Act 5 — MICHAELMAS TERM.
Reading edition
413Michaelmas Terme. As it hath been sundry times acted by the Children of Paules. At London, Printed for A. I. and are to be sould at the signe of the white horse in Paules Churchyard. An. 1607. 4to. Another ed., newly corrected, appeared 1630. 4to.
This play was licensed by Sir George Bucke, 15th May, 1607: see Chalmers’s Suppl. Apol. p. 200.
414DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
Easy, Rearage, Salewood, Cockstone gentlemen.
Quomodo, a woollen-draper.
Shortyard, Falselight, his attendants.
Sim, son to Quomodo.
Andrew Lethe, an adventurer, son to Mother Gruel.
Hellgill, a pander.
Father to the Country Wench.
Judge.
Dustbox, a scrivener.
Tailor.
Drawer.
Boy.
Beadle.
Liverymen, Officers, &c.
Thomasine, wife to Quomodo, afterwards married to Easy.
Susan, her daughter.
Thomasine’s mother.
Mother Gruel.
Country Wench, seduced by Lethe.
Mistress Comings, a tire-woman.
Winefred, maid to Thomasine.
Induction.
Michaelmas Term.
The other Three Terms.
Boy, &c.
SCENE, London.
415MICHAELMAS TERM.
INDUCTION.
Enter Michaelmas Term in a whitish cloak, new come up out of the country, a Boy bringing his gown after him.
Mich. T. Boy.
Boy. Here, sir.
Mich. T. Lay by my conscience;
Give me my gown; that weed is for the country:
We must be civil now, and match our evil:
Who first made civil black, he pleas’d the devil.
So:
Now know I where I am: methinks already
I grasp best part of the autumnian blessing
In my contentious fathom;[942] my hand’s free:
From wronger and from wronged I have fee;
And what by sweat from the rough earth they draw
Is to enrich this silver harvest, law;
And so through wealthy variance and fat brawl,
The barn is made but steward to the hall.
Come they up thick enough?
Boy. O, like hops and harlots, sir. Mich. T. Why dost thou couple them? Boy. O very aptly; for as the hop well boiled will make a man not stand upon his legs, so the 416harlot in time will leave a man no legs to stand upon.
Mich. T. Such another, and be my heir! I have no child,
Yet have I wealth would redeem beggary.
I think it be a curse both here and foreign,
Where bags are fruitful’st there the womb’s most barren:
The poor has all our children, we their wealth.
Shall I be prodigal when my life cools,
Make those my heirs whom I have beggar’d, fools?
It would be wondrous; rather beggar more;
Thou shalt have heirs enow, thou keep’st a whore:
And here comes kindred too with no mean purses,
Yet strive to be still blest with clients’ curses.
Music playing, enter the other three Terms, the first bringing in a fellow poor, which the other two advance,[943] giving him rich apparel, a page, and a pander: he then goes out.
Mich. T. What subtilty have we here? a fellow
Shrugging for life’s kind benefits, shift and heat,
Crept up in three terms, wrapt in silk and silver,
So well appointed too with page and pander!
It was a happy gale that blew him hither.
First T. Thou father of the Terms, hail to thee!
Sec. T. May much contention still keep with thee!
Third T. Many new fools come up and fee thee!
Sec. T. Let ’em pay dear enough that see thee!
First T. And like asses use such men;
When their load’s off, turn ’em to graze agen.[944]
417Sec. T. And may our wish have full effect,
Many a suit, and much neglect!
Third T. And as it hath been often found,
Let the clients’ cups come round!
Sec. T. Help your poor kinsmen, when you ha’ got ’em;
You may drink deep, leave us the bottom.
Third T. Or when there is a lamb fall’n in,
Take you the lamb, leave us the skin.
Mich. T. Your duty and regard hath mov’d us;
Never till now we thought you lov’d us.
Take comfort from our words, and make no doubt
You shall have suits come sixteen times about.
All Three. We humbly thank the patron of our hopes.
[Exeunt.
Mich. T. With what a vassal-appetite they gnaw
On our reversions, and are proud
Coldly to taste our meats, which eight returns
Serve in to us as courses!
One day our writs, like wild-fowl, fly abroad,
And then return o’er cities, towns, and hills,
With clients, like dried straws, between their bills;
And ’tis no few birds pick to build their neasts,[945]
Nor no small money that keeps drabs and feasts!
But, gentlemen, to spread myself open unto you, in cheaper terms I salute you; for ours have but sixpenny fees all the year long; yet we despatch you in two hours, without demur; your suits hang not long here after candles be lighted. Why we call this play by such a dear and chargeable title, Michaelmas Term, know it consents happily to our purpose, though perhaps faintly to the interpretation 418of many; for he that expects any great quarrels in law to be handled here will be fondly deceived; this only presents those familiar accidents which happened in town in the circumference of those six weeks whereof Michaelmas Term is lord. Sat sapienti: I hope there’s no fools i’ th’ house. [Exit with Boy.