HELPFUL HINT FOR SEPTEMBER
Reading edition
Excuse us, but we will not suggest any method for removing a coat of tan. We are assured on the best authority that Alice blue, radium gray, and fluorescent green will be the popular shades this summer. However, if yours is a tan coat, unbutton it and pull your arms out first; it will then come off easily enough. Is the Sun Inhabited? An astronomer from Indiana claims to have discovered that the Sun is inhabited. The Public will probably hoot at this just as it hooted at Columbus when he said the Earth was round. The Public also hooted at wireless telegraphy in its early stages. The Public is now hooting at the idea of airships ever becoming common carriers. The Sun may be inhabited, who knows? This astronomer from Indiana may not be as buggy as he really appears at first blush. The Sun is hot, 'tis true, but Hell is also hot. And Hell is inhabited. Financial Note: When in doubt, do the first one you come across. Marine Note: High rollers don't always come in from the sea.
SUNDAYIT HEADS THE LIST
In a book showing all Of the gowns great and small Wives have worn since this old world begun, That first dress of Eve's, Which she fashioned of leaves, Should be, properly, labeled "Fig. 1."
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY(1848) Patent issued for converting fine coal into solid lumps.
(1906) Patent sought for converting fine poetry into filthy lucre.
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SEPTEMBER
It's a long lane that hides no lovers.