INSTRUCTIONS TO A YOUNG ASPIRANT FOR OFFICE.

That you must cut all liberals whatever,

All men of genius, all the “dangerous” crew,

Not prate of books or papers, but endeavour

To prove that they are all High Dutch to you;

That you must bolt your heart, and hold your tongue,

You’ve known, yourself, I’m well aware, for long....

... Now, first and foremost, learn to bend your back!—

Be Veneration’s self personified.

77Dress ill; your clothes should fit you like a sack,

And always take some big-wig for your guide.

The cowl does make the monk in such a case,

And the wall’s valued by its plaster face....

Get introduced, and every blessed night

Visit some lout they’ve made a minister.

There choose your time, and change your stops aright,

According as his tastes or whims prefer.

And if tomfoolery’s the thing for winning,

Play the tomfool, and set the folks a-grinning.

Keep him supplied with news, and ferret out

Fresh scandal, gossip, all that folks will tell you;

And, so to speak, what the whole town’s about,

Down from His Highness even to Stenterello....^[10]

· · · · ·

Say there arise a scandal, a dispute,

A hurly-burly in your patron’s house,—

“Know-nought knew much, who knew when to be mute,”

Says the old saw. Be mute, then, as a mouse!

Great men will sometimes act like fools, ’tis certain,

In their own homes. Be ours to—drop the curtain!

Jump at all hints. Keep begging every way.

Take all they give you, so they let you serve;

But—beg! “The toad refused to beg,” they say,

“And therefore got no tail.” Besides, observe

That, if not propped and fostered by our need,

Great men’s authority’s a dream indeed.

Remember to ignore and overpass

Each rude rebuff, each peevish look and tone,

And, like Pope Sixtus, write yourself an ass

If you’re resolved to reach your papal throne.

After the bitters, sweets will come at length,

And sturdy begging beat close-fisted strength.

78With profit Gingillino did attend

To the sage preaching of his vulpine friend.

He went; he knuckled down; he bared his crown;

He crept, crawled, coaxed, and cringed to sword and gown;

And when they’d dried him, tried him, sifted him, drifted him,

From Dan to Beersheba, at last they lifted him—

When the whole process they’d gone through and through,

With rites baptismal and with chrismal too—

Their heaven of three-piled roguedom to ascend,

Took him within the fold—and that’s his end!

Giuseppe Giusti.