A Persian Mission.

In “The New-York World” we find this remarkable editorial paragraph: “Mr. Winston, our new minister to Persia, has had himself appointed a brigadier-general of Illinois militia in order that he may be able to shine at the shah’s resplendent court in a gorgeous uniform. We need a minister to Persia about as much as we need a consular agent at the north pole; but, inasmuch as we are carrying on the tomfoolery, we might, as by special enactment, authorize our representative at Teheran to appear in the full dress of a Choctaw chief. Something variegated and humorous in that line would be likely to make an impression on the shah’s mind.”

We are amazed to find a democratic paper speaking in these terms of one of the most distinguished appointments that has been made to our diplomatic service. Yet we think the gross misrepresentation comes merely from misinformation. Gen. Winston’s magnificent record as a citizen and soldier demands an explanation of these things.

We are reliably informed, that, when President Cleveland took his seat as executive of this republic, he cast his eagle eye abroad over all the land, and allowed each of the eminent statesmen to pass before him in review, as candidates for the Persian mission; that after months of careful, 176earnest study, inspired by the sincerest patriotism, President Cleveland made up his mind, that, in all the country, there was one man pre-eminently qualified for this high and responsible office; that the name of that man was Frederick H. Winston.

We are reliably informed that President Cleveland sent privily for Gen. Winston, and informed him of his selection for the Persian mission; that Gen. Winston demurred, alleging that his ambition beckoned him not in the direction of diplomatic exploits; that it was only by personal and constant importunities, and by presenting the matter to him in the light of a patriotic duty, that the president succeeded in overcoming Gen. Winston’s superhuman modesty, and inducing him to accept the mission.

We are reliably informed, that, as soon as he heard of Gen. Winston’s appointment to the court of Persia, Gov. Oglesby said to himself, “Now is the time for me to bestow upon this great and good man some official recognition of his distinguished civic and military services; but how shall I do so best? A commission as notary public would not avail, because the benighted Persian pagans know naught of the notary system; nor, for similar reason, would a commission as grain-inspector, or humane-society agent, or State veterinary agent, or insane-asylum commissioner, or soldiers’-home trustee. No,” thought Gov. Oglesby, “I must bestow upon this human paragon some 177distinction, honor, mark, title, and decoration that will not only be in keeping with his exalted career at home, but also give to him a certain lustre and bedazzling brilliancy in the eyes of the heathen among whom he is soon to exploit most featly. So, therefore, I will create him a brigadier-general; and I will invest him with the ever-to-be-revered authority to wear high top-boots and spurs, as well as gilt buttons, gold epaulets, and a cocked hat withal.”

We are reliably informed that Gov. Oglesby had to wrestle rhetorically three whole days and nights with Gen. Winston before the latter was induced to accept the proffered military decoration, and that even then a squad of militia had to be called out and put on a war-footing before Winston could be induced to go to his tailor to be measured for a suit of regimentals; that even when he did go to said tailor, a corporal and four soldiers had to guard the doors and windows lest the super-modest general should repent his errand, and privily effect his escape from the prick-louse.

We are reliably informed, that, upon calmer and maturer reflection, the embryotic diplomate travailed much in spirit, and groaned, and by the advice of the spirits of Jefferson and Jackson, which did visit him in dreams and visions, finally made up his mind that he would have done with this matter of display, which was opposed in spirit and in truth to the traditions and practices of democracy; 178that he did so advise Gov. Oglesby, the press, and the public at large, and that if he did accept the regimentals from the tailor, and order them to be packed among his official effects, it was merely for the purpose of exhibiting them in Persia as a specimen of American handiwork.

We are reliably informed, that, at a sumptuous feast tendered to the departing, citizen-soldier-diplomate by such exalted social, intellectual, and political stars as Johnnie Hand, Emil Hoechster, Charlie Felton, J. J. Curran, Austin J. Doyle, Charlie Kern, John Mattocks, P. Dudley, W. M. Devine, and other representatives of the cream and flower of native and naturalized gentility, there did prevail an eloquent and piteous protest against the harsh decree of fate which was about to remove from the midst of them the pole-star, the central sun, the inspiration of this incomparable galaxy. So poignant was the grief marking this lachrymose event, that, ill content with the restraining powers of prose and poetry, one of the distinguished chief mourners, to wit, Charlie Kern, did essay the subtile influence of song to alter Gen. Winston’s intention of going abroad.

We are reliably informed, that, having heard Mr. Kern sing, Gen. Winston became more fixed in his patriotic determination to leave his country.

Of Gen. Winston’s eternal fitness for the Persian mission, we have no doubt. Since his appointment he has made a close study of Persia, its history, 179literature, language, people, customs, etc. Hearing that Persia was the land of the date and palm, he took no rest until he had secured the very latest editions of Hayden’s “Dictionary of Dates,” and Fowler’s “Guide to Palmistry.” Having devoured these standard works, as well as an unabridged edition of the “Arabian Nights,” he is, beyond compare, deeply learned in Persian lore.

And who that has beheld him; who that has studied his methods; who that is acquainted with his high and mighty career in the forum, on the mart, upon the field of carnage; who that has seen that undaunted integrity, that unselfish patriotism, that sweet philosophy, and that heroic valor, which have characterized every act and utterance in his life; who, in fine, that knows this good and great man,—will deny that his career in that pagan land, to which he goes anon, promises to redound to his own glory, and to the advantage of the government, which, by his distinguished service, he places under renewed obligations?