A FAST TRAIN
Reading edition
Three men were talking in rather a large way of the excellent train-service each had in his special locality. One was from the West, one from New England and one from New York. The former two men had told their tales, and it was New York’s turn.
“Now in New York,” said he, “we not only run trains fast, but we start them fast, too, very fast. I recall the case of a friend of mine whose wife went to the station at Jersey City to see him off for the West. As the train was about to start, my friend said his final good-bye to his wife and leaned down from the car platform to kiss her. The train started, and started with such a rush that, would you believe it, my friend found himself kissing a strange woman on the platform at Trenton!”
At a dinner one day some gentlemen were discussing the merits of different species of game. One preferred canvasback duck, another woodcock, another quail. The dinner and the discussion ended, one of the men said to the waiter, who was a good listener, “Well, Frank, what kind of game do you like best?”
“Well, gemmen, to tell you de trufe,” said he, “‘mos any kind o’ game ’ll suit me, but what I likes best is an American Eagle served on a silvah dollah!”