Volume 25 — A HINT TO BELGRAVIA, TYBURNIA, CADOGANIA, &c. &c.
Reading edition
We hint to noblemen and gentlemen of (very) independent property, before rushing out of town, that they should think of the numerous little bills they leave behind them. They would not enjoy themselves any the less if they discharged those little bills instead of making their tradesmen wait six long empty-pocketed mouths for them. The probability is, even, they would enjoy themselves all the more, knowing that they had left a clear coast behind them, where they could always land with safety whenever they wanted to escape from foreign pirates, and continental sharks, sea and land robbers. We beg, (merely moved by a charitable motive to add to their pleasures,) to draw up the following advertisement for them, on the plan of the one issued at the end of the season by the Directors of the Covent Garden Italian Opera:—
ALL persons having claims for the last season upon the Right Honourable Lord Tom Noddy are requested, before he leaves for Baden-Baden, Homburg, Wiesbaden, &c., where he is going to take the usual annual course of rouge et-noir and the mineral waters, to send in their accounts immediately, and to apply on Saturday, the 27th inst., when they will be paid in full, as the Right Honourable Lord Tom Noddy has no desire to increase the ducal revenues of any German principality with money that belongs properly to his creditors.—239, Belgrave Square.
Too Modest by Half.
Most of the illuminations in honour of the Emperor's fête at Paris, displayed the glittering initials, N. E. This was only telling half the truth. It wanted the addition of R. O. for the French nation clearly to understand in whose honour the fête was given.
The Peaceful Mood.
(As gone through by a real Member of the Peace Society.)
I shall, and will, fight Thou shalt, and wilt, fight He, or she, shall, and will, fight We shall, and will, fight You, or ye, shall, and will, fight They shall, and will, fight.
[To be repeated as often as the probability of a War springs up.
Plain upon the Face of it.—Many persons are led by their vices as there are many who are led by their noses: but there are a far greater number who follow both without any leading at all.
Another Dietetic Rule of Conduct.—Never to send a servant out on an errand after dinner, but always a little before. It is extraordinary how very quick, in the latter case, he (or she) will return.