Volume 25 — CURE FOR SMOKY CHILDREN

"My dear Mr. Punch,

"My son Henry—who promised to be such a good young man—has, I am sorry to say, acquired that nasty dirty habit of smoking tobacco, in which he indulges from morning till night: such a pity at his time of life! for he is not of age yet. In the Times the other day I saw a letter about the Smoke Nuisance, proposing to cure it by 'very frequent feeding in small quantities, and a reward for no smoke.' Do you think, now, it would be possible to break Henry of smoking by continually tempting him with little bits of something very nice to eat?—the worst of it is that filthy practice has quite spoiled his taste for cake and tart. Reward for no smoke I have offered in vain. I should be so much obliged to you, Mr. Punch, if you could suggest any plan by which I could manage to wean my child from his cigars by frequent feeding in small quantities; indeed, indeed, it would be quite a charity to

"A Mother."

⁂The frequent feeding in small quantities might, in all probability, be accomplished easily enough. An occasional kidney—if devilled, so much the better; a broiled bone now and then; from time to time a sausage; an anchovy toast after dessert: later in the evening, perhaps, a poached egg, a Welsh rabbit, or a few scalloped oysters: these and similar delicacies substituted for pastry, would most likely very much simplify the difficulty of getting Henry to take small quantities of food at short intervals. But experience unfortunately proves that such a system of diet is not generally accompanied, on the part of young men, by a discontinuance of smoking; whilst it is almost always attended with an excessive consumption of malt liquor.—Punch.

BLIND CHARITY.

Infallibility at King's College.

The Council of King's College have dismissed Professor Maurice from his lectureships, because those theologians disapprove of his views on a question which is left open by their common Church. The point in dispute was not settled at the first Council of Nice; but it has now been decided by a modern Council of Nice Men.

FAS AB HOSTE DOCERI.

A leading journal says that the Czar, in calculating upon crushing Turkey, "reckoned without his host." Rather, we should say, he reckoned upon his host; but a few more defeats, and Nicholas will be driven to the solitary reckoning in question, and be unable to discharge the shot.

The Dearness of Bread.—A Political Baker attributes this to the war in Turkey, for he says "it is all owing to the rise in the (y)East."

The Last Job for the City.—Having tolled every thing else that they can the civic body have now only to toll their own knell.

Master Tom (to Old Lady who is very nervous about fire). "It's all right, Granma! My candle is out. I'm only smoking my Usual Weed!"