Act 4 — SCENE III.

A large apartment in Fernando’s house.

Enter Fernando, Francisco, Pedro, Diego, Maria, Clara, and Servants.

Fer. Come, ladies, take your places. [Flourish within.] This their music?

’Tis very handsome: O, I wish this room

Were freighted but with [pleasures^[342]], noble friends,

As are to you my welcomes!—Begin there, masters.

San. [within] Presently, my lord; we want but a cold capon for a property.^[343]

Fer. Call, call for one.

Enter Sancho as Prologue.

Now they begin.

San. Both short and sweet some say is best;

We will not only be sweet, but short:

Take you pepper in the nose,^[344] you mar our sport.

Fer. By no means pepper.

San. Of your love measure us forth but one span;

We do, though not the best, the best we can. [Exit.

Fer. A good honest gipsy!

Enter Alvarez (as Avero), and Soto (as Lollio).

Alv. Slave, where’s my son Lorenzo?

Soto. I have sought him, my lord, in all four elements: in earth, my shoes are full of gravel; in water, I drop at nose with sweating; in air, wheresoever I heard noise of fiddlers, or the wide mouths 176of gallon-pots roaring; and in fire, what chimney soever I saw smoking with good cheer, for my master’s dinner, as I was in hope.

Alv. Not yet come home? before on this old tree

Shall grow a branch so blasted, I'll hew it off,

And bury it at my foot! Didst thou inquire

At my brother’s?

Soto. At your sister’s.

Alv. At my wife’s father’s?

Soto. At your uncle’s mother’s: no such sheep has broke through their hedge; no such calf as your son sucks or bleats in their ground.

Alv. I am unbless’d to have but one son only,

One staff to bear my age up, one taper left

To light me to my grave, and that burns dimly;

That leaves me darkling hid in clouds of woe:

He that should prop me is mine overthrow.

Fer. Well done, old fellow! is’t not?

Fran. Ped., &c. Yes, yes, my lord.

Soto. Here comes his man Hialdo.

Enter Sancho (as Hialdo).

Alv. Where’s the prodigal your master, sirrah?

San. Eating acorns amongst swine, draff amongst hogs, and gnawing bones amongst dogs; has lost all his money at dice, his wits with his money, and his honesty with both; for he bum-fiddles me, makes the drawers curvet, pitches the plate over the bar, scores up the vintner’s name in the Ram-head, flirts his wife under the nose, and bids you with a pox send him more money.

Alv. Art thou one of his curs to bite me too?

To nail thee to the earth were to do justice.

San. Here comes Bucephalus my prancing master; nail me now who dares.

177Enter Roderigo (as Lorenzo).

Rod. I sit like an owl^[345] in the ivy-bush of a tavern; Hialdo, I have drawn red wine from the vintner’s own hogshead.

San. Here’s two more, pierce them too.

Rod. Old don, whom I call father, am I thy son? if I be, flesh me with gold, fat me with silver; had I Spain in this hand, and Portugal in this, puff it should fly: where’s the money I sent for?—I'll tickle you for a rake-hell! [Aside.

San. Not a marvedi.^[346]

Alv. Thou shalt have none of me.

Soto. Hold his nose^[347] to the grin’stone, my lord.

Rod. I shall have none?

Alv. Charge me a case^[348] of pistols;

What I have built I'll ruin: shall I suffer

A slave to set his foot upon my heart?

A son? a barbarous villain! or if heaven save thee

Now from my justice, yet my curse pursues thee.

Rod. Hialdo, carbonado thou the old rogue my father.

San. Whilst you slice into collops the rusty gammon his man there.

Rod. No money? Can taverns stand without anon, anon?^[349] fiddlers live without scraping? taffeta girls look plump without pampering? If you will 178not lard me with money, give me a ship, furnish me to sea.

Alv. To have thee hanged for piracy?

San. Trim, tram, hang master, hang man!

Rod. Then send me to the West Indies, buy me some office there.

Alv. To have thy throat cut for thy quarrelling?

Rod. Else send me and my ningle^[350] Hialdo to the wars.

San. A match; we’ll fight dog, fight bear.

Enter Antonio (as Hernando).

Alv.^[351] O dear Hernando, welcome!—Clap wings to your heels, [To Soto.

And pray my worthy friends bestow upon me

Their present visitation.^[352]— [Exit Soto.

Lorenzo, see the anger of a father;

Although it be as loud and quick as thunder,

Yet ’tis done instantly; cast off thy wildness,

Be mine, be mine, for I to call thee home

Have, with my honour’d friend here Don Hernando,

Provided thee a wife.

Rod. A wife! is she handsome? is she rich? is she fair? is she witty? is she honest? hang honesty! has she a sweet face, cherry-cheek, strawberry-lip, white skin, dainty eye, pretty foot, delicate legs, as there’s a girl now?

Ant. It is a creature both for birth and fortunes,

And for most excellent graces of the mind,

Few like her are in Spain.

Rod. When shall I see her?—

Now, father, pray take your curse off.

Alv. I do: the lady

179Lives from Madrill^[353] very near fourteen leagues,

But thou shalt see her picture.

Rod. That! that! most ladies in these days are but very fine pictures.

Enter Carlo, John, Guiamara, Constanza, and Christiana (as friends of Avero).

Alv. Ladies, to you first welcome; my lords, Alonzo,

And you worthy marquis, thanks for these honours.—

Away you! [Exit Sancho.^[354]

To th' cause now of this meeting. My son Lorenzo,

Whose wildness you all know, comes now to th' lure,

Sits gently; has call’d home his wandering thoughts,

And now will marry.

Consti. A good wife fate send him!

Gui. One staid may settle him.

Rod. Fly to the mark, sir; shew me the wench, or her face, or any thing I may know ’tis a woman fit for me.

Alv. She is not here herself, but here’s her picture.

[Shews a picture.

Fer. My lord De Carcomo, pray, observe this.

Fran. I do, attentively.—Don Pedro, mark it.

Re-enter Soto.

Soto. [to John] If you ha' done your part, yonder’s a wench would ha' a bout with you. [Exit.

John. Me? Exit.

Diego. A wench! [Exit.

Alv. Why stand you staring at it? how do you like her?

180Rod. Are you in earnest?

Alv. Yes, sir, in earnest.

Rod. I am not so hungry after flesh to make the devil a cuckold.

Ant. Look not upon the face, but on the goodness

That dwells within her.

Rod. Set fire on the tenement!

Alv. She’s rich; nobly descended.

Rod. Did ever nobility look so scurvily?

Alv. I'm sunk in fortunes, she may raise us both.

Rod. Sink let her to her granam! marry a witch? have you fetched a wife for me out of Lapland? an old midwife in a velvet hat were a goddess to this: that a red lip?

Consti. There’s a red nose.

Rod. That a yellow hair?

Gui. Why, her teeth may be yellow.

Rod. Where’s the full eye?

Chris. She has full blabber-cheeks.

Alv. Set up thy rest, her marriest thou or none.

Rod. None then: were all the water in the world one sea, all kingdoms one mountain, I would climb on all four up to the top of that hill, and headlong hurl myself into that abyss of waves, ere I would touch the skin of such rough haberdine,^[355] for the breath of her picture stinks hither.

A noise within. Re-enter, in a hurry, John, Diego, Sancho, and Soto, with Cardochia.

Fer. What tumult’s this?

San. Murder, murder, murder!

Soto. One of our gipsies is in danger of hanging, hanging!

Ped. Who is hurt?

181Diego. ’Tis I, my lord, stabbed by this gipsy.

John. He struck me first, and I'll not take a blow

From any Spaniard breathing.

Ped. Are you so brave?

Fer. Break up your play; lock all the doors.

Diego. I faint, my lord.

Fran. Have him to a surgeon.—

[Servants remove Diego.

How fell they out?

Card. O, my good lord, these gipsies, when they lodg’d

At my house, I had a jewel from my pocket

Stolen by this villain.

John. ’Tis most false, my lords;

Her own hands gave it me.

Consti. She that calls him villain,

Or says he stole——

Fer. Hoyday! we hear your scolding.

Card. And the hurt gentleman finding it in his bosom,

For that he stabb’d him.

Fer. Hence with all the gipsies!

Ped. Ruffians and thieves; to prison with ’em all!

Alv. My lord, we’ll leave engagements in plate and money

For all our safe forthcomings; punish not all

For one’s offence; we’ll prove ourselves no thieves.

San. O Soto, I make buttons!^[356]

Soto. Would I could make some, and leave this trade!

Fer. Iron him then, let the rest go free; but stir not

182One foot out of Madrill.^[357] Bring you in your witness.

[Exeunt. John in custody of servants, Alvarez, Guiamara, Constanza, Christiana, Antonio, Carlo, and Cardochia.

Soto. Prick him with a pin, or pinch him by the elbow; any thing.

San. My lord Don Pedro, I am your ward; we have spent a little money to get a horrible deal of wit, and now I am weary of it.

Ped. My runaways turn’d jugglers, fortune-tellers?

Soto. No great fortunes.

Fer. To prison with ’em both: a gentleman play the ass!

San. If all gentlemen that play the ass should to prison, you must widen your jails.—Come, Soto, I scorn to beg, set thy foot to mine, and kick at shackles.

Fer. So, so; away with ’em!

Soto. Send all our company after, and we’ll play there, and be as merry as you here.

[Exeunt. Sancho and Soto with Servants.

Fer. Our comedy turn’d tragical! Please you, lords, walk:

This actor here and I must change a word,

And I come to you.

Fran. Ped., &c. Well, my lord, your pleasure.

[Exeunt all except Fernando and Roderigo.

Fer. Why, couldst thou think in any base disguise

To blind my sight? fathers have eagles' eyes.

183But pray, sir, why was this done? why, when I thought you

Fast lock’d in Salamanca at your study,

Leap’d you into a gipsy?

Rod. Sir, with your pardon,

I shall at fit time to you shew cause for all.

Fer. Meantime, sir, you have got a trade to live by:

Best to turn player; an excellent ruffian, ha!

But know, sir, when I had found you out, I gave you

This project of set purpose; ’tis all myself;

What the old gipsy spake must be my language;

Nothing are left me but my offices

And thin-fac’d honours; and this very creature,

By you so scorn’d, must raise me by your marrying her.

Rod. You would not build your glory on my ruins?

Fer. The rascal has belied the lady,

She is not half so bad; all’s one, she’s rich.

Rod. O, will you sell^[358] the joys of my full youth

To dunghill muck? seek out some wretch’s daughter,

Whose soul is lost for gold then: you’re more noble

Than t' have your son, the top-branch of your house,

Grow in a heap of rubbish: I must marry a thing

I shall be asham’d to own, asham’d to bring her

Before a sunbeam.

Fer. I cannot help it, sir;

Resolve upon’t, and do’t.

Rod. And do’t and die!

184Is there no face in Spain for you to pick out

But one to fright me? when you sat the play here,

There was a beauty, to be lord of which

I would against an army throw defiance.

Fer. She? alas!

Rod. How? she!^[359] at every hair of hers

There hangs a very angel; this! I'm ready

To drop down looking at it: sir, I beseech you

Bury me in this earth [kneels], on which I'm humbled

To beg your blessing on me, for a gipsy,

Rather than—O, I know not what to term it!

Pray, what is that young pensive piece of beauty?

Your voice for her; I ey’d her all the scene.

Fer. I saw you did.

Rod. Methought ’twas a sweet creature.

Fer. Well, though my present state stands now on ice,

I'll let it crack and fall rather than bar thee

Of thy content; this lady shall go by then.

Rod. Hang let her there, or any where!

Fer. That young lannard,^[360]

Whom you have such a mind to, if you can whistle her

To come to fist, make trial; play the young falconer;

I will nor mar your marriage nor yet make;

Beauty, no wealth,—wealth, ugliness,—which you will, take.

Rod. I thank you, sir. [Exit Fernando.]—Put on your mask, good madam, [To the picture.

The sun will spoil your face else. [Exit.

185