ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS
Reading edition
DIFFIDENT—The proper way to handle a lobster is to have him arrested. ECONOMY—We know of no place where toothbrushes are laundered. HISTORIAN—You are right. Noah was the largest individual holder of watered stock during his age. SCIENCE—Yes, ice is slippery on both sides. WELL WISHER—We return the $5 note. We cannot accept counterfeit money from admirers. SPORT—You lose. Adam was born an orphan. Recent Inventions A charming addition to the safety razor is a little fountain attachment that sprinkles the user with Bay Rum. Up-to-date bachelors are rapidly adopting the new unlosable collar button. This collar button is made of rubber with a little electric light attachment and is guaranteed to bounce for five minutes. Every time it strikes the floor, the impact causes the light to shine brilliantly, thus making it impossible to lose sight of even in the darkest corner. A New Year Thought: Now is the time to take your pen in hand—to meditate, to practise faithfully until you write with ease, one—nine—naught—EIGHT. To Develop the Calf: Permit it to remain with its mother for two or three weeks. Then teach it to drink milk out of pail.
SUNDAY(1278) Ottocar died in Vienna.
(1895) Automobile born in France.
MONDAY
TUESDAY(1373) Leopold, archduke of Austria, named his son Rupert for the benefit of modern novelists.
WEDNESDAY(1340) Cannon first used in England.
(1906) Roosevelt uses Cannon in the House of Representatives.
THURSDAYCORRESPONDENT ANSWERED
Editor Foolish Almanack:— What ails my hens? Every morning I find two or three lying on their backs, toes curled up, never to rise again. CONSTANT READER. Skowhegan, Me.
Answer:—Your hens are dead.—Ed.
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
DECEMBER
Health Hint:—If you have a "broken bone" try to save the change.
Number 1 in the "Foolish Series"
The Foolish Dictionary
by GIDEON WURDZ
Author of "Foolish Finance"
Over fifty illustrations by Wallace Goldsmith.
More than one hundred thousand copies of "The Foolish Dictionary" have been sold, and throughout the country its seven hundred witty definitions are quoted in every walk of life.
It is a book for everybody who loves fun in words—in fact it's
A DICTIONARY of HUMOR
Uniform with "Foolish Finance." Cloth Price 75c
JOHN W. LUCE and COMPANY BOSTON and LONDON
Number 3 in the "Foolish Series"
Foolish Finance
by GIDEON WURDZ
Author of "The Foolish Dictionary"
A mirthful book on all branches of finance, familiarizing the uninitiated with the funny side of losing money, while making Wall Street see the joke on themselves.
"The Author aims his witty shafts at the monopolists, railroads, banks, mines, insurance companies, and on every page there is something to provoke a smile."—Boston Herald
Over fifty characteristically funny illustrations by Wallace Goldsmith.
Uniform with "Foolish Dictionary". Cloth Price 75c
JOHN W. LUCE and COMPANY BOSTON and LONDON
Containing a Wealth of Nimble Jest
Foolish Etiquette
written by that Brilliant Coterie so Giddy-on-Words, whose contributions to "The Foolish Dictionary," "Foolish Finance" and "The Foolish Almanac" have made those books nationally notable, here appearing under the pseudonym of
O. B. HAYVE
Over 100 Characteristic Illustrations by Wallace Goldsmith whose humorous sketches are such an important feature of The Foolish Series.
"Even more entertaining, we think, than either of its predecessors."—Boston Advertiser, June 25, 1906.
"Wit and cleverness."—N.Y. Tribune, June 30, 1906.
Cloth, uniform with other books in this series, 7-3/8 x 4-1/2. 160 Pages. Price 75c
JOHN W. LUCE and COMPANY BOSTON and LONDON
ADDITIONAL TITLES from JOHN W. LUCE & COMPANY'S LIST
THE GIRL IN WAITING, by Archibald Eyre. "A very unusual novel."[$1.50
ALL BY WIRE A love episode told in 100 fac-simile telegrams. [$1.00
THE MISFIT CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS, by the Consolation Club. A Christmas Story, beautifully illustrated by Wallace Goldsmith.[$1.25
THE CANTERVILLE GHOST, by Wilde. An inimitable satire, and grotesquely amusing. Illustrated by Wallace Goldsmith.[$1.00
A BACHELOR'S CUPBOARD, by A. Lyman Phillips. Everything a bachelor should know.[$1.00
THE FOOLISH ALMANACK (1st). If you like one you will like the other.[$ .75
LOVE LETTERS OF HENRY VIII to Anne Boleyn. Genuine copies, exquisitely bound in full leather.[$1.50
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW; HIS PLAYS. A critical analysis by Henry L. Mencken.[$1.00
ON GOING TO CHURCH, by George Bernard Shaw.[$ .75
EPIGRAMS AND APHORISMS, by Oscar Wilde. Sparks from a brilliant mind.[$1.50
Any of the above books will be sent by the publishers, postage prepaid, on receipt of price.