Act 3 — SCENE II.
Reading edition
A Street: before Glister’s House.
Enter Lipsalve disguised as Gerardine, and Shrimp.
Lip. Now, mistress Maria, ward yourself: if my strong hope fail not, I shall be with you to bring——
Shr. To bring what, sir? some more o’ your kind?
Lip. Faith, boy, that’s mine aim.
Shr. I’ll be sworn, sir, you have a good loose;[273] you let fly at ’em a-pace.
Lip. I have shot fair and far off; but now I hope to hit the mark indeed.
148Shr. God save it!
Lip. But where’s the sign?
Shr. Why, there.
Lip. That’s a special thing to be observed.
Shr. I have heard talk of the Gemini: methinks, that should be a star favourable to your proceeding.
Lip. The Gemini? O, I apprehend thee: that’s because I am so like Gerardine; ha, is’t not so, boy?
Shr. As if you were spit out on’s mouth, sir; you must needs be like him, for you are both cut out of a piece. But, lord, sir, how you hunt this chase of love! are you not weary?
Lip. Indefatigable, boy, indefatigable.
Shr. Fatigable, quoth you? you may call it leanable well enough, for I am sure it is able to make a man lean.
Lip. ’Tis my vocation, boy; we must never be weary of well-doing: love’s as proper to a courtier as preciseness to a puritan.
[Maria appears above; Gerardine concealing
himself behind her.[274]
Shr. Love, subaudi lust; a punk in this place subintelligitur. [Aside.
Lip. Boy, I have spied my saint.
Shr. Then down on your knees.
Lip. Fly off, lest she take thee for my familiar.—
Save thee, sweet Maria!
Nay, wonder not (for thou thyself art wonder,)
To see this unexpected gratulation.
149Mar. Whom do I see? O, how my senses wander!
Am not I Hero? art not thou Leander?
Ger. Thou’rt in the right, sweet wench; more of that vein.
Lip. Her passion o’ercomes[275] her; ’tis the kindest soul!
O excellent device! it works, it works, boy.
Shr. It does indeed, sir, like the suds of an ale-fat or a washing-bowl.
Lip. Joy not too much; extremes are perilous.
Mar. O weather-beaten love!—Cisley, go make a fire;
Go, fetch my ladder of ropes, Leander’s come.
Lip. Mark, how prettily in her rapture she harps upon Gerardine’s travel.—
Let th’ ecstasy have end, for I am Gerardine.
Ger. The devil you are! [Aside.
Mar. Ha? let me see: my love so soon return’d?
Lip. I never travell’d farther than thine eyes;
My bruited[276] journey was a happy project
To cast a mist before thy jealous guardian,
Who now, suspectless, gives some hope t’ attain
My wish’d delight, before pursu’d in vain.
Ger. Ask if he strain’d not hard for that same project.
Mar. Has not that project overrack’d thy brain,
And spent more wit than thou hast left behind?
Shr. By this light, she flouts him. [Aside.
Lip. No, wit is infinite: I spent some brain;
Thy love did stretch my wit upon the tenters.
Ger. Then is’t like to shrink in the wetting.
[Aside.
150Mar. It cottens well;[277] it cannot choose but bear
A pretty nap: I tender thy capacity;
A comfortable caudle cherish it:
But where’s my favour that I bid thee wear
As pledge of love?
Ger. Now dost thou put him to’t;
More tenters for his wit; he’s non plus quite.
Lip. I wear it, sweet Maria, but on high days,
Preserve it from the tainting of the air—
What should I say? [Aside.]—’Tis in my t’other hose.[278]
Mar. How? in your t’other hose? he that I love
Shall wear my favour in those hose he has on.
Lip. Fiends and furies! block that I am! [Aside.
Shr. In your t’other hose?—She talked of a ladder of ropes: if she would let it down, for my life, he would hang himself in’t. [Aside.]—In your t’other hose? why, those hose are in lavender:[279] besides, they have never a codpiece; but, indeed, there needs no ivy where the wine is good: in your t’other hose?
Mar. I said you were too prodigal of wit.
Lip. Expostulate no more; grant me access,
Or else I’ll travel to the wilderness.
Mar. Your only way: go, travel till you tire;
Be rid, and let a gull discharge the hire.
Shr. Master, the doctor, the doctor!
Lip. Where? which way?
Shr. This way, that way, some way I heard him coming.
Lip. O boy, I am abused, gulled, disgraced! my credit’s cracked.
151Shr. You know that’s nothing new for a[280] courtier.
Lip. O, I shall run beside myself!
Shr. No, sir, that’s my office; I’ll run by your side.
Lip. My brain is out of temper! what shall I do?
Shr. Take her counsel, sir; get a cullis[281] to your capacity, a restorative to your reason, and a warming-pan to your wit: he comes, he comes!
Lip. Follow close, boy; let him not see us.
[Exeunt Lipsalve and Shrimp.
Enter Glister.
Gli. What, more flutterers[282] about my carrion? more battery to my walls? shall I never be rid of these petronel-flashes?[283] As for my friend Gerardine, the wind of my rage has blown him to discover countries; and let the sea purge his love away and him together,—I care not. Young wenches now are all o’ the hoigh: we that are guardians must respect more besides titles, gold lace, person, or parts; we must have lordships and manors elsewhere as well as in the man: wealth commands all; and wealth I’ll have, or else my minion shall lead apes in hell. I must after this gallant too: I’ll know his rendezvous, and what company he keeps. [Exit.
Mar. Now must we be abrupt:[284] retire, sweet friend,
152To thy small-ease:[285] what more remains to do,
We’ll consummate at our next interview.
Ger. So shall I bear my prisonment with pleasure:
Look thou but big, our[286] cruel foe will yield,
And give to Hymen th’ honour of the field.
[Exeunt above.