THE GREAT BOOBEE.53
Reading edition
THE GREAT BOOBEE.53
To a pleasant New Tune or Sallenger's Round.
[28.]My Friend, if you will understand my Fortunes what they are, I once had Cattell, House and Land, but now I am never the near; My Father left a good estate, as I may tell to thee, I couzned was of all I had, like a great Boobee.
I went to School with a good intent,
and for to learn my Book,
And all the day I went to play,
in it I never did look:
Full seven years, or very nigh,
as I may tell to thee,
like a great Boobee.
My Father then in all the haste, did set me to the Plow, And for to lash the Horse about, indeed I knew not how: My Father took his Whip in his hand, and soundly lashed me, He call'd me Fool and Country Clown, and great Boobee.
But I did from my Father run, for I will plow no more, Because he so had slashed me, and made my sides so sore: But I will go to London Town some Vashions for to see, When I came there, they call'd me Clown and great Boobee.
But as I went along the street,
I carried my Hat in my hand,
And to every one that I did meet,
Some did laugh, and some did scoff,
and some did mock at me,
And some did say I was a Woodcock,
and a great Boobee.
Then did I walk in hast to Paul's the Steeple for to view, Because I heard some people say, it must be builded new; Then I got up unto the top, the City for to see, It was so high, it made me Cry like a great Boobee.
From thence I went to Westminster and for to see the Tombs, Ah, said I, what a house is here, with an infinite sight of Rooms? Sweetly the Abby bells did ring, it was a fine sight to see, Methought I was going to Heaven in a string like a great Boobee.
But as I went along the Street the most part of the day, Many gallants did I meet methought they were very gay: I blew my Nose and foul'd my Hose, some people did me see, They said I was a Beastly Fool, and a great Boobee.
Next day I through Pye Corner past the roast meat on the Stall Invited me to take a taste my Money was but small: The Meat I pickt, the Cook me kickt as I may tell to thee, He beat me sore, and made me rore, like a great Boobee.
As I through Smithfield lately walkt a gallant Lass I met Familiarly with me she talkt, which I cannot forget: She proferr'd me a pint of Wine, methought she was wondrous free, To the Tavern then I went with her, like a great Boobee.
She told me we were neer of kin, and call'd for Wine good store, Before the reckoning was brought in my Cousin proved a ——: My Purse she pickt, and went away, my Cousin couzned me, The Vintner kickt me out of door, like a great Boobee.
At the Exchange when I came there, I saw most gallant things, I thought the Pictures living were of all our English Kings: I doft my Hat, and made a Leg, and kneeled on my knee, The people laught, and call'd me Fool, and great Boobee.
where there is great resort,
My pleasure was my punishment,
I did not like the sport:
The Garden Bull with his stout horns
on high then tossed me,
I did bewray myself with fear,
like a great Boobee.
Then o're the Water did I pass, as you shall understand, I dropt into the Thames alas before I came to Land: The Water-man did help me out, and thus did say to me, Tis not thy fortune to be drown'd like a great Boobee.
But I have learned so much wit, shall shorten all my cares, If I can but a License get to play before the Bears: 'Twill be a gallant place indeed, as I may tell to thee Then who dare call me Fool or Ass or great Boobee.
[18.] A pleasant Fancy of an Italian by name Trivelino, Who falling asleep one Day, with his Horse's Bridle twisted in his Arm, another came who unbridled his Horse and got away. Trivelino being awaked, and missing his Horse began to feel himself about, saying Either I am Trivelino, or not: If I am Trivelino my Horse is lost; If not, I have got a Bridle, but know not how.
[12.]A simple Fellow lookt On a dish that was cookt, Wherein was a Calves Head by name; One told him, 'twas so clear, If he lookt very near, He might see his face in the same.
Ad Johannuelem Leporem, Lepidissimum; Carmen Heroicum.
[24.]I sing the furious battails of the Sphœres Acted in eight and twenty fathom deep, And from that (a) time, reckon so many yeares You'l find (b) Endimion fell fast asleep.
And now assist me O ye (c) Musiques nine That tell the Orbs in order as they fight And thou dread (d) Atlas with thine eyes so fine, Smile on me now that first begin to write.
(e) Pompey that once was Tapster of New June, And fought with Cæsar on th' (f) Æmathian plaines, First with his dreadful (g) Myrmidons came in, And let them blood in the Hepatick veines.
But then an Antelope in Sable blew, Clad like the (h) Prince of Aurange in his cloke, Studded with Satyres, on his Army drew, And presently (i) Pheander's Army broke.
(k) Philip for hardiness sirnamed Chub, In Beauty equall to fork bearing (l) Bacchus, Made such a thrust at (m) Phœbe with his Club, That made the (n) Parthians cry she will —— us.
A subtle Gloworme lying in a hedge, And heard the story of sweet cheek't (o) Apollo, Snatch'd from bright (p) Styropes his Antick sledge, And to the butter'd Flownders cry'd out (q) Holla.
Holla you pamper'd Jades, quoth he, look here, And mounting straight upon a Lobsters thigh, An English man inflam'd with (r) double Beere, Swore nev'r to (s) drink to Man, a Woman by.
By this time grew the conflict to be (t) hot, Boots against boots, 'gainst (u) Sandals, Sandals fly, Many poor thirsty men went to the pot, Feathers lopt off, spurrs every where did lie. Cætera desiderantur.
Of Treason.
[16.]Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.
[12.]A miserable Jack Gave a little glass of Sack. To a Lass that liv'd at the Spittle; 'Tis old wine, says he, That's a wonder, says she, To be old, and yet so little.
[18.] 'Tis said of one who well remembred what he had lent, but forgot what he had borrowed, that he had lost one half of his Memory.
On the word intollerable.
[5.]Two gentlemen did to a Tavern come, And call'd the drawer for to shew a room, The drawer did, and what room think ye was't? One of the small ones, where men drink in haste; One gentleman sat down there, but the other Dislik'd it, would not sit, call'd for another: At which his friend, rising up from the table, Cryes, friend, let's stay, this room is tollerable: Why, that's the cause (quoth hee) I will not stay, Is that the cause, quoth th' other? why, I pray? To give a reason to you, I am able, Because I hate to be in—Tollerable.
[26.] A Gentleman coming drunk to Bed over night, in the morning could not find his breeches: then he knock'd for the Chamberlain: Sir, says he, if you are sure you brought them in with you, you had best search your pockets for them, for you lost all your Money last Night out of your Pockets, it may be your Breeches are got in there.