Act 4 — Scene II. A public road near Coventry.[2935]

Fal. Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of sack: our soldiers shall march through; we'll to Sutton Co'fil' to-night.[2936] Bard. Will you give me money, captain? Fal. Lay out, lay out.5 Bard. This bottle makes an angel. Fal. An if it do, take it for thy labour; and if it[2937] make twenty, take them all; I'll answer the coinage. Bid my lieutenant Peto meet me at town's end.[2938] Bard. I will, captain: farewell. [Exit.10 Fal. If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused[2939] gurnet. I have misused the king's press damnably. I have got, in exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred[2940] and odd pounds. I press me none but good householders,[2941] yeoman's sons; inquire me out contracted bachelors,[2941]15 such as had been asked twice on the banns; such a[2942] commodity of warm slaves, as had as lieve hear the devil as a drum; such as fear the report of a caliver worse than a[2943] struck fowl or a hurt wild-duck. I pressed me none but[2944] such toasts-and-butter, with hearts in their bellies no bigger20 than pins'-heads, and they have bought out their services;[2945] and now my whole charge consists of ancients, corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of companies, slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked[2946] his sores; and such as indeed were never soldiers, but25 discarded unjust serving-men, younger sons to younger brothers, revolted tapsters and ostlers trade-fallen, the cankers[2947] of a calm world and a long peace, ten times more[2948] dishonourable ragged than an old faced ancient: and such have I, to[2949] fill up the rooms of them that have bought out their[2950]30 services, that you would think that I had a hundred and fifty[2951] tattered prodigals lately come from swine-keeping, from[2952] eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met me on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows. I'll35 not march through Coventry with them, that's flat: nay,[2953] and the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they had[2954] gyves on; for indeed I had the most of them out of prison. There's but a shirt and a half in all my company; and the[2955] half shirt is two napkins tacked together and thrown over40 the shoulders like an herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth, stolen from my host at Saint Alban's,[2956] or the red-nose innkeeper of Daventry. But that's all one;[2957] they'll find linen enough on every hedge.

Prince. How now, blown Jack! how now, quilt!45 Fal. What, Hal! how now, mad wag! what a devil dost thou in Warwickshire? My good Lord of Westmoreland, I cry you mercy: I thought your honour had already been at Shrewsbury. West. Faith, Sir John, 'tis more than time that I were50 there, and you too; but my powers are there already. The king, I can tell you, looks for us all: we must away all night.[2959] Fal. Tut, never fear me: I am as vigilant as a cat to[2960] steal cream. Prince. I think, to steal cream indeed, for thy theft55 hath already made thee butter. But tell me, Jack, whose fellows are these that come after? Fal. Mine, Hal, mine. Prince. I did never see such pitiful rascals. Fal. Tut, tut; good enough to toss; food for powder,60 food for powder; they'll fill a pit as well as better: tush,[2961] man, mortal men, mortal men. West. Ay, but, Sir John, methinks they are exceeding poor and bare, too beggarly. Fal. Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they65 had that; and for their bareness, I am sure they never learned that of me. Prince. No, I'll be sworn; unless you call three fingers on the ribs bare. But, sirrah, make haste: Percy is already[2962] in the field.70 Fal. What, is the king encamped? West. He is, Sir John: I fear we shall stay too long.[2963] Fal. Well,[2964] To the latter end of a fray and the beginning of a feast[2965] Fits a dull fighter and a keen guest.[2964] [Exeunt.75