CHAP. XXVII. Guzman continues playing his tricks at the Cardinal’s, who at length dismisses him.

The Cardinal was certainly the best master in the world. What infinite pains he took to make me an honest man! He would neither employ threats with me, nor order me to be beaten, lest I should be terrified, and run away from him; the mildness of his character prevented him from resorting to such means. He endeavoured to inspire me with a love of virtue by gentle remonstrances, and even by gifts. When I did any thing praise-worthy, which indeed happened very seldom, he never failed to reward me well for it. When he was at table, and thought I had a longing for any little tit-bit, he would give it me, and this condescension was generally accompanied by a little good-natured bantering. “Guzman,” said he, one day, giving me with his own hand a piece of tart: “receive this from me as a tribute, which I pay to preserve peace between us. The fate of Master Nicola makes me quake for the safety of my sweetmeats.”

It was thus that he condescended to familiarize himself with his servants; who, delighted with so kind a master, would almost have sacrificed their lives for his sake. If servants generally dislike those masters who treat them harshly, on the other hand, those masters, who are kind to their servants, are always sincerely beloved.

A short time after the barrel adventure, a large chest of sweetmeats, finely gilded, and curiously arranged in boxes, was sent to his Eminence from Genoa. His Lordship was more than usually pleased with them, as they came from a very dear relation, who made him a similar present every year. The sweetmeats were exquisitely good, but being put into boxes which were rather damp, it was necessary to place them in the sun, to take off the moisture which the boxes had communicated to them.

The Cardinal seemed at a loss to know where they should be put to be safe from my pilfering hands. Each of the servants gave his opinion, but there was not one amongst them bold enough to take charge of, and to answer for them. “Well, well,” said his Eminence, seeing me come in, (for I had been out of the palace while this consultation was going on,) here is Guzman, who will extricate us from this difficulty; my friend,” continued he, “we are at a loss for a proper place to dry these sweetmeats in; for I am excessively afraid of the rats!” “My Lord,” answered I, “nothing in the world can be easier than to hinder the rats from touching them: you have only to give them up to me and my companions.” “Very true,” replied the prelate smiling; “but though this may be a very certain method to keep them from the rats, I intend to try another, and am resolved to give them into your keeping. Take care to expose them to the sun every day; and see that you give a good account of them; you see what state they are in. You must watch without ceasing for their safety, and return them exactly as they are delivered to you, under pain of forfeiting my favor.” “Ah, my Lord!” cried I at these words, “you know not to what trial you expose the frail Guzman; I can guard well enough against the rats, and against the most cunning of my companions; but I cannot indeed guard against myself. I am, alas! an unhappy son of Eve, and if I find myself in a paradise of sweetmeats, ten to one but some unlucky serpent may tempt me. But yet, if your Excellency says to me, Guzman, I am content that you should eat my sweetmeats, provided, on opening the box, that it no where appears that they have been meddled with;—on this condition, I will take them under my care, and we shall both be satisfied.” “I consent to it,” answered the Cardinal; “you are dexterous enough for that, I will forgive you; but be assured, that if the theft can be perceived, you shall be chastised.” I undertook the commission on these terms. I opened and spread out the boxes one after another in a gallery that was exposed to the sun; and the beauty of these sweetmeats made a suitable impression on such a liquorish young rogue as I was. Nevertheless, whatever longing I had to taste them, I waited until they were a little drier: which being the case a few days afterwards, I thought of nothing but how I should manage to pilfer part of this fine fruit with impunity: and thus Mr. Enterprise went about it. I first shut up the boxes, which I then turned gently upside down; and then having drawn out with the point of a knife the nails which fastened the bottom of them, I took some sweetmeats from four boxes only. I then carefully filled up with paper the empty spaces, and restored the boxes to their original state. One evening as the prelate was taking his afternoon’s repast, for it was a fast day, I told him that I thought the sweetmeats were dry enough to be put away. “I need not ask,” answered he with a smile, “if you have eaten a good part of them.” “At least my Lord,” said I, “it does not appear so, if you look at them.” “We shall see,” said he, “let some of the boxes be brought here directly.” I took three of my companions into my room, where they were, and gave each of them one to carry, taking a fourth myself. These four boxes were those which had passed through my hands. I presented them to his Excellence, and asked him if he did not think that they appeared to be well preserved. He inspected them very narrowly, and seeing nothing to cause any suspicion, he said to me, “I shall be perfectly satisfied if all the others have been as well preserved as these: His curiosity was satisfied; he looked at those boxes which I had not touched, and after a long inspection, he confessed, “that if I had stolen any of the sweetmeats, it certainly was no where apparent.” Upon this I ran to my room, and placing the sweetmeats, which I had stolen, into a dish, I returned to shew them to the prelate, assuring him at the same time, “that I had not tasted his fruit, whatever longing I had for them, as he might easily ascertain.” I leave it to you to imagine the surprise of the Cardinal, and of all his domestics, who looking upon me as little less than a juggler, were more than ever on their guard against me.

We were made to study four hours a day: we were taught Latin, and even Greek; and we employed the rest of our time in reading amusing books, and in the instructions of the music and dancing master. Gaming, however, was still my favorite amusement; but we served a master whose character obliged us to be very cautious how we conducted these affairs; if he had had the least hint of such a thing, he would most likely have made a clear house of us all.

It was in this manner, that I spent my youth in the service of the Cardinal where it may be said truly, that I led a very agreeable life. Nevertheless, far from being happy, I imagined myself in cruel slavery. I was even foolish enough to regret twenty times having quitted the society of the beggars: I had also another cause for being tired of my situation as page: the beard on my chin convinced me that I was no longer a child, and I burned with desire to wear a sword.

It is time, said I, that I should begin to think of making my fortune; but far from thinking that I was in the best house possible to forward this design, and from following a line of conduct suitable to that idea, I devoted myself so incessantly to the gaming table that I neglected my duty. Not finding any one at home who would play deep enough for me, I contracted the habit of going into the city to seek for players, men to my taste, and did not return during the whole day. At length I carried this eagerness for play to such lengths, that his lordship hardly ever seeing me, insisted on being informed the reason of my being always abroad; and my companions were obliged to communicate it to him. He was truly displeased at it. He spared nothing to cure me of this pernicious habit; to accomplish which, he employed remonstrances, promises, and even prayers, but unfortunately all his pains were bestowed to no purpose.

One day, when he was discoursing about me to the principal officers of his household, he said to them: “since all the means which I have made use of to recal him to a sense of his duty have been hitherto useless, I will try another method that has just occurred to me. The next fault that he commits, he shall be sent from my palace, in order that we may see if this punishment will make any more impression on him, than all the lectures I have given him. I do not mean by that,” continued he, “to abandon him to want: his usual allowance shall be given him every day, and I will take care that he shall be informed, that I shall always be ready to take him into my service again, when he has changed his course of life.” O excellent prelate, whose extraordinary virtue is worthy of eternal praise!

It was not long before I furnished his excellency with an opportunity to make trial of the new method he had thought of to correct me. Two or three days after, I lost at play the whole of my clothes, not excepting my livery coat, so that I had nothing remaining to cover me, except my breeches and doublet, for which I could get no one to play. I returned to the palace in this condition, and shut myself up in my chamber. My master seeing such an instance of disorderly conduct, executed his design. He ordered the major-domo to replace the clothes I had lost, and then to dismiss me. The major-domo obeyed, and sending me away, told me that his Eminence loved me still in spite of my faults; and that he had given orders that I should have my meals at the palace as usual, and that he would receive me again among his domestics, when he was persuaded that I sincerely repented of my past course of life. Far from feeling grateful for this kindness of the holy prelate, I was so proud, or rather so foolish, as to spurn at it: and I went out of his house grumbling as if I had had great cause of complaint, and vowing that I would never enter his doors again. I thought indeed that he was very wrong to use me thus; and determined to revenge myself upon him by ruining myself.