Part 1 — XXIX. PARSON PUSS AND PARSON DOG.
Reading edition
One day Toad was courting for a long time to a very pretty India gal, an' Toad didn' want marry the gal. An' him didn' want the gal was to leave him but to live without married.
An' Puss was Toad parson. An' the mother send an' call Puss, an' when Parson Puss come, the mother lay the matter before Parson Puss.
An' Parson Puss call Toad one of his lovely member in the church, an' him didn' want Toad was to leave his church. An' Parson Puss talk until Toad agree to married the gal.
An' Dog himself was a parson.
So Toad send out a invitation to all his countrywoman an' countryman, an' invite Tacoma an' his families, an' likewise invite his friend Mr. Annancy an' his families. An' when him done Toad invite Parson Dog.
An' the day when Toad is to married Parson Puss come to married Toad.
An' Parson Dog come with his gown was to take away the business from Parson Puss.
But Toad say:—"Oh no! he will like to give his Parson the preference."
An' Dog say:—"Yes, I must have it. If not will be mossiful fight to-day."
Puss wife, was the organ-player, say:—"What a man fe swear!"
An' Parson Puss say to Toad mother-in-law:—"You don't mustn't listen what that fellah Parson Dog is saying. He so tief, as soon as they 'tick the hog he will soon forget all this for he has to go an' lick blood, so when he gone I will marry my member Toad."
An' so Dog did go away.
Until he come back Parson Puss marry off Toad.
An' when they eat cake done, then Parson Puss ask the young ladies them to let them go an' play in the ring, an' so they did do.
That time Parson Dog didn' know what was doning, but soon he hear this sing:—
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When you see a hugly man, When you see a hugly man, When you see a hugly man, Never make him marry you.
An' as him hear him hold up one of him foot an' listen.
An' he come nearer an' hear again:—
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Parson Dog won't married me, Parson Dog won't married me, Parson Dog won't married me, Cut your eye an' pass him.
Then Parson Dog shake him head, run come.
An' as he run come he meet Parson Puss was wheeling all the gal.
Parson Dog get very vex an' he bear an' bear.
But as he hear plain how the sing go, an' see that some of the gal Puss was wheeling began to laugh after him, say:—"No see how him mout' long," Parson Dog get fairly upstarted till him run in the ring an' palm Puss an begin to fight him.
An', as Parson Puss feel Parson Dog 'trength more than fe him, him look for a very tall tree an' run right upon it to save his life.
An' from that day that why Dog an' Puss can't 'gree until now.
Jack Mantora me no choose any.
NOTES.
lovely member. A certain amount of blarney is supposed to be admissible to keep your sheep from straying to a rival's flock.
to married Toad. Though they sometimes say marry (see the first song) they prefer married. The d before the T of Toad is very awkward to pronounce, yet the reciter, whose normal speech is of the laziest, like that of all his kindred, got it out quite plainly.
mossiful, unmerciful. Dog really used a bad word here, which is always put in his mouth. He uses the same word in "Finger Quashy." So much does it belong to him that it occurs as a descriptive adjective to the dog in the tune for the third Quadrille figure, which will be found among the dance tunes. The word is not really very bad, but it was not considered appropriate to a book which may find its way into the nursery, so in every case another one is substituted.
'tick, stick. The pig was killed for the wedding festivities, which were only just beginning. See note on weddings in "Gaulin."
play in the ring, play Sally Water, see Ring Tunes.
doning, being done.
never make him marry you, never let him, etc.
cut your eye, turn your eye aside. Where we use transitive cut they put intransitive cut eye.
wheeling, turning them in the dance.
run come, came running up.
bear an' bear, was patient for a while. A picturesque way of describing Dog's self-restraint. He bears it and he bears it again.
no see, etc., don't you see how long his mouth is. This is always the joke about Dog. About Puss it is:—"You face too (very) short. Cut off half inch you don't have nose."
upstarted, angry.
palm, touch or hold with the hand.
fe him, his.