Act 1 — SCENE II.

A Hall in the Palace.

Enter Vortiger, Felt-monger, Button-maker, Graziers, and other petitioners.

Vort. This way his majesty comes.

All. Thank your good lordship.

Vort. When you hear yon door open—

All. Very good, my lord.

134Vort. Be ready with your several suits; put forward.

Graz. That’s a thing every man does naturally, sir,

That is a suitor, and doth mean to speed.

Vort. ’Tis well you’re^[380] so deep learn’d. Take no denials.

All. No, my good lord.

Vort. Not any, if you love

The prosperity of your suits: you mar all utterly,

And overthrow your fruitful hopes for ever,

If either fifth or sixth, nay, tenth repulse

Fasten upon your bashfulness.

All. Say you so, my lord?

We can be troublesome if we list.

Vort. I know it:

I felt it but too late in the general sum

Of your rank brotherhood, which now I thank you for.—

While this vexation is in play, I’ll study

For a second; then a third to that; one still

To vex another, that he shall be glad

To yield up power; if not, it shall be had.

[Aside, and exit.

Butt. Hark! I protest, my heart was coming upwards:

I thought the door had open’d.

Graz. Marry, would it had, sir!

Butt. I have such a treacherous heart of my own, ’twill throb at the very fall of a farthingale.

Graz. Not if it fall on the rushes.^[381]

Butt. Yes, truly; if there be no light in the room, I shall throb presently. The first time it took me, my wife was in the company: I remember the room 135was not half so light as this; but I’ll be sworn I was a whole hour in finding her.

Graz. Byrlady,^[382] y’had a long time of throbbing of it then.

Butt. Still I felt men, but I could feel no women; I thought they had been all sunk. I have made a vow for’t, I’ll never have meeting, while I live, by candle-light again.

Graz. Yes, sir, in lanterns.

Butt. Yes, sir, in lanterns; but I’ll never trust candle naked again.

Graz. Hark, hark! stand close: it opens now indeed!

Butt. O majesty, what art thou! I’d give any man half my suit to deliver my petition: it is in the behalf of button-makers, and so it seems by my flesh.^[383]

Enter Constantius in regal attire, and two Gentlemen.

Const. Pray do not follow me, unless you do it

To wonder at my garments; there’s no cause

I give you why you should: ’tis shame enough,

Methinks, to look upon myself;

It grieves me that more should. The other weeds

Became me better, but the lords are pleas’d

To force me to wear these; I would not else:

I pray be satisfied; I call’d you not.

Wonder of madness! can you stand so idle,

And know that you must die?

First Gent. We’re^[384] all commanded, sir;

Besides, it is our duties to your grace,

To give attendance.

136Const. What a wild thing is this!

No marvel though you tremble at death’s name,

When you’ll not see the cause why you are fools.

For charity’s sake, desist here, I pray you!

Make not my presence guilty of your sloth:

Withdraw, young men, and find you honest business.

Second Gent. What hopes have we to rise by following him?

I’ll give him over shortly.

First Gent. He’s too nice,^[385]

Too holy for young gentlemen to follow

That have good faces and sweet running fortunes.

[Exeunt Gentlemen.

Const. Eight hours a-day in serious contemplation

Is but a bare allowance; no higher food

To the soul than bread and water to the body;

And that’s but needful; then more would do better.

Butt. Let us all kneel together; ’twill move pity:

I’ve^[386] been at the begging of a hundred suits.

[All the petitioners kneel.

Const. How happy am I in the sight of you!

Here are religious souls, that lose not time:

With what devotion do they point at heaven,

And seem to check me that am too remiss!

I bring my zeal among you, holy men:

If I see any kneel, and I sit out, [Kneels.

That hour is not well spent. Methinks, strict souls,

You have been of some order in your times.

Graz. Graziers and braziers some, and this a felt-maker.

Butt. Here’s his petition and mine, if it like^[387] your grace. [Giving petitions.

Graz. Look upon mine, I am the longest suitor; I was undone seven years ago.

137Const. [rising with the others] You’ve^[388] mock’d

My good hopes. Call you these petitions?

Why, there’s no form of prayer among them all.

Butt. Yes, in the bottom there is^[389] half a line

Prays for your majesty, if you look on mine.

Const. Make your requests to heaven, not to me.

Butt. ’Las! mine’s a supplication for brass buttons, sir.

Felt. There’s a great enormity in wool; I beseech your grace consider it.

Graz. Pastures rise two-pence an acre; what will this world come to!

Butt. I do beseech your grace——

Graz. Good your grace——

Const. O, this is one of my afflictions

That with the crown enclos’d me! I must bear it.

Graz. Your grace’s answer to my supplication.

Butt. Mine, my lord.

Const. No violent storm lasts ever;

That is the comfort of’t.^[390]

Felt. Your highness’s answer.

Graz. We are almost all undone, the country beggar’d.

Butt. See, see, he points at heaven, as who should say

There’s enough there: but ’tis a great way thither.

There’s no good to be done, I see that already; we may all spend our mouths like a company of hounds in chase of a royal deer, and then go home and fall to cold mutton-bones, when we have done.

Graz. My wife will hang me, that’s my currish destiny.

[Exeunt all except Constantius.

Const. Thanks, heaven! ’tis o’er now: we should ne’er^[391] know rightly

138The sweetness of a calm, but for a storm.

Here’s a wish’d hour for contemplation now;

All’s still and silent; here is a true kingdom.

Re-enter Vortiger.

Vort. My lord.

Const. Again?

Vort. Alas, this is but early

And gentle to the troops of businesses

That flock about authority! you must forthwith

Settle your mind to marry.

Const. How! to marry?

Vort. And suddenly, there’s no pause to be given;

The people’s wills are violent, and covetous

Of a succession from your loins.

Const. From me

There can come none: a profess’d abstinence

Hath set a virgin seal upon my blood,

And alter’d all the course; the heat I have

Is all enclos’d within a zeal to virtue,

And that’s not fit for earthly propagation.

Alas, I shall but forfeit all their hopes!

I’m a man made without desires, tell them.

Vort. I prov’d them with such words, but all were fruitless.

A virgin of the highest subject’s blood

They have pick’d out for your embrace, and send her,

Bless’d with their general wishes, into fruitfulness.

Lo! where she comes, my lord.

Enter Castiza.

Const. I never felt

Th’ unhappy hand of misery till this touch:

A patience I could find for all but this.

Cast. My lord, your vow’d love ventures me but dangerously.

139Vort. ’Tis but to strengthen a vexation politic.

Cast.^[392] That’s an uncharitable practice, trust me, sir,

Vort. No more of that.

Cast. But say he should affect me, sir,

How should I ’scape him then? I have but one

Faith, my lord, and that you have already;

Our late contràct is a divine witness to’t.

Vort. I am not void of shifting-rooms and helps

For all projècts that I commit with you. [Exit.

Cast. This is an ungodly way to come to honour;

I do not like it: I love lord Vortiger,

But not these practices; they’re too uncharitable.

[Aside.

Const. Are you a virgin?

Cast. Never yet, my lord,

Known to the will of man.

Const. O blessèd creature!

And does too much felicity make you surfeit?

Are you in soul assur’d there is a state

Prepar’d for you, for you, a glorious one,

In midst of heaven, now in the state you stand in,

And had you rather, after much known misery,

Cares and hard labours, mingled with a curse,

Throng but to the door, and hardly get a place there?

Think, hath the world a folly like this madness?

Keep still that holy and immaculate fire,

You chaste lamp^[393] of eternity! ’tis a treasure

Too precious for death’s moment to partake,

This twinkling of short life. Disdain as much

To let mortality know you, as stars

To kiss the pavements; you’ve a substance as

Excellent as theirs, holding your pureness:

They look upon corruption, as you do,

But are stars still; be you a virgin too.

140Cast. I’ll never marry. What though my truth be engag’d

To Vortiger? forsaking all the world

I save it well, and do my faith no wrong. [Aside.

You’ve mightily prevail’d, great virtuous sir;

I’m^[394] bound eternally to praise your goodness:

My thoughts henceforth shall be as pure from man,

As ever made a virgin’s name immortal.

Const. I will do that for joy, I never did,

Nor ever will again.

As he kisses her, re-enter Vortiger and Gentlemen.

First Gent. My lord, he’s taken.

Vort. I’m^[395] sorry for’t, I like not that so well;

They’re something too familiar for their time, methinks.

This way of kissing is no way to vex him:

Why I, that have a weaker faith and patience,

Could endure more than that, coming from a woman.

Despatch, and bring his answer speedily. [Exit.

First Gent. My lord, my gracious lord!

Const. Beshrew thy heart!

Second Gent. They all attend your grace.

Const. I would not have them:

’Twould please me better, if they’d^[396] all depart,

And leave me to myself; or put me out,

And take it to themselves.

First Gent. The noon is past;

Meat’s on the table.

Const. Meat! away, get from me;

Thy memory is diseas’d; what saint’s eve’s this?

First Gent. Saint Agatha’s, I take it.

141Const. Is it so?

I am not worthy to be serv’d before her;

And so return, I pray.

Second Gent. He’ll starve the guard, if this be suffered: if we set court bellies by a monastery clock, he that breaks a fellow’s pate now, will not be able to crack a louse within this twelvemonth.

[Aside, and exeunt Gentlemen.

Const. ’Tis sure forgetfulness, and not man’s will,

That leads him forth into licentious ways;

He cannot certainly commit such errors,

And think upon them truly as they’re^[397] acting.

Why’s abstinence ordain’d, but for such seasons?

Re-enter Vortiger.

Vort. My lord, you’ve pleas’d to put us to much pains,

But we confess ’tis portion of our duty.

Will your grace please to walk? dinner stays for you.

Const. I’ve^[398] answer’d that already.

Vort. But, my lord,

We must not so yield to you: pardon me,

’Tis for the general good; you must be rul’d, sir;

Your health and life are^[399] dearer to us now:

Think where you are, at court; this is no monastery.

Const. But, sir, my conscience keeps still where it was:

I may not eat this day.

Vort. We’ve^[400] sworn you shall,

And plentifully too: we must preserve you, sir,

Though you be wilful; ’tis no slight condition

To be a king.

142Const. Would I were less than man!

Vort. You will^[401] make the people rise, my lord,

In great despair of your continuance,

If you neglect the means that must sustain you.

Const. I never eat on eves.

Vort. But now you must;

It concerns others’ healths that you take food:

I’ve^[402] chang’d your life, you well may change your mood.

Const. This is beyond all cruelty.

Vort. ’Tis our care, my lord. [Exeunt.