Chapter III

Lyceum Hall blazed with beauty and tallow candles. All the élite of Tiptop were on tiptoe with expectation. After a long and rather stormy discussion, it was decided that Miss Pipkin should dance first with Mr. Lumpkin.

Eight o’clock came, and the distinguished gentleman did not make his appearance. The less pretentious portion of the party began to grow impatient. They cared nothing at all about Mr. Lumpkin; they came to have a good time, and were bound to enjoy themselves, whether Mr. Lumpkin and his admirers did or not.

Joe Maple began to get a little mad. He came with Lizzie Lee, had paid for his ticket, and—as he expressed it to Mr. Adolphus Pipkin—he’d like to know why they couldn’t go ahead without Mr. Lumpkin.

“Hang me if I stay or pay for my ticket if they don’t put her through pretty soon,” said he.

“What are they waiting for?” asked a stranger by his side.

“For Mr. Stumpkins, or some sich name; but I ain’t a-going to wait any longer. What do you say, boys—shall we back out if they don’t go ahead?”

“Sartin; go to the managers, Joe; we’ll back you up in any thing you say,” replied several.

“They ought to go on,” suggested the stranger.

“Tew be sure they had; so here goes for the managers. They are so darn stuck up, they seem to think we ain’t nobody; we’ll larn ’em better;” and Joe Maple marched for the knot of gentlemen who had charge of the arrangements, and who were wondering why the distinguished guest of the evening did not appear.

At this moment Squire Rogers entered the hall. In reply to the managers’ queries, he said Mr. Lumpkin had left his house half an hour before, promising to meet him at the festive scene.

Joe Maple said the “boys” meant to have a time, any how, and he insisted that the dance should be immediately commenced, or the “boys” would make tracks for “hum.”

Joe Maple’s party were in a very decided majority, and their appeal was irresistible. The band, who were prepared to play “Hail Columbia” for the “grand entrée” of Mr. Lumpkin, were directed to commence a cotillon.

The sets were nearly formed, when the stranger who had before questioned him, requested Joe Maple to introduce him to a partner.

“Sartin,” said Joe, who was a good-natured, clever fellow; “but I don’t know ye. What’s your name?”

The stranger hesitated a moment, and then said it was Smith.

“You don’t say so! You ain’t the Smith that’s just moved on to the Pelatiah Hopkins place?”

“Just so,” replied Mr. Smith.

“Well, now, I am glad to see you;” and Joe Maple cast about him for a suitable partner for the new proprietor.

Joe was always up to some mischief, and it seemed as though the very demon of mischief ruled him when he glanced at Miss Araminta Pipkin, who was impatiently waiting the arrival of her distinguished partner.

Now Mr. Smith was certainly not very prepossessing in his external appearance. He looked very much like a country shopkeeper dressed up in his Sunday clothes, and Joe Maple was perfectly satisfied that Miss Pipkin would never condescend to dance with him. But there was a prospect of some sport, and though he and the amiable leader of the Tiptop ton were not on speaking terms, he determined to present Mr. Smith.

“I want to introduce Mr. Smith to you,” said Joe, mustering his most elegant expression. “He wants a pardner.”

Miss Pipkin addressed a languid sneer, first to Joe Maple, and then to Mr. Smith.

“No, I thank ye,” replied she, briefly, turning away her head from the suppliant at her feet.

“Hadn’t ye better? This is Mr. Smith, that has bought the Pelatiah Hopkins place.”

“You have my answer; I dance with Mr. Lumpkin;” and Miss Pipkin looked unutterably scornful at the thought of descending from a member of Congress even to the proprietor of the Hopkins place.

“That is very plain speech,” suggested Mr. Smith.

“Short as pie-crust; she’s right down smart. But, Mr. Smith, as you have bought that place, you shall dance with the poottiest gal in the hall—that’s Lizzie Lee. She engaged to dance with me——”

“I could not think of disappointing you,” interposed Mr. Smith.

“I don’t stand on trifles. The fact is, Lizzie and I understand one another pootty well.”

Mr. Smith was introduced to Lizzie, who was all the enamoured Mr. Maple had said she was.

But the sets were all full save one, in which had been reserved a place for Mr. Lumpkin and the sighing Miss Pipkin, who fondly hoped to make a conquest of the distinguished bachelor’s heart.

This set was at the head of the hall, and of course the three couples which now composed it were the cream of the aristocracy. Mr. Lumpkin had not come and Joe, who was all attention to the new owner of the Hopkins place, directed Mr. Smith to lead his partner to this vacant position.

Mr. Smith did so. He was perfectly innocent of any intention to offend, and smilingly bowed to his pretty partner.

The three couples were aghast at the coolness and effrontery of Mr. Smith. Mr. Adolphus Pipkin felt outraged, and stepped forward to remonstrate, suggesting to the new lord of the Hopkins place that the head of the hall had been reserved for Mr. Lumpkin and the accomplished Miss Pipkin.

“When he comes, I will go,” replied Mr. Smith, quietly.

“How rude!” exclaimed Miss Punkinton.

“What horrible impoliteness!” added Miss Pilkinton.

“Brought up in the woods,” suggested Miss Smythson.

“I declare he smells of the cow yard,” sneered Miss Punkinton.

“Will you abandon your position?” asked Mr. Pipkin, fiercely.

“No sir,” replied Smith, calmly.

“On with the dance!” shouted Joe Maple.

And on it went, for the leader of the band, knowing who his strongest friends were, started the music.

“Sir, you are no gentleman,” continued Mr. Pipkin.

“First couple, lead up to the right!” shouted the caller.

Mr. Smith and Lizzie, being the first couple, led up to the right, and in doing so, had nearly borne the enraged Mr. Pipkin under their feet.

“Balancez!”

“I demand satisfaction, sir.”

“Chassez to the right!”

Mr. Smith danced furiously; but the rest of the set, horrified at the idea of dancing with such company as the owner of the Hopkins place and Lizzie Lee, abandoned their positions. Joe Maple instantly filled them again, and things went on as merrily as a marriage bell.

Squire Rogers was repeatedly importuned for information in regard to the Hon. Mr. Lumpkin, whose consistency seemed quite as prominent as it had ever been before. The squire assured them he would come—that it was only ten o’clock, and genteel folks never appeared till a late hour.

The Hon. Mr. Lumpkin did come at last.