spoon, the second, a silver bodkin, the third a Silver Thimble, and the fourth Nothing at all.
Tune is, a New Game at Cards.
[60.]You that do desire to hear, Of a Virgin Race run in York-Shire, Come and Listen, I'le declare, Such News before, you never did hear; For I think since the World begun But seldom Virgins Races run. Four Virgins that supposed were A Race did run I now declare, Sure such a Race was never seen, As this at Temple Newnham Green. In half-shirts & Drawers these Maids did run But Bonny Nan the Race has won A Silver Spoon this Nan obtain'd The next a Silver Bodkin gain'd The third that was not quite so nimble, Was to have a Silver Thimble; And she that was the last of all. Nothing unto her share did fall. In Drawers Red Ann Clayton run, And she it was the Race that won; Pegg Hall as I may tell to you, Did run in Drawers that were Blew; Honest Alice Hall that was the third, Her Drawers were white upon my word. A concourse great of People were For to behold these Virgins there, Who so well acted the Mans part, And love a Man with all their heart; But what means this, for well we know Maids through the Nation all do so. Now let us come to Bonny Nan, Who won a Race once of a man, In Bassing Hall Street he did dwell His name was Luke, 'tis known full well; And let me now declare to you, At something else she'l beat him too. Let none the York-shire Girls despise Who are so Active now a days, So brisk and nimble they do grow, That few can match them, I do know: Then let us stand up for York shire, Those Country Girls I love most dear. A York shire Girl who can outvie, No City Girls can them come nigh, They've Rosey Blushes in their Cheeks, While City Girls are Green as Leeks, This with my fancy will agree A York shire Girl shall be for me. Then here's a Health to a York shire Girl, For in my eye she is a Pearl Whose Beauty doth so charm mine eye, That for her I would freely dye. Her virtues do her face adorn, And makes her look fresh as the Morn. Now to conclude unto my friend These Lines I freely recommend; Advising him above the rest, To love a Yorkshire Girl the best; But let him use his skill for I Will love a Yorkshire Girl until I dye
FINIS
Printed for J Wright, J Clark, W Thackeray, and T. Passinger—
[61.] There were two good fellows of ancient society (who had not seen one another in a great space of tyme) that one morning very luckily met each other in Budge Row, and after some signes of gladnesse to meet so happily, they agreed upon a mornings draught, which lasted almost till noon, in which time they were both sufficiently liquor'd. But their bellies being fuller than their brains, they did resolve to bring up the rear of that morning's action with a Cup of Canary; away they went to the Swan Tavern at Dowgate, where for three hours longer they sat pecking at one another, like two Game Cocks at the end of a battaile, untill both their Eyes were in a very glimmering Condition. In the mean time, whilst they were thus toaping, there fell an exceeding violent and continuing glut of Rain, so that it flowed up to the threshold of the Tavern door, and no passenger could get over: By this time my good fellows having call'd, and paid the reckoning, they both came reeling to the door, and seeing so broad a water tumbled down Dowgate, one of them swore it was the Thames, and began to call a Sculler; the other being unwilling to engage further, said he would take his leave, which he did with so low a bending Complement, that his britch touching a little too hard against the stump of a post which was behind him, that it made him rebound into the middle of the stream with his head forward. The unfortunate fellow was no sooner in, but he began to stretch forth his Armes and Leggs to swim; the other which stood upon the shore, cryed out lamentably for the danger of his friend, and deploring the loss of so good a fellow, and what loss his Wife and Children would suffer in his death. But in conclusion (as the last word of Comfort) he calls out to him in these words. Dost thou hear Friend! Friend! if thou canst but Gaine Temple Staire's thou wilt be safe, I warrant thee, unto which the swimming man made reply. A pox of Gaine, I do not think of Gaine, if I can but save myself, I care not.
Quidam erat.
[5.]A preaching fryar there was, who thus began,
The Scripture saith there was a certaine man:
A certaine man? but I do read no where,
A certaine man, a phrase in Scripture common,
But no place shewes there was a Certaine Woman:
And fit it is, that we should ground our faith
On nothing more than what the Scripture saith.
[12.]A fellow once said He would ne're keep his Bed, Though sick, I heard him to tell it, And his Reason was, Nay I know the Cause, For he still had a mind to Sell it.
[26.] A great German Prince, that was much addicted to Drinking, had drank so much one day, that the next he was very sick; then his Fool came in to him and askt him, why he was so melancholly? he told him his Sickness was occasion'd by drinking yesterday: Why then, says the Fool, if that be all, I'll be your Physician; that is, if you are ill with drinking one day, take a Hare of the same Dog. Well, says the Prince, and what the second day? The Fool told him the same again: And what the third day? the same too. And what at the fourth? Why the same. We'll come to the purpose, says he, and what the fifth day? Why Faith, says he, then you'll be as arrant a Fool as I am.