'ARRY IN ROME AND LONDON
Reading edition
A kind correspondent calls Mr. Punch's attention to the fact that 'Arry the ubiquitous crops up even in the classics as Arrius, in fact, in Carmen lxxxiv. of Catullus. How proud 'Arry will be to hear of his classical prototype! Our correspondent "dropping into verse," exclaims:—
Yes! Your Cockney is eternal; Arrius speaks in 'Arry still; Vaunts 'is "hincome" by paternal "Hartful" tricks hup 'Olborn 'Ill.
How well he is justified may be seen by a glance at the text of Catullus:—
DE ARRIO.
"Chommoda" dicebat, si quando commoda vellet Dicere, et "hindsidias" Arrius insidias: Et tum mirifice sperabat se esse locutum. Cum, quantum poterat, dixerat "hinsidias." Credo, sic mater, sic Liber avunculus ejus. Sic maternus avus dixerit, atque avia.
Catullus, Carmen lxxxiv.
Which—for the benefit of 'Arry himself, who is not perhaps familiar with the "Lingo Romano"—though he may know something of a "Romano" dear to certain young sportsmen, though not dearer to them than other caterers—may thus be very freely adapted:—
'Arry to Hoxford gives the aspirate still He cruelly denies to 'Igate 'Ill; Yet deems in diction he can ape the "swell," And "git the 'ang of it" exceeding well. Doubtless his sire, the 'atter, and his mother, The hupper 'ousemaid, so addressed each other; For spite of all that wrangling Board Schools teach, There seems heredity in Cockney speech.
Commercial Intelligence.
According to a trade circular issued by a Cockney company, Florence and Lucca, whence the finer description of oils have been heretofore imported, are threatened with a vigorous competition by the Iles of Greece.
The Richest Dish in the World.—The "weal" of fortune.
'Arry's Motto.—"Youth on the prowl and pleasure at the 'elm."
Lady. "Half-a-crown, indeed! Your fare is eighteen-pence. I looked it up in Bradshaw."
Cabman. "Well, to be sure! Wot a good wife you would 'ave made for a pore man!"
Back to the Land.
Farmer's Wife (who has told the new lad from London to collect eggs). "Well, Jack, have you got many?"
Jack (who has raided a sitting hen). "Rauther! One old 'en she's bin and layed thirteen, and I don't think she's finished yet!"