Act 2 — Scene II. Before Gloucester's castle.
Reading edition
Enter Kent and Oswald, severally.[3164]
Osw. Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?[3165][3166] Kent. Ay. Osw. Where may we set our horses? Kent. I' the mire.[3167] Osw. Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.[3168] 5 Kent. I love thee not. Osw. Why then I care not for thee. Kent. If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make[3169] thee care for me. Osw. Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not. 10 Kent. Fellow, I know thee. Osw. What dost thou know me for? Kent. A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound,[3170] filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking[3171] 15 knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical[3172] rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a[3173] bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into[3174] 20 clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy[3175] addition. Osw. Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to[3176] rail on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee![3177] Kent. What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny 25 thou knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up[3178][3179] thy heels and beat thee before the king? Draw, you rogue:[3179] for, though it be night, yet the moon shines; I'll make a[3180] sop o' the moonshine of you: draw, you whoreson cullionly[3181] barber-monger, draw. [Drawing his sword.[3182] 30 Osw. Away! I have nothing to do with thee. Kent. Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against[3183] the king, and take vanity the puppet's part against the royalty of her father: draw, you rogue, or I'll so carbonado[3184] your shanks: draw, you rascal; come your ways.[3185] 35 Osw. Help, ho! murder! help! Kent. Strike, you slave; stand, rogue; stand, you neat[3186] slave, strike. [Beating him.[3187] Osw. Help, ho! murder! murder!
Enter Edmund, with his rapier drawn, Cornwall, Regan, Gloucester, and Servants.[3188]
Edm. How now! What's the matter? [Parting them.[3189][3190][3191] 40 Kent. With you, goodman boy, an you please: come,[3192] I'll flesh you; come on, young master.[3193] Glou. Weapons! arms! What's the matter here?[3194] Corn. Keep peace, upon your lives;[3195] He dies that strikes again. What is the matter?[3195][3196] 45 Reg. The messengers from our sister and the king.[3197] Corn. What is your difference? speak.[3198] Osw. I am scarce in breath, my lord. Kent. No marvel, you have so bestirred your valour.[3199] You cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a tailor made[3199][3200] 50 thee.[3199] Corn. Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man?[3199][3201] Kent. Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or a painter[3202] could not have made him so ill, though he had been but[3203] two hours at the trade.[3204] 55 Corn. Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?[3205] Osw. This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared[3206] at suit of his gray beard,—[3207] Kent. Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter![3208] My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted[3209] 60 villain into mortar, and daub the walls of a jakes[3210] with him. Spare my gray beard, you wagtail?[3211] Corn. Peace, sirrah![3212][3213] You beastly knave, know you no reverence?[3212][3214] Kent. Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege.[3215] 65 Corn. Why art thou angry? Kent. That such a slave as this should wear a sword, Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,[3216] Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain[3217] Which are too intrinse to unloose; smooth every passion[3218] 70 That in the natures of their lords rebel;[3219] Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods;[3220] Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks[3221] With every gale and vary of their masters,[3222] Knowing nought, like dogs, but following.[3223][3224] 75 A plague upon your epileptic visage![3223] Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?[3223][3225] Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain,[3226] I'ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot.[3227] Corn. What, art thou mad, old fellow?[3228] 80 Glou. How fell you out? say that.[3228][3229] Kent. No contraries hold more antipathy Than I and such a knave. Corn. Why dost thou call him knave? What is his fault?[3230] Kent. His countenance likes me not. 85 Corn. No more perchance does mine, nor his, nor hers.[3231] Kent. Sir, 'tis my occupation to be plain: I have seen better faces in my time Than stands on any shoulders that I see[3232] Before me at this instant. Corn. This is some fellow,[3233][3234] 90 Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect[3233] A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb[3233][3235] Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he,—[3233][3236] An honest mind and plain,—he must speak truth![3233][3237] An they will take it, so; if not, he's plain.[3233][3238] 95 These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness[3233][3239] Harbour more craft and more corrupter ends[3233][3240] Than twenty silly ducking observants[3233][3241] That stretch their duties nicely.[3233] Kent. Sir, in good faith, in sincere verity,[3242] 100 Under the allowance of your great aspect,[3243] Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire On flickering Phœbus' front,— Corn. What mean'st by this?[3244] Kent. To go out of my dialect, which you discommend[3245] so much. I know, sir, I am no flatterer: he that beguiled[3246] 105 you in a plain accent was a plain knave; which, for my part, I will not be, though I should win your displeasure to[3247] entreat me to't.[3247][3248] Corn. What was the offence you gave him?[3249] Osw. I never gave him any:[3250][3251] 110 It pleased the king his master very late[3251][3252] To strike at me, upon his misconstruction;[3251][3253] When he, conjunct, and flattering his displeasure,[3254] Tripp'd me behind; being down, insulted, rail'd, And put upon him such a deal of man,[3255] 115 That worthied him, got praises of the king[3255] For him attempting who was self-subdued; And in the fleshment of this dread exploit[3256] Drew on me here again.[3257] Kent. None of these rogues and cowards[3258] But Ajax is their fool.[3258][3259] Corn. Fetch forth the stocks! 120 You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart,[3260] We'll teach you—[3261] Kent. Sir, I am too old to learn:[3262] Call not your stocks for me: I serve the king,[3262] On whose employment I was sent to you:[3262][3263] You shall do small respect, show too bold malice[3264] 125 Against the grace and person of my master, Stocking his messenger.[3265] Corn. Fetch forth the stocks! As I have life and honour,[3266][3267] There shall he sit till noon.[3266] Reg. Till noon! till night, my lord, and all night too.[3268] 130 Kent. Why, madam, if I were your father's dog,[3269] You should not use me so.[3269][3270] Reg. Sir, being his knave, I will. Corn. This is a fellow of the self-same colour[3271] Our sister speaks of. Come, bring away the stocks!
[Stocks brought out.[3272]
Glou. Let me beseech your grace not to do so: 135 His fault is much, and the good king his master[3273] Will check him for't: your purposed low correction[3273] Is such as basest and contemned'st wretches[3273][3274] For pilferings and most common trespasses[3273] Are punish'd with: the king must take it ill,[3273] 140 That he, so slightly valued in his messenger,[3273][3275] Should have him thus restrain'd.[3273][3275] Corn. I'll answer that. Reg. My sister may receive it much more worse,[3276] To have her gentleman abused, assaulted,[3277] For following her affairs. Put in his legs.[3278] 145
[Kent is put in the stocks.[3279]
Come, my good lord, away. [Exeunt all but Gloucester and Kent.[3280] Glou. I am sorry for thee, friend; 'tis the duke's pleasure,[3281] Whose disposition, all the world well knows, Will not be rubb'd nor stopp'd: I'll entreat for thee.[3282] Kent. Pray, do not, sir: I have watch'd and travell'd hard;[3283] 150 Some time I shall sleep out, the rest I'll whistle.[3284] A good man's fortune may grow out at heels: Give you good morrow! Glou. The duke's to blame in this; 'twill be ill taken.
[Exit.[3285]
Kent. Good king, that must approve the common saw, 155 Thou out of heaven's benediction comest[3286] To the warm sun! Approach, thou beacon to this under globe,[3287][3288] That by thy comfortable beams I may[3287] Peruse this letter! Nothing almost sees miracles[3287][3289] 160 But misery: I know 'tis from Cordelia,[3287][3290] Who hath most fortunately been inform'd[3287][3291] Of my obscured course; and shall find time[3287][3292][3293] From this enormous state, seeking to give[3287][3293][3294] Losses their remedies. All weary and o'er-watch'd,[3287][3295] 165 Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold[3296] This shameful lodging.[3297] Fortune, good night: smile once more; turn thy wheel![3297]
[Sleeps.[3298]