SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD RECIPES FOR VEGETARIANS

HAY A-LA-MODE Take a pound of best timothy and soak it over night in fresh brine. Peel carefully and place it in a vegetable ivory saucepan. Add the yolk of an egg-plant and stir dreamily over an electric-fan till it disappears. Serve it right. NUT CUTLET Procure two dozen new nuts from any hardware shop. Grind them into a paste of about the consistency of the average politician. Over this pour a little Standard Oil from which the dividends have been removed, and stir briskly with a subp[oe]na till the oil begins to run; pour off, strain, and beat the paste with an axe until it looks and tastes like a veal cutlet. IMITATION POTTED HARE Take a false hare and pot it. This will be potted imitation hare, to be used for decorative purposes only. STEWED RUBBER PLANT Cut the plant into rubber bands, add a pinch of rubber cement and beat the whole mixture to beat the band until it will stretch without breaking. This rule is elastic. Ticker Note: Bull movements are carefully watched in Mexico and Spain. Fashion Note: Many a hose is worn to be seen.

SUNDAY(1,10,000 B.C.) Aphrodite born from the "foam of the sea."

(1 A.D.) "Katzenjammer" born from the foam of too many "schooners."

MONDAY

TUESDAYGeneral opening of Public Schools.

General opening of Oysters.

WEDNESDAY(1777) Brandywine proves a bad mixture for the colonial troops.

THURSDAY

FRIDAY(Sept. 15, 1693) Public lotteries established in England. Marriage encouraged.

SATURDAY

SEPTEMBER

That love is blind accounts for so many miscues.