PETTICOATS DOWN TO MY KNEES.

When my first troubles in life I began to know, Spry as a chick newly out of the shell, Nothing I longed for so much as a man to grow, Sharing his joys and his sorrows as well. Now that the high tide of life’s on the slack again, Pleasure’s deep draught drained down to the lees, Dearly I wish I had the days back again, When I wore petticoats down to my knees! Well do I mind the day I donned trousereens, My proud mother cried “We’ll soon be a man!” Little we know what fate has in store for us— Troth, it was then that my troubles began. Cramped up in clothes, little comfort or ease I find, Crippled and crushed, almost frightened to sneeze! Oh to have back my old freedom and peace of mind, When I wore petticoats down to my knees! Now must I walk many miles for an appetite, And after all find my journey in vain— Oh for the days when howe’er you might wrap it tight My school lunch was ate at the end of the lane! Now scarce a wink of sleep on the best of nights, Worried in mind and ill at my ease, Headache or heartache ne’er troubled my rest of nights When I wore petticoats down to my knees! Once of my days I thought girls were nuisances, Petting and coaxing and ruffling your brow, Now Love the rogue runs away with my few senses, Vainly I wish they would fondle me now! Idols I worship with ardour unshakeable, But none of all half so fitted to please As the poor toys full of sawdust and breakable, When I wore petticoats down to my knees! Little I cared then for doings political, The ebb or the flow of the popular tides, Europe might quake in convulsions most critical— I had my bread buttered well on both sides. Now must I wander for themes for my puny verse Over earth’s continents, islands and seas; Small stock I took of affairs of the universe, When I wore petticoats down to my knees! Life is a puzzle and man is a mystery, He that would solve them a wizard need be; Precepts lie thick in the pathways of history, This is the lesson that life has taught me. Man ever longs for the dawn of a golden day, Visions of joy in futurity sees, Ah! he enjoyed Life’s cream in the olden day, When he wore petticoats down to his knees! Francis A. Fahy