Act 4 — Transcription of texts inside illustrations
Reading edition
Page 24.
I cannot tell, what you and other men Think of this life; but, for my single self, I had as lief not be, as live to be In awe of such a thing as I myself.
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Page 25.
OWING TO A SPRAINED ANKLE, AN ACTRESS PLAYED CARMEN IN A BATH CHAIR
SIGNOR BELLOWNI HAD A SORE THROAT THE OTHER NIGHT, BUT HE PLUCKILY WENT THROUGH HIS PART WITH THE AID OF A MACHINE
ARE YOU RIGHT SIR? ALTHOUGH SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE ATTACK OF GOUT, MR BUSKIN PLAYED ROMEO MANFULLY
AITCHOO! INFLUENZA DID NOT PREVENT MR YELLOWCHEEK FROM GOING THROUGH HIS FAVOURITE PART OF HAMLET LAST NIGHT
SIGNOR SQUALLO HAS BEEN CONFINED TO HIS BED WITH PNEUMONIA, BUT WE ARE GLAD TO SAY HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE A VERY SUCCESSFUL APPEARANCE AS MEPHISTOPHELES
SUCCESS ATTENDED SIGNOR TOPNOTO’S IMPERSONATION OF TRISTAN, THOUGH HE WAS NURSING A BAD COLD IN THE HEAD.
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Page 27.
“HOORAY!” “SPLENDID!” “BRAVO!” STEALS SOMEONE ELSE’S GIRL
“WELL DONE!” “I HOPE HE WON’T BE FOUND OUT!” “HOW DARING HE IS!” STEALS HER FATHER’S PICTURES
“GOOD!” “ISN’T HE A SPORTSMAN!” “WHAT A SPLENDID FELLOW!” STEALS HER TIARA
“FINE!” “I HOPE HE’LL ESCAPE!” “HOW NOBLE!” ESCAPES FROM POLICE IN A MOTOR CAR
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Page 31.
THE LIGHTING OF THE HOUSE IS SURE TO RECEIVE ATTENTION
MR BUSKIN M.P. HURRIES TO THE HOUSE AFTER A MATINÉE TO VOTE FOR HIS PARTY “DISGRACEFUL COSTUME” “OUGHT NOT TO BE ALLOWED!” “LOWERS THE DIGNITY OF THE HOUSE!”
DIGNIFIED EXIT OF MR GARRICK-KEAN M.P. AFTER AN UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE THE ATTENTION OF THE HOUSE. “CHAIR” “BOO” “ORDER” “NO MATTER-R-R! A TIME WILL COME!”
“WHERE’S THE PROMPTER?” A MAIDEN SPEECH
“HA! HA!” “HA! HA!” “HA! HA!” EFFECT OF A LOW COMEDIAN ON THE HOUSE
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Page32.
WE SHALL SOON SEE ACTORS WEARING MASKS OUT OF DOORS
THE ACTOR-MANAGER WILL REFUSE LIMELIGHT “THIS PART OF THE STAGE WILL DO FOR ME”
THIS WILL BE A QUITE USUAL OCCURRENCE ON FIRST NIGHTS “MR GARRICK-KEAN IS NO LONGER IN THE HOUSE!”
THE GENERAL APPEARANCE OF THE ACTOR WILL CHANGE FROM THIS-- TO THIS--
THIS MAY POSSIBLY HAPPEN “NO, I’VE TAKEN ONE CALL, LET SOMEONE ELSE GO FORWARD NOW!”
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Page 35.
“BE OFF, OR I’LL CALL IN THE POLICE!” “WHAT CHEEK!” “WANTS TO BUY A SEAT!” “WHAT IMPUDENCE!” WHEN BUSINESS IS GOOD
“LET ME TAKE YOUR COAT, SIR!” “DO TAKE A PROGRAMME, SIR!” “ANY SEAT YOU LIKE, SIR!” “COME IN MY DEAR SIR. DON’T GO AWAY!” WHEN BUSINESS IS BAD
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Page 39.
“COME AND LUNCH WITH ME AT THE ACTORS’ CLUB”
“HULLO, OLD MAN, SEEN ME IN MY NEW PART? BIGGEST SUCCESS OF MODERN TIMES!”
“HULLO, DEAR BOY, SEEN MY ROMEO? FINEST EVER KNOWN--BRINGS THE HOUSE DOWN EVERY NIGHT!”
“I TELL YOU, OLD BOY, MY SHOW IS THE FUNNIEST IN LONDON. I’M SIMPLY GREAT IN IT!”
“SMITH’S HAMLET ISN’T IN IT WITH MINE!”
“COME AND LUNCH WITH ME AT THE ACTORS’ CLUB”
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Page 56.
IT IS A STRANGE IDIOSYNCRACY OF CERTAIN THEATRE-GOERS THAT THEY WILL HUSTLE AND PUSH AND FIGHT TO LEAVE THEIR SEATS BEFORE THE CURTAIN GOES DOWN—
—IN ORDER TO STAND AT THE ENTRANCE AND PREVENT OTHERS FROM LEAVING THE THEATRE
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Page 57.
CALL BOY CHARWOMAN SUPERS STAGE CARPENTER SCENE SHIFTERS BOOT MAKER TAILOR UPHOLSTERER WIG MAKER LIMELIGHT MAN PROMPTER GAS FITTER TROMBONE
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Page 116 top.
LITERATURE: we shall all be run down & devoured!!—there won’t be a bit of us left for succedding ages!—the dogs nowadays have got such large Capacities!!
Left hand baby: FIRST STEPS TO LEARNING
Right hand baby: READING MADE EASY
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Page 116 bottom.
Flag: We are the boys
Book title: NEW HORN BOOK EVERY MAN his own TRUMPETER.
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Page 118.
You see Gran Ma, before you suct this Egg, or, more properly speaking before you extract the matter contained within this shell by suction, you must make an incision at the Apex & a Corresponding aperture at the base.
Aye, Dear—How very clever!!—they only used to make a hole at each end in my time—Well I declare they are making improvments in everything.
Book: WHO KILLED COCK ROBIN
Books in toy basket: amongst others THEOLOGY, SHAKESPEARE, EUCLID, BOYLE, BENTLEY, MILTON, HUME
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Page 178.
Now mind, you are to make me appear as usgly as you can—aye—you may stare!—but you must know that I am the only one that dislikes flattery. In fact, I want every-body to laugh at me—so the more ridiculous you make methe better I shall like it
It’s an odd request! But I’ll do my best
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Page 190 top.
WAITING FOR A SEAT
THE FIGHT ROUND THE TEA ROOM
Charming! How nice How pretty! Quite nice
TRYING TO GET A GLIMPSE OF THE PICTURES
OH MY HEAD! GOING
HOME
NEXT DAY
OH MY HEAD! GOING
HOME
NEXT DAY
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Page 249.
Pa. By Bobby Grandpa. By Bobby
Ma. By Bobby Sister. By Bobby
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Page 287.
♫ SING HO! FOR THE LIFE OF A CLERK ♫ ♫ TRA-LA ♫
♫ WE ARE BARRISTERS BOLD AND FREE ♫ ♫ YES BOLD AND FREE ♫ ♫ WHO SO FREE IN THE LAND! ♫
♫ WE’VE GOT NO WORK TO DO-O ♫ ♫ OH A LIFE ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE ♫
♫ THE LIFE OF A TYPIST IS GAY ♫ ♫ TRA-LA-LA! ♫
♫ MERRY SHOP GIRLS ARE WE ♫ I SAID HANDKERCHIEFS
♫ YO-HO! YO-O HO! ♫ ♫ NOW WHO’S FOR THE BA-ANK! ♫
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