APPROPRIATE SALUTATIONS
Reading edition
To the fireman: Go to blazes! To the butcher: May you never make a miss-steak in your endeavor to make both ends meat! To the baker: May you always have the dough, not too much crust, and the means to loaf whenever you wish to! To the spinster: May you ever be the matchless but not the mateless woman you are now! To the young physician: May you wait, like Patience on a monument, till finally you shall have lots of monuments on your patients! To the seamstress: May life always seam sew-sew in your hemmysphere! To the dentist: May you always enjoy a pull and be able to fill many an aching void and long-felt want! To the poet: May you have many more verses than reverses. Health Hint: Many are cold, but few are frozen.
SUNDAYA GREAT JAG
A man may think he's a terror to drink When he really is nothing to brag on, For it's true, we infer, that a big chestnut burr Gets the awfullest, all-around jag on.
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY(6,99,950 B.C.) Eve appears in a peek-a-boo waist.
THURSDAY
FRIDAY(1509) Henry VIII began to get married.
SATURDAY
AUGUST
A man admires a woman for what he thinks she is; a woman admires a man for what she thinks he has.