CHAP. XXX. The Ambassador falls in love with a Roman Lady; Guzman undertakes to assist him in his amour; his success.

I have already informed you, gentle reader, that the only blemish in the character of the Ambassador was his libertine principles respecting the fair sex. He had seen, though by what accident I never knew, the wife of a Roman knight, and speedily became violently enamoured of her. He had already put an old beldame on the scent, who was trained to the seduction of young women, but, however dextrous his agent might be, all her pains and exertions had hitherto proved useless, and my master was driven to despair. At last he opened his mind to me, and expressed the more surprise at Fabia’s withstanding his advances, as this lady, in the flower of her youth, was united to a husband who had all the disagreeable infirmities of old age. The design of this confidence was to engage me to assist him in this intrigue; which he had but little difficulty to accomplish. I undertook this honorable employment which my master conferred upon me, and on my informing him that I was particularly intimate with the waiting-maid of that lady, he conceived the most flattering hopes. He could not contain his joy on learning this circumstance; but embraced me, and said, that having her attendant and myself in his interest, he did not doubt that with our assistance he should, sooner or later, obtain the object of his desires. In the next conversation that I had with Nicoleta (which was the name of the lady’s maid) I contrived to engage her in my master’s favor. She spared no pains to ingratiate him with her mistress, by taking every opportunity of praising him, and of saying something in disparagement of the old husband. Nevertheless, after losing a great deal of time in attacking Fabia’s virtue by every sort of discourse the most likely to stagger it, she began to despair of success, when one morning that lady, putting on of a sudden a smiling air, said to her, “My dear Nicoleta, I will unfold to you the inmost recesses of my soul; I can no longer dissemble with you, so wholly devoted as you are to all my wishes. Learn then that I think the Spanish Ambassador every way worthy of the love of a woman of quality. I can no longer continue to treat him so harshly. But you know my character; you know that I am a slave to reputation. Find out some method to compromise my inclination for him with my delicacy, and if you can discover one that proves satisfactory, I shall no longer make any scruple of returning the passion of this amiable Nobleman. I allow you to divulge every thing to Guzman, and even wish that he may, if possible, be introduced to me to-night. You can bring him into the house secretly, and I shall be able to converse with him without discovery.” Nicoleta, who was transported with joy to see her mistress so favorably inclined towards my master, embraced her knees, kissed her hands, and acted a thousand fooleries before her, which testified her rapture. Then, in the hope of strengthening her resolution, she began to boast of the good qualities of the Ambassador; and concluded by assuring her that the intrigue should be conducted in so prudent a manner that no one living should have the slightest suspicion of it. Satisfied with these assurances, Fabia told her that she would leave every thing to her zeal and discretion.

Upon this, Nicoleta came to seek for me, and, as if the excess of her joy had almost deprived her of her senses, she threw her arms round my neck, crying out, “My dear friend, you will be transported at the agreeable news I bring you: my mistress resists no longer, but is willing to make your master the happiest of men.” I was so delighted at hearing these words, which I little expected, that I took Nicoleta by the hand, and led her like a triumphant general into my master’s closet, where we began to congratulate ourselves on the change that we had wrought in Fabia. His Excellency presented a purse of Spanish pistoles to the waiting-woman, who received them with a very good grace, after a little ceremonious reluctance, as is usual upon such occasions.

This officious agent at length retired, after she had carefully instructed me concerning the place where I was to meet her that night, and the hour of rendezvous when I was to be introduced to Fabia; and my master and I were left alone. We passed the whole afternoon in conversation on this intrigue, he relating to me how he first obtained a sight of the lady, and I congratulating him on his having made so agreeable an acquaintance.

At the appointed hour I hastened to the rendezvous, at the place fixed upon by Nicoleta, who came at last to inform me that her mistress could not see me that night, and this disappointment happened for three or four nights following. My patron and I did not augur very favorably from this beginning; nevertheless we did not totally despair; and, at last, one night the confidante informed me, through a small window on the ground-floor, that in a few minutes she could introduce me to her mistress.

You must know that the passage in which I stood was extremely muddy, and it poured with rain so as to wet me to the skin. I bore all this for two hours with a patience which nothing but my extreme zeal and attachment for my master could have inspired. At length I heard Nicoleta call me. I obeyed her summons instantly, and was led by her through a little door, which was shut to again as softly as it was opened. “Guzman,” said she, “I will just run and let Fabia know that you are here, and she will be with you in an instant.” The voice of my charmer soon made me forget my late wetting, and I thought of nothing but the happy moment in which I should behold the lady who had so captivated my master, and the extreme joy with which I should acquaint him that I had been so happy as to obtain an interview. It was not long before Fabia really came with her maid. “Nicoleta,” said she, “while I am conversing with Signor Guzman, do you watch my husband’s chamber, and should he perchance ask for me, lose no time in letting me know.”

It is impossible for me to tell you whether Fabia was in reality beautiful or ugly, for she had thought proper to receive me in the dark, so that I could not even see her face. In a low voice she began by inquiring anxiously after my health. I followed her example, and added the finest compliment I could think of in behalf of my master, whom I represented as dying for love of her; notwithstanding which, it appeared to me that she paid but little attention to what I was saying, for she constantly interrupted me in the most pathetic parts of my speech. At length she said, “Signor Guzman, I trust you will excuse me if I do not listen to you in the manner you deserve; but I am extremely alarmed lest some of my husband’s spies should overhear our conversation. Walk on a little way,” continued she, “and you will enter a parlour, where I entreat you will wait for me; meantime, I will just see that all is right in the house, and shall soon be with you again. Be sure you make no noise.”

I was weak enough to believe what she said, and groped my way forward, as if I had been playing at blindman’s buff. But instead of reaching a parlour, I found myself in a back yard, the pavement of which was so dirty and slippery, that after a few steps I rolled into a heap of mud, and, in rising again, struck my head with such violence against a wall hard by, that I lay for some time without sense or motion. Having, however, somewhat recovered of this shock, I groped very carefully along the wall in search of the parlour I had been directed to, and at last entered at a little door which I found open, confident that I must then be right. Again I was mistaken, and had the consolation to find myself in a narrow passage, which was not six feet in length, on each side of which were two drains from the house-top, and as it still continued pouring with rain, they had so inundated this spot, that I found myself on a sudden up to my knees in water. I ran back instantly, in the hope of retreating as I had entered, but the door was no longer open. Either the wind had blown it to, or some one, who had followed me close behind all the while, which indeed is more probable, had served me this trick. Be that as it may, I found myself obliged to make up my mind to pass the night in this swamp, where, as soon as I ran from one drain which was pouring upon my head, I found myself saluted by the other. “Out of the frying-pan into the fire,” muttered I to myself. “Oh, night, almost as dreadful as that in which I was confined under a tub, or tossed by devils in a blanket!”

Disagreeable, however, as my present reflections were, they were nothing in comparison with those with which I awaited the morning. “Wretched Guzman,” said I, “thou art at last then fairly entrapped! Fabia’s husband will doubtless inquire your business here the first thing in the morning. And what answer can you make? If you should tell the truth, for the first time in your life, you will make your master and yourself the common talk of Rome. What answer can you make then, but that Nicoleta had invited you, and that you were under a promise to marry her? And even should they oblige you to keep your word, this misfortune would be preferable to having all your bones broken to make you confess the truth. But who knows that they will even ask me a single question? Perhaps murder and bury me on the spot. Nothing can be too bad to fear from a jealous Italian husband.”

With these frightful thoughts was I haunted until break of day, when I fancied, all of a sudden, that I heard the yard-door being softly opened, and I flattered myself, at first, that it must be either the waiting-woman or her mistress come out of compassion to deliver me from my confinement; but nothing was less in their thoughts. The door, however, was certainly open, though I could see nobody who could possibly have opened it. I soon found myself again in the yard which I had passed through overnight, and having pushed open another door which was only on the latch, I reached the spot where the confidante had conversed with me, and looking up at the window through which she had spoken to me, I thanked Heaven that I had escaped so easily. I returned quickly to my master’s house, and threw myself upon my bed, wrapped up warmly in the bed-clothes, not without serious apprehensions of a most violent cold.