The Funny Bone
- Subtitle
- Short Stories and Amusing Anecdotes for a Dull Hour
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Table of contents
1. Front matter2. Introductory material3. AXIOMS4. Michael Maloney’s Serenade5. A GOOD AFTER-DINNER SPEECH6. WHAT THE STATUTE DID NOT SAY7. A LINCOLN STORY8. ANOTHER LINCOLN STORY9. SHE DRIED UP10. A TIMELY ANSWER11. THAT TERRIBLE INFANT12. ALMOST WON THE BET13. THE USE OF RICHES14. A PRAYER THAT WAS ANSWERED15. GOD BLESS OUR HOME16. AN INQUISITIVE BOY17. PEPPER-SAUCE18. ONE PLACE OR THE OTHER19. “LOUDER!”20. A COLLEGE TRICK21. ANY PORT IN A STORM22. A VERY GOOD INVESTMENT23. THE POOR24. TEMPERANCE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO25. “THE —— YANKEES”26. THE SNOLLIGOSTER27. SHARPENING THEIR WITS28. AN ILL-ASSORTED COUPLE29. THE STRONGEST MAN30. WHY THEY MARRIED31. THE STUTTERERS32. ALEXANDER33. A FOOL ACCORDING TO HIS FOLLY34. HE COULDN’T CATCH UP35. A SUDDEN RISE36. “OLD HOSS”37. DISTURBING THE SOLEMNITY38. TECHNIQUE39. TACT—AND NO TACT40. THE ECHO41. “LOGIC IS LOGIC”42. LIONIZED43. LAUGHED IT OUT OF COURT44. HOW TO CATCH A MULE45. HOW THE YOUNG IDEA SHOOTS46. NAMES FOR THE TWINS47. EXTREMES MEET48. A FIRE SCREEN49. BRANDIED PEACHES50. “MOUNTED?”51. “DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS”52. TWO POLITE AND SPUNKY BOYS53. A CRANKY COUPLE54. SO MANY BALD HEADS55. WIND AND WATER56. THE THREE ASSES57. IN THE CLASS-ROOM58. OLD MAN SNUCKLES59. IN SEARCH OF A RESTAURANT60. LITERATURE MADE EASY61. SURE CURE FOR SNORING62. TOO YOUNG63. A POOR BUSINESS LOCATION64. A TALE OF A SAUSAGE65. PUNISHMENT MADE SURE66. A BASHFUL BRIDEGROOM67. A KICKIN’68. HE WARNED HER69. INCORRIGIBLE70. A DUTCH CONUNDRUM71. ROUGH ON THE DEACON72. RABBITS ENOUGH73. COLORED APOSTLES74. NEAR THE END OF HIS JOURNEY75. BOO!76. A GREAT COUNTRY77. FARM ACCIDENTS78. A WONDERFUL CLIMATE79. HE CUT IT SHORT80. NOT GOOD LOOKING81. A FLANK MOVEMENT82. A LONELY PLACE83. THE PRICE OF A DOG84. WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN’T PAY85. THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT86. KEEN CUTTERS87. NAMING THE APOSTLES88. THE REAR GUARD89. THE TURKEY WAS TAME90. BOOMERANG STORIES91. A PROMISING BUSINESS BOY92. HE DIDN’T GET IT IN THE NECK93. A HARD WITNESS94. IMPOSSIBLE—BUT FUNNY95. RURAL JUSTICE96. PURE SCOTCH97. WHY HE WAS A DEMOCRAT98. FINALLY THE WORM TURNED99. NO WATER IN HIS100. RAISING CAIN101. A MEAN COMPANY102. A SURE THING103. THE LOGIC OF GRAMMAR104. DELIRIOUS105. Millinerymania106. AN ECCENTRIC GREAT MAN107. LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENTS108. A REST AND A CHANGE109. THE SAME OLD KIND110. A TOUGH GOOSE-YARN111. FIRST CLASS112. AN AWFUL LOT OF PRACTICE113. “WHO’D ’A’ BIN ’ER?”114. “IN THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO”115. “NO THOROUGHFARE”116. THE OTHER EYE117. KEEPING A SECRET118. A SHARP REPROOF119. IT WOULDN’T WORK120. ON THE POINT OF A NEEDLE121. GETTING A WIFE122. THE SANCTUM123. ARTEMUS WARD AT THE THEATRE124. SHE CAME TO HIS AID125. A COSTLY DODGE126. COULDN’T HELP CRYING127. A KNIGHT ERRANT128. THACKERAY AND THE OYSTER129. A FAST TRAIN130. A SLOW COACH131. GO TO FATHER132. INTERESTING EPITAPHS133. SHE SPOILED THE POETRY134. HIS PART IN THE PLAY135. A CLERICAL CORKSCREW136. THE CHIEF END OF MAN137. AFTERNOON TEAS138. UNANIMOUS ACTION139. A DIFFERENCE WITHOUT A DISTINCTION140. THE SHY BOARDER141. A KNIGHTLY CONUNDRUM142. A SHREWD SELECTION143. A GOOD EAR144. THE RIGHT-OF-WAY145. THE DEACON BALKED146. PROTECTING THE MINISTER147. WALLA WALLA!148. THE WICKED PARROT149. DOING THE DONS150. EXEUNT OMNES