The Picture of an English Antick, with a List of his ridiculous Habits and apish Gestures.
Reading edition
Maids, where are your hearts become? look you what here is!
[33.]His hat in fashion like a close-stoolepan.
Set on the top of his noddle like a coxcombe.
Banded with a calves tail, and a bunch of riband.
A feather in his hat, hanging down like a Fox taile.
Long haire, with ribands tied in it.
His face spotted.
His beard on the upper lip, compassing his mouth.
His chin thrust out, singing as he goes.
His band lapping over before.
Great band strings, with a ring tied.
A long wasted dubblet unbuttoned half way.
Little skirts.
His sleeves unbuttoned.
In one hand a stick, playing with it, in the other his cloke hanging.
His breeches unhooked ready to drop off.
His shirt hanging out.
His codpeece open tied at the top with a great bunch of riband.
His belt about his hips.
His sword swapping betweene his legs like a Monkeys taile.
Many dozen points at knees.
Above the points of either side two bunches of riband of severall colours.
Boot hose tops, tied about the middle of the Calfe, as long as a paire of shirt sleeves, double at the ends like a ruffe band.
The Tops of his boots very large turned down as low as his spurs.
A great paire of spurres, gingling like a Morrice dancer.
The feet of his boots 2 inches too long.
Two horns at each end of his foot, stradling as he goes.
Nov. 18, 1646.
[12.]One desir'd, being dead, To have Hysop round his head, But Time is better I think; For you'l find it a crime, If not buryed in time, For certain your Corps will stink.
[32.] What work is that the faster ye work, longer is it ere ye have done, and the slower ye work the sooner ye make an end?
Solution. That is turning of a Spit; for if ye turn fast, it will be long ere the meat be roasted, but if ye turn slowly, the sooner it is roasted.
A new married Bride.
[5.]The first of all our sex, came from the side of man, I thither am return'd from whence I came.
Of finding a hare.
[6.]A Gallant full of life, and void of care. Asked his friend if he would find a hare? He that for sleepe, more than such sports did care, Said, Goe your waies, and leave me heere alone; Let them find hares that lost them, I lost none.
The next illustration is from a single sheet broadside entitled "Englands Wolfe with eagles clawes, or the cruell Impieties of Bloud-Thirsty Royalists, and blasphemous Anti-Parliamentarians, under the command of that inhumane Prince Rupert, Digby, and the rest. Wherein the barbarous Crueltie of our Civill uncivill Warres is briefly discovered. London: Printed by Matthew Simmons dwelling in Aldersgate Streete. 1646."
This broadside scarcely comes within the scope of this work, dealing as it does with the alleged cruelties committed by the Cavaliers; but the engraving clearly is a political satire, not only on the Cavaliers themselves, but on their extravagances in dress.
[18.] If you ask why borrowed Books seldom return to their Owners? this is the Reason one gives for it: Because 'tis easier to keep 'em, than what is in them.
[8.] There was a Painter became a Physician, whereupon one said to him, You have done well, for before the faults of your work were seen, but now they are unseen.
[12.]A Lawyer said in jest A Taylor is the best Client in all the Land: And his reason is good, If well understood, 'Cause he has so many Suits in hand.
In Richardum quendam, Divitem, Avarum.
[24.]Devising on a time what name I might Best give unto a dry illiberall chuffe, After long search on his owne name I light, Nay then (said I) No more, I have enough; His name and nature do full well agree, For's name is Rich and hard; and so is he.