Part 2 — Moll Quarles’s Answer to Mother Creswell of Famous Memory.

Loving Sister,

YOUR compassionate letter, has so won my affections to your pious memory, that it shall be always my endeavour to pursue your kind instructions, and to make myself the happy imitatrix of your glorious example, having often, with great satisfaction, heard of your fame; which as long as there is a young libertine, or an honest old whoremaster living upon earth, can never be obliterated. Were I to give you an account of the severe usage, and many persecutions I have been under of late days, since the mercenary reformation of ill-manners has been put on foot, it would soften the most obdurate wretches within your infernal precincts, and make them squeeze me out a tear of pity, tho’ your unextinguishable fire had so dry’d their souls, that their immortalities were crusted into perfect cinder.

Of all the unmerciful impositions that ever were laid upon bumb-labour, none ever so highly afflicted, or so insupportably oppress us, the retailers of copulation, as this intolerable society, who have brib’d those who were our pimps to forsake our interest; and have made those scoundrels who were our meanest servants, our implacable masters; who come in clusters like cowardly bailiffs to arrest a bully; distrain our commodities for want of money to pacify their greedy avarice; fright away our customers, and make us pawn our cloaths to redeem little more than our nakedness from a cat of nine-tails, and the filthy confines of a stinking prison: At least five hundred of these reformed vultures are daily plundering our pockets, and ransacking our houses, leaving me sometimes not one pair of tractable buttocks in my vaulting-school to provide for my family, or earn me so much as a pudding for my next Sunday’s dinner: nay, sometimes I have been forc’d to wag my own hand to get a penny for want of a journey-woman in my house to dispatch business. To shun their jury, I once got sanctuary in the Rolls-liberty, where I thought myself as safe as a fox in a badgers hole, and had bid defiance to the rogues even to this day, for only sacrificing now and then an elemosynary maiden-head to the fumbling of old impotency; but some ill-natur’d observators beginning to reflect, occasion’d my good friend to look a little a-skew upon me, when he found his gravity and reputation began to be smear’d a little; so that I was soon toss’d out by his untimely fear, whose lust before had kindly given me protection: and now again, as true as I am a sinner, the rogues plunder’d me of at least eight pence out of every shilling for forbearance-money, and I believe will grow so unreasonable in a little time, that they will not be content with less gain than an apothecary. The officers of the parish, where-ever I liv’d, had the scouring of their old rusty hangers for a word speaking, without so much as gratifying the wench for making the bed, or being ever at the expence of presenting one of my poor girls with a paper-fan, or a pair of taffeta shoestrings. One honest churchwarden, I must confess, when I liv’d in St. Andrew’s parish, after I had serv’d him and his son with the choicest goods in my warehouse for above two years together, till they had got a wife between them, had the gratitude, like an honest man, to present me with a looking-glass; which I took so kindly at his hands, that I declare it, should he come to my house to morrow, I would oblige him with as good a commodity in my way, as a worthy old fornicator or adulterer would desire to lay his hand upon.

Thus plaguing and pillaging of all our known houses of delight, has been a great discouragement to young ladies from tendring their service at such places, or rendevouzing in numbers upon the lawful occasions that concern their livelihood, for fear of trouble or molestation, and make them rather choose to deel singly, as interlopers, than incorporate themselves with the company of town-traders, for fear of being scratch’d out of their burrows by those reforming ferrets, who make worse havock with the poor sculking creatures, than so many weasles or pole-cats would do with coneys in a warren; they sleep in fear, walk in dread, converse in danger, do their business, poor wretches, insteed of pleasure, with an aking heart. Oh, sister! what a miserable age is this we live in after you, that one part of mankind cannot obey the great law of nature, but the other part shall make a law to punish them for doing it! Which sport, if totally neglected, would soon make lions, and tygers princes of the earth, and turn the world into a solitary wilderness.

I cannot but reflect, with great concern, upon the unreasonableness of some men in authority, who loving the old trade of basket-making so well themselves, are so inveterate against the same practice in others, that I cannot but believe, they think the sweet sin of copulation ought to be enjoy’d by none under the dignity of a justice of peace, or at least the authority of a high constable: nay, and are so inveterate when they grow old, against other creatures who they know use it, that a grave city magistrate, one of the reformed-society, seeing a young game cock of his own, refresh his feather’d mistress three times in about half an hour, he grew so wonderful angry with the lascivious chaunticleer, that he order’d him forthwith to be depriv’d of his progenitors, for committing so foul an act with such indecent immoderation; looking upon the intemperance to be a shameful example, sufficient to stir up inordinate desires in mankind, and to put the female part of his own family upon unreasonable expectancies; but the good lady of the house enquired into the reason, why the noble little creature was so severely dealt by, and being inform’d by her chamber-maid, she compassionately declar’d, that she would rather have given five pound than so barbarous an action had been done in her family, for that the bird committed no offence, and therefore deserv’d no punishment. Observe but in this particular the cruelty of sordid man, and the tenderness of the female sex! and how can those poor girls, who have nothing to depend on but the drudgery of flipflap, expect any other than severe usage from so morose a creature? For certain, whilst publick magistrates are in their authority so stiff, and private women in their own houses so pliable, the ladies of the town must starve, and be firk’d about from one Bridewell to another; for the favours of a kind mistress, which were once thought the most valuable blessings beneath the clouds, are now become, thro’ the universal corruption of the female sex, such unregarded drugs, that the scene is quite revers’d, and as women us’d to take money formerly as but just recompence for their soft embraces, they are forc’d to give money now, or else they will have a hard matter to procure a gallant that is worth whistling after. How therefore at this rate, are the poor whores like to be fed, when the rich ones buy up all for their cats, and the middling whores in private lie and pick up the crumbs? For what won’t down with the quality, are snapp’d up by citizens-wives, sempstresses and head-dressers; insomuch, that I have several pretty nymphs under my own jurisdiction, that some weeks I may modestly say, don’t earn money enough to pay their three-penny admittances into Pancras-wells, but are often-times forc’d to tick half a sice a piece for their watering; and were it not for the credit I always preserve in those places, the poor wenches might be dash’d out of countenance by being refus’d entrance; but money or no money, if they are my puppets, and name but who they belong to, they are as kindly receiv’d as so many butchers at the Bear-Garden; for without them there would be no sport. You may from thence observe what an honest reputation I maintain abroad for a lady of my calling, that the word of the homeliest courtezan protected under my roof, will pass for three-pence any where that she’s known, without the least exception, when many a poor house-keeper has not credit for a two-penny loaf.

We have nothing to hope for, but that the national senate, thro’ their wonted wisdom, will find out, without shamming on’t, some real expedient to restrain the looseness of the age, and promote the practice of morality and strict observance of religion; for thro’ all the experience I have had in the mystery of intriguing, I have ever found the lady’s students in the school of Venus, attended with the most prosperity when the people are most pious; whether it is that a good conscience teaches gentlemen to be more grateful to their mistresses, or that as the priests grow fat, the petticoat flourishes, I will leave you to determine: so thanking you for the kind advice you gave me in your letter, which shall always be esteem’d a guide to my future practice,

I rest, Your Loving Sister,

Moll Quarles.