Act 4 — SCENE III.
Reading edition
A Street.
Enter Three Creditors.
First C. I’ll wait these seven hours but I’ll see him caught.
Sec. C. Faith, so will I.
Third C. Hang him, prodigal! he’s stript of the widow.
First C. A’ my troth, she’s the wiser; she has made the happier choice: and I wonder of what stuff those widows’ hearts are made of, that will marry unfledged boys before comely thrum-chinned[115] gentlemen.
Enter Boy.
Boy. News, news, news!
First C. What, boy?
Boy. The rioter is caught.
First C. So, so, so, so! it warms me at the heart;
I love a’ life[116] to see dogs upon men.
O, here he comes.
Enter Sergeants, with Witgood in custody.
Wit. My last joy was so great, it took away the 69sense of all future afflictions. What a day is here o’ercast! how soon a black tempest rises!
First C. O, we may speak with you now, sir! what’s become of your rich widow? I think you may cast your cap at the widow, may you not, sir?
Sec. C. He a rich widow? who, a prodigal, a daily rioter, and a nightly vomiter? he a widow of account? he a hole i’ th’ counter.[117]
Wit. You do well, my masters, to tyrannise over misery, to afflict the afflicted: ’tis a custom you have here amongst you; I would wish you never leave it, and I hope you’ll do as I bid you.
First C. Come, come, sir, what say you extempore now to your bill of a hundred pound? a sweet debt for froating[118] your doublets.
Sec. C. Here’s mine of forty.
Third C. Here’s mine of fifty.
Wit. Pray, sirs,—you’ll give me breath?
First C. No, sir, we’ll keep you out of breath still; then we shall be sure you will not run away from us.
Wit. Will you but hear me speak?
Sec. C. You shall pardon us for that, sir; we know you have too fair a tongue of your own; you overcame us too lately, a shame take you! we are like to lose all that for want of witnesses: we dealt in policy then; always when we strive to be most politic we prove most coxcombs: non plus ultra 70I perceive by us, we’re not ordained to thrive by wisdom, and therefore we must be content to be tradesmen.
Wit. Give me but reasonable time, and I protest I’ll make you ample satisfaction.
First C. Do you talk of reasonable time to us?
Wit. ’Tis true, beasts know no reasonable time.
Sec. C. We must have either money or carcass.
Wit. Alas, what good will my carcass do you?
Third C. O, ’tis a secret delight we have amongst us! we that are used to keep birds in cages, have the heart to keep men in prison, I warrant you.
Wit. I perceive I must crave a little more aid from my wits: do but make shift for me this once, and I’ll forswear ever to trouble you in the like fashion hereafter; I’ll have better employment for you, and[119] I live. [Aside.]—You’ll give me leave, my masters, to make trial of my friends, and raise all means I can?
First C. That’s our desire,[120] sir.
Enter Host.
Host. Master Witgood.
Wit. O, art thou come?
Host. May I speak one word with you in private, sir?
Wit. No, by my faith, canst thou; I am in hell here, and the devils will not let me come to thee.
First C.[121] Do you call us devils? you shall find us puritans.—Bear him away; let ’em talk as they go; we’ll not stand to hear ’em.—Ah, sir, am I a devil? I shall think the better of myself as long as I live: a devil, i’faith!
[Exeunt.
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