PORTSMOUTH'S Lamentation
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Dame Portsmouth was design'd for France, But therein was prevented; Who mourns at this Unhappy Chance, and sadly doth lament it.
To the Tune of, Tom the Taylor, Or, Titus Oats.
[73.]I prithee Portsmouth tell me plain, without dissimulation, When dost thou home return again, and leave this English Nation? Your youthful days are past and gone, you plainly may perceive it Winter of age is coming on, 'tis true, you may believe it. And, Nelly, is't not so with thee, why dost thou seem to flout me, I am in clos'd with misery, and sorrows round about me: O, 'twas a sad and fatal hour, as ere could come to me, When Death did all my joys devour, on purpose to undoe me. Thy loss was much, I must confess, and much to be lamented, Now thou art almost pittiless, thy design it is prevented: To France 'twas thy intent to go, but therein did'st miscarry, And trouble 'tis to thee I know, that thou art forc'd to tarry. Fye Nell, this news is worse and worse, and doth increase my trouble, That I must now unstring my purse, doth make my sorrow double: From hence I thought for to convey what in this land I gained, But I am here confin'd to stay, and now my credits stain'd. Pish, lightly come, and lightly go, ne'er let this matter grieve thee, Tho' fortune seems to be thy foe, and for a while to leave thee: Yet shee again on thee may smile, then be not broken hearted, Tho' from this little Brittish Isle, thou must not yet be parted. With care and grief I am opprest, and I am discontented, Sorrow is lodged in my Breast, my Youthful life lamented: How did I vainly spend my time, tho' Riches still increased, And played the Wanton in my prime, but now my comfort's ceased. Well, thou hast laid up Riches store, to serve thee when afflicted, And yet doth carp and crave for more, thou cans't not contradict it: But let enough thy mind suffice since Fortune frowns upon thee, Now shew thyself discreet and wise, or else what will come on thee? Could I but safely get to France, with all my Gold and Treasure, Then would I briskly sing and dance, and Riot beyond measure; But I am crost in my design, which greatly doth torment me, And 'tis in vain for to repine, what Plagues hath Heaven sent me. Madam I fear it will grow worse, with patience strive to bear it, And since you must unstring your purse, for it now be prepared: Your debts in England must be paid believe me what I tell ye, And thereat be not dismaied, but be advised by Nelly.
FINIS.
It will be seen by the foregoing supposed portraits of Nell Gwynne and the Duchess of Portsmouth (which, by the way, do plenty of duty in other ballads) that the patching of this age among women was in somewhat fantastic form, such a patch as a coach and four not being unknown; but few know that the mercers (or linen-drapers, as we now call them) patched themselves in order to show the effect to their fair customers. The annexed example shows one who holds a lady's vizard, or mask, for they did not then wear veils, which are quite a modern invention, together with a feather-fan and some ribands, or, as the frontispiece of the book records, divulging the secrets of the toilet.
Here be your new Fashions Mistris.
[74.]Here's black Bags, Ribons, Copper Laces, Paintings, and beauty spots for faces? Masques, and Fans you here may have Taffity Gownes and Scarfes most brave Curled haire, and crisped Locks. Aprons white, and Holland Smocks: All sort of powders here are sold To please all People young and old. Then come my Customers touch and try, Behold and see, draw forth and buy.
To one that desired me not to name him.
[70.]Be safe, nor feare thy selfe so good a fame, That, any way, my booke should speake thy name: For, if thou shame, ranck'd with my friends, to goe, I am more asham'd to have thee thought my foe.
[4.] A Scholar meeting a Countreyman upon the Road rid up very briskly to him; but the Countreyman, out of respect to him was turning off his Horse to give him the Road, when the Scholar, laying his Hand upon his Sword, said, 'Tis well you gave me the Way, or I'd—— What wou'd you have done? said the Countreyman, holding up his Club at him—— Given it to you, Sir, says he, pulling off his Hat to him.
[17.] One wondred there was so many Pick pockets about London, seeing there's a Watch at every corner: Pah, says another, they'd as willingly meet with a watch as any thing else.
[5.]More dew the Mercer, with a kinde salute, Would needs intreate my custome for a suit: Here Sir, quoth he, for Sattins, Velvets call, What e're you please, I'le take your word for all. I thank'd, took, gave my word; say then, Am I at all indebted to this man?
[61.] A mad young Gallant, having rid as he feared, out of his way, overtook a blunt Country fellow, and asked him, which was the way to Salesbury? The Country man, intending not only to set him right: but withall to know whether or no he had committed any error in his way thither, asked him as the manner is, from whence he came, to which the surly Gallant answered, Why what is that to you, from whence I came? You say true Master, quoth the Bumkin, It is nothing to me from whence you come, nor whether you goe. So he walkt away with his hands coupled behind him, and left the gentle fool to study out his way to Salesbury.
... Thus were these Compositions liked and approved by all, and they were the fittest for the Actors to represent, there being little Cost in Cloaths, which often were in great danger to be seized by the then Souldiers, who, as the Poet sayes, Enter the Red Coat, Exit Hat and Cloak, was very true, not only in the Audience, but the Actors too, were commonly, not only strip'd, but many times imprisoned, till they paid such Ransom as the Souldiers would impose upon them; so that it was hazardous to Act any thing that required any good Cloaths, instead of which painted Cloath many times served the turn to represent Rich Habits ... and this painting puts me in mind of a piece I once saw in a Country Inn, where was, with the best skill of the Workman represented King Pharaoh with Moses and Aaron, and some others, to explain which figures, was added this piece of Poetry
Here Pharaoh with his Goggle Eyes does stare on The High Priest Moses, with the Prophet Aaron. Why, what a Rascal Was he that would not let the People go to eat the Phascal.
The Painting was in every wayes as defective and lame as the Poetry, for I believe he who pictured King Pharaoh, had never seen a King in his life, for all the Majesty he was represented with was goggle Eyes, that his Picture might be answerable to the Verse."
We see by the above extract that much was not expected in a Droll; and, verily, few could have been disappointed. To modern taste the humour of the majority is too coarse; and, therefore, I have been obliged to take, as an exemplar, the most innocent of its class.