Volume 25 — THE BARRISTERS OF ENGLAND!
Reading edition
The Barristers of England, how hungrily they stand About the Hall of Westminster, with wig, and gown, and band; With brief bag full of dummies and fee book full of oughts, Result of the establishment of the New County Courts. The Barristers of England, how listlessly they sit, Expending on each other a small amount of wit; Without the opportunity of doing something worse, By talking nonsense at the cost of some poor client's purse. The Barristers of England, how when they get a cause, They (some of them) will disregard all gentlemanly laws; And bullying the witnesses upon the adverse side, Will do their very utmost the honest truth to hide. The Barristers of England, how with sang froid sublime, They undertake to advocate two causes at one time; And when they find it is a thing impossible to do, They throw one client overboard, but take the fees of two. The Barristers of England, how rarely they refuse, The party they appear against with coarseness to abuse; Feeling a noble consciousness no punishment can reach The vulgar ribaldry they call the "privilege of speech." The Barristers of England, how often they degrade An honourable calling to a pettifogging trade, And show how very slight the lines of separation are, Between the cabman's license, and the "licence of the Bar." The Barristers of England, how, if they owe a grudge, They try with insolence to goad a poor Assistant-Judge; And after having bullied him, their bold imposture clench By talking of their high respect for the Judicial Bench. The Barristers of England, how sad it is to feel That rant will pass for energy, and bluster goes for zeal; But 'tis a consolation that 'mid their ranks there are Sufficient gentlemen to save the credit of the Bar.
DONE BROWN AGAIN.
"Mr. Punch,—When will Sivilians learn to hold their assinine tongs about millitary affairs, I should like to know? Just read this. It is in your preshous Times this morning.
'The Indian Sepoys are very fair troops.'
"Now, Sir, I ask you, is such blazing ignoranse to be tollerated? I have served in India, Sir, and the Seapoys are all the brownest beggars you ever saw. Mahoggany's a fool to them. And yet the Times pretends to tell officers and gentlemen their duty. By showing wich up will oblige, Mr. Punch,
"Your Obedient Servant,
"Pall Mall."
"A Cavalry Officer."
Nesselrode Pudding.
Take as much gammon as will lie in the compass of a diplomatic circle; and mince along with butter, sugar, and pigeons' milk in equal quantities. Add olives, well bruised, in sufficient proportion to flavour; and when thoroughly incorporated, mix the whole with puff paste and flummery made into a mess. Mould in a twisted shape, and plunge into hot water, where allow it to bubble, the longer the better. Turn it out when thoroughly done, and serve cool with Sauce à la Tartuffe.
MUNICIPAL LABOURS.
That popular work, "The Stomach and Its Difficulties," gives the most accurate notion of the exertions which have been made by the Corporation of London.
Overflowing with Extravagance.—A good November Fog is the cause of poor authors being extremely extravagant, for it forces them to burn "the midnight oil" at noonday.