FIRST CLASS
Reading edition
A company of tourists were traveling in Switzerland, and they went to buy tickets for the coach-ride up the mountain. The American man of course bought a first-class ticket, but he noticed that all the rest got second and third class, and they all got into the wagon with him. He said to the driver, “What advantage is there in paying for a first class ticket when holders of second and third class tickets have precisely the same accommodations?” The driver said, “You just wait a while and you will see.” So by and by they came to a steep hill, and the driver called out, “First class passengers will keep their seats; second class passengers will get out and walk; third class passengers will get out and push.”
They have a new brand of whiskey down in Kentucky known as “The Horn of Plenty,” because it will corn-you-copiously.
“In the Blue Grass section of Kentucky was I born, where all the corn is full of kernels—and all the colonels full of corn.”