Act 5 — Scene III. Gloucestershire. Shallow's orchard.
Reading edition
Enter Falstaff, Shallow, Silence, Davy, Bardolph, and the Page.[4349]
Shal. Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an[4350] arbour, we will eat a last year's pippin of my own graffing,[4351] with a dish of caraways, and so forth: come, cousin Silence: and then to bed. Fal. 'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and[4352]5 a rich. Shal. Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir John: marry, good air. Spread, Davy; spread, Davy: well said, Davy.[4353] Fal. This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your10 serving-man and your husband.[4354] Shal. A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John: by the mass, I have drunk too much sack at[4355] supper: a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit down: come, cousin.15 Sil. Ah, sirrah! quoth-a, we shall[4356][4357] Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer,[4357][4358][4359] [Singing. And praise God for the merry year;[4358][4360] When flesh is cheap and females dear,[4358][4361] And lusty lads roam here and there[4358][4362]20 So merrily,[4358][4363] And ever among so merrily.[4358] Fal. There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence,[4364] I'll give you a health for that anon.[4365] Shal. Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.[4366]25 Davy. Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit. Proface![4367] What you want in meat, we'll have in drink: but[4368] you must bear; the heart's all. [Exit.[4369] Shal. Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little30 soldier there, be merry. Sil. Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;[4359][4370][4371] [Singing. For women are shrews, both short and tall:[4370] 'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all,[4370][4372] And welcome merry Shrove-tide.[4370]35 Be merry, be merry.[4370][4373] Fal. I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.[4374] Sil. Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.40
Re-enter Davy.[4375]
Davy. There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
[To Bardolph.[4376]
Shal. Davy! Davy. Your worship! I'll be with you straight [to[4377] Bardolph.] A cup of wine, sir?[4377] Sil. A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,[4359][4378] [Singing.45 And drink unto the leman mine;[4378] And a merry heart lives long-a.[4378] Fal. Well said, Master Silence. Sil. An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet[4379][4380] o' the night.[4380][4381]50 Fal. Health and long life to you, Master Silence. Sil. Fill the cup, and let it come;[4382][4383] [Singing. I'll pledge you a mile to the bottom.[4382][4384] Shal. Honest Bardolph, welcome: if thou wantest any thing, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my55 little tiny thief [to the Page], and welcome indeed too. I'll[4385] drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the cavaleros about[4386] London. Davy. I hope to see London once ere I die.[4387] Bard. An I might see you there, Davy,—[4388]60 Shal. By the mass, you'll crack a quart together, ha![4389] will you not, Master Bardolph? Bard. Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.[4390] Shal. By God's liggens, I thank thee: the knave will[4391] stick by thee, I can assure thee that. A' will not out; he[4392][4393]65 is true bred.[4393] Bard. And I'll stick by him, sir. Shal. Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing: be merry. [Knocking within.] Look who's at door there, ho![4394] who knocks? [Exit Davy.[4395]70 Fal. Why, now you have done me right.[4396]
[To Silence, seeing him take off a bumper.
Sil. Do me right.[4397][4398] [Singing. And dub me knight:[4397] Samingo.[4397] Is't not so?75 Fal. 'Tis so. Sil. Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.[4399]
Re-enter Davy.[4400]
Davy. An't please your worship, there's one Pistol[4401] come from the court with news.80 Fal. From the court! let him come in.
Enter Pistol.[4402]
How now, Pistol![4403] Pist. Sir John, God save you![4404] Fal. What wind blew you hither, Pistol? Pist. Not the ill wind which blows no man to good.[4405]85 Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.[4406] Sil. By'r lady, I think a' be, but goodman Puff of[4407] Barson.[4408] Pist. Puff!90 Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base![4409] Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,[4409] And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,[4409][4410] And tidings do I bring and lucky joys[4409] And golden times and happy news of price.[4409]95 Fal. I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this[4411] world. Pist. A foutre for the world and worldlings base![4412][4413] I speak of Africa and golden joys.[4413] Fal. O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?[4413]100 Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.[4413][4414] Sil. And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.[4413][4415] [Singing. Pist. Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?[4413] And shall good news be baffled?[4413] Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.[4413][4416]105 Shal. Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.[4417] Pist. Why then, lament therefore. Shal. Give me pardon, sir: if, sir, you come with news[4418] from the court, I take it there's but two ways, either to[4419] utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir, under the king,[4420]110 in some authority. Pist. Under which king, Besonian? speak, or die.[4421] Shal. Under King Harry. Pist. Harry the fourth? or fifth? Shal. Harry the fourth. Pist. A foutre for thine office![4422] Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king;[4423]115 Harry the fifth's the man. I speak the truth:[4423] When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like[4423] The bragging Spaniard.[4423] Fal. What, is the old king dead? Pist. As nail in door: the things I speak are just.[4424]120 Fal. Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master[4425] Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,[4425] 'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.[4425] Bard. O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.[4426]125 Pist. What! I do bring good news.[4427] Fal. Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord Shallow,—be what thou wilt; I am fortune's steward—get on thy boots: we'll ride all night. O sweet[4428] Pistol! Away, Bardolph! [Exit Bard.] Come, Pistol, utter[4429]130 more to me; and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow: I know the young[4430] king is sick for me. Let us take any man's horses; the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are[4431] they that have been my friends; and woe to my lord chief-justice![4431][4432]135 Pist. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also! 'Where is the life that late I led?' say they:[4433] Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! [Exeunt.[4434]