DISTRIBUTION OF NAVAL MEDALS.
Reading edition
We are happy to announce that the Lords of the Admiralty have issued an order for the distribution of medals to the officers and seamen who served in the naval actions hereunder specified. We understand the medals are of gold, set round with diamonds of the most costly description. Great caution will be used in the distribution, to prevent fraud in personating deceased officers, &c.
—A.D. 876. King Alfred's engagement with and destruction of the Danish fleet.
—1350. Great sea-fight between the English and the combined fleets of France and Spain.
—1588. Destruction of the Spanish Armada.
—1702. Admiral Benbow's engagement with the French.
—1761. Siege and capture of Belleisle.
N.B. No officer or seaman will be entitled to a medal in respect of the last-mentioned siege, unless he can satisfy their lordships that he was "there all the while."
Rather Severe.
Regular (manœuvring with Yeomanry). "Got to give up my arms, have I? Umph! This comes of going out with a lot of darned Volunteers."
Yeomanry Manœuvres. (First Day in Camp.)—Officer. "What's all this? What are you doing with that cask?"
Trooper. "Tent equipment, sir!"
Our Review.
The colonel is wondering what manœuvre he ought to execute in the circumstances.
Manœuvres.
Lieutenant Nobs (just arrived). "How long will you take to drive me to the fort, Cabby?"
Cabby. "Ten minutes, Capting, by the shortcut through the halleys. But the military allus goes the long way round, through the fashionable part o' the town, yer honour, which takes an hour."
[Cabby gets his hour.
Technical Education in the Army.
Officer (examining a Mounted Infantry class). "Well, I think you understand about the hoof and what the frog is. Now, just tell me where you would expect to find corns?"
Mounted Infantry Recruit (suspecting a catch). "In the manger, sir."
Military Intelligence.
Musketry Instructor (who wishes, by simple practical examples, to bring the fact of the air's resistance and elasticity to the mind of intelligent pupil, No. 450, Private Jones), loq. "For instance, you have seen an air-cushion, and felt that it contained something you could not compress. What was it?"
Private Jones (readily). "'Orse 'air, sir!"
[Enthusiastic instructor tries again.
Diversions of Drill (1860).
Captain of Volunteers. "Dress back, No. 3, do dress back. Comp'ny! Fours! As y' were! No. 3, Mr. Buffles, how often am I to speak to you, sir? Will you dress back, sir; further still, sir. You are not dressed exactly yet, sir, by a——"
Buffles (goaded to madness). "Bet yer five pounds I am—there!"