The Astrologer's Bugg Beare.

[64.] In his little tract he chaffs the people most unmercifully, yet very quietly, at times so much so that one might almost think it written in earnest. For instance: "A Usurer that was to receive money of a country man that was his debter on that day, durst not to venter fourth of his house; by which meanes the man rid forth out of London and paid not in his moneyes, for which cause the Usurer was about to cut his own throat, and had don it, if he had not bin prevented by some of his Neighboures.

Some other Christians were so fearefull of what would befall, that they sent their maids two dayes before Black monday for to fetch in faire water in a redynesse to wash, fearing that the ayre would infect the water.

Some tooke Medicines, Pils, and Antidotes, which was administred unto them by a supposed out landish doctor, which he had set bils for in severall places, caling his Medicines, an Antidote against the tirrible Eclipes of the Sun, so he got money, and they went away as wise as woodcockes."

Ben Jonson, in "The Alchemist" gives a very vivid and amusing picture of an astrologer and his gull. Act 1, Scene 3. Subtle (the astrologer), Face (his agent), Drugger (a tobacconist).

[65.]Subtle. What is your name, say you, Abel Drugger?

Drugger. Yes Sir,

Sub. A Seller of Tobacco?

Dru. Yes, Sir

Sub. 'Umh,

Dru. I, and't please you.

Sub. Well,

Your business Abel?

Dru. This, and't please your Worship, I am a yong beginner, and am building Of a new shop, and't like your worship, just At Corner of a Street: (Here's the plot on't.) And I would know, by art, Sir, of your Worship, Which way I should make my dore, by Necromancie. And where my Shelves. And which should be for Boxes, And which for Potts. I would be glad to thrive, Sir, And, I was wish'd to your Worship by a Gentleman, One Captaine Face, that say's you know mens Planets, And their good Angels, and their bad.

Sub. I doe

Face. What! my honest Abel?

Thou art well met here.

Dru. Troth, Sir, I was speaking Just as your Worship came here, of your Worship. I pray you, speake for me to M^r Doctor.

Face. He shall doe anything. Doctor, doe you heare? This is my friend, Abel, an honest fellow.

......

Sub. H'is a fortunate fellow, that I am sure on.

Face. Already, Sir, ha' you found it? Lo' the Abel!

Sub. And in right way to'ward riches.

Face. Sir!

Face. What, and so little Beard?

Face. 'Slid, Doctor, how canst thou know this so soone? I am amus'd at that!

Sub. By a rule, Captayne In Metaposcopie which I doe worke by, A certaine Starre i' the forehead, which you see not. Your Chest-nut, or your Olive colourd face Do's never fayle; and your long Eare doth promise. I knew't, by certaine spotts too, in his teeth, And on the nayle of his Mercurial finger.

Face. Which finger's that?

Sub. His little finger, Looke. Yo' were borne upon a Wensday.

Drug. Yes, indeed, Sir.

Sub. The Thumbe, in Chiromantie, we give Venus; The Fore-finger to Iove; the Midst, to Saturne; The Ring to Sol, the Least to Mercurie, Who was the Lord, Sir, of his Horoscope, His House of Life being Libra. Which foreshew'd He should be a Marchant, and should trade with Ballance.

Face. Why, this is strange! Is't not, honest Nab?

Sub. There is a Ship now, comming from Ormu's, That shall yeeld him such a Commoditie Of Drugs. This is the West, and this the South?

Drug. Yes Sir.

Sub. And those are your two sides!

Drug. I, Sir.

Sub. Make me your Dore, then, South; your broad side, West; And, on the East-side of your shop, aloft, Write Mathlaj, Tarmiel, and Baraborat; Upon the North-part Rael, Velel, Thiel, These are the names of those Mercurian Spirits, That doe fright flyes from boxes.

Drug. Yes Sir,

Sub. And Beneath your threshold, bury me a Loade stone To draw in Gallants that weare spurres; The rest Theyll seeme to follow.

In this play, too, Alchemy is scarified, as is also the Puritanism of the age.

[32.] What is that goeth about the wood and cannot get in?

Solution. It is the bark of a tree, for never is the bark within the tree, but alwayes without.