ACT IV. SCENE I.
Reading edition
An Apartment at Cole-Harbour.[96]
Enter Hoard, Courtesan, Lamprey, Spichcock, and Gentlemen.
First G. Join hearts, join hands,
In wedlock’s bands,
59Never to part
Till death cleave your heart.
[To Hoard] You shall forsake all other women;
[To Courtesan] You lords, knights, gentlemen, and yeomen.
What my tongue slips
Make up with your lips.
Hoa. [kisses her] Give you joy, mistress Hoard: let the kiss come about. [Knocking.
Who knocks? Convey my little pig-eater[97] out.
Luc. [within] Hoard!
Hoa. Upon my life, my adversary, gentlemen!
Luc. [within] Hoard, open the door, or we will force it ope:
Give us the widow.
Hoa. Gentlemen, keep ’em out.
60Lam. He comes upon his death that enters here.
ᚠLuc. [within] My friends, assist me!
Hoa. He has assistants, gentlemen.
Lam. Tut, nor him nor them we in this action fear.
Luc. [within] Shall I, in peace, speak one word with the widow?
Court. Husband, and gentlemen, hear me but a word.
Hoa. Freely, sweet wife.
Court. Let him in peaceably;
You know we’re sure from any act of his.
Hoa. Most true.
Court.[98] You may stand by and smile at his old weakness:
Let me alone to answer him.
Hoa. Content;
’Twill be good mirth, i’faith. How think you, gentlemen?
Lam. Good gullery!
Hoa. Upon calm conditions let him in.
Luc. [within] All spite and malice!
Lam. Hear me, master Lucre:
So you will vow a peaceful entrance
With those your friends, and only exercise
Calm conference with the widow, without fury,
The passage shall receive you.
Luc. [within] I do vow it.
Lam. Then enter and talk freely: here she stands.
Enter Lucre, Gentlemen, and Host.
Luc. O, master Hoard, your spite has watch’d the hour!
You’re excellent at vengeance, master Hoard.
61Hoa. Ha, ha, ha!
Luc. I am the fool you laugh at:
You are wise, sir, and know the seasons well.—
Come hither, widow: why is it thus?
O, you have done me infinite disgrace,
And your own credit no small injury!
Suffer mine enemy so despitefully
To bear you from my nephew? O, I had
Rather half my substance had been forfeit
And begg’d by some starv’d rascal!
Court. Why, what would you wish me do, sir?
I must not overthrow my state for love:
We have too many precedents for that;
From thousands of our wealthy undone widows
One may derive some wit. I do confess
I lov’d your nephew, nay, I did affect him
Against the mind and liking of my friends;[99]
Believ’d his promises; lay here in hope
Of flatter’d living, and the boast of lands:
Coming to touch his wealth and state, indeed,
It appears dross; I find him not the man;
Imperfect, mean, scarce furnish’d of his needs;
In words, fair lordships; in performance, hovels:
Can any woman love the thing that is not?
Luc. Broke you for this?
Court. Was it not cause too much?
Send to inquire his state: most part of it
Lay two years mortgag’d in his uncle’s hands.
Luc. Why, say it did, you might have known my mind:
I could have soon restor’d it.
Court. Ay, had I but seen any such thing perform’d,
Why, ’twould have tied my affection, and contain’d
62Me in my first desires: do you think, i’faith,
That I could twine such a dry oak as this,
Had promise in your nephew took effect?
Luc. Why, and there’s no time past; and rather than
My adversary should thus thwart my hopes,
I would——
Court. Tut, you’ve been ever full of golden speech:
If words were lands, your nephew would be rich.
Luc. Widow, believe’t,[100] I vow by my best bliss,
Before these gentlemen, I will give in
The mortgage to my nephew instantly,
Before I sleep or eat.
First G. [friend to Lucre] We’ll pawn our credits,
Widow, what he speaks shall be perform’d
In fulness.
Luc. Nay, more; I will estate him
In farther blessings; he shall be my heir;
I have no son;[101]
I’ll bind myself to that condition.
Court. When I shall hear this done, I shall soon yield
To reasonable terms.
Luc. In the mean season,
Will you protest, before these gentlemen,
To keep yourself as you’re[102] now at this present?
Court. I do protest, before these gentlemen,
I will be as clear then as I am now.
63Luc. I do believe you. Here’s your own honest servant,
I’ll take him along with me.
Court. Ay, with all my heart.
Luc. He shall see all perform’d, and bring you word.
Court. That’s all I wait for.
Hoa. What, have you finished, master Lucre? ha, ha, ha, ha!
Luc. So laugh, Hoard, laugh at your poor enemy, do;
The wind may turn, you may be laugh’d at too;
Yes, marry may you, sir.—Ha, ha, ha, [ha]!
[Exeunt Lucre, Gentlemen, and Host.
Hoa. Ha, ha![103] if every man that swells in malice
Could be reveng’d as happily as I,
He would choose hate, and forswear amity.—
What did he say, wife, prithee?
Court. Faith, spoke to ease his mind.
Hoa. O, O, O!
Court. You know now little to any purpose.
Hoa. True, true, true!
Court. He would do mountains now.
Hoa. Ay, ay, ay, ay.
Lam. You’ve struck him dead, master Hoard.
Spi. And[104] his nephew desperate.
Hoa. I know’t, sirs, I.
Never did man so crush his enemy. [Exeunt.
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