Act 2 — Scene II.—Another part of the Island.

Enter Caliban, with a burden of wood. A noise of Thunder heard.

Cal. All the infections that the Sun sucks up From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him By inch-meal410-1 a disease! His spirits hear me, And yet I needs must curse. But they’ll nor pinch, Fright me with urchin-shows,410-2 pitch me i’ the mire, Nor lead me, like a fire-brand,410-3 in the dark Out of my way, unless he bid ’em: but For every trifle are they set upon me; Sometime410-4 like apes, that mow410-5 and chatter at me And after bite me; then like hedgehogs, which Lie tumbling in my barefoot way, and mount Their pricks411-6 at my foot-fall; sometime am I All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues Do hiss me into madness. Lo, now, lo! Here comes a spirit of his; and to torment me For bringing wood in slowly. I’ll fall flat: Perchance he will not mind me.411-7

Enter Trinculo.

Trin. Here’s neither bush nor shrub, to bear off411-8 any weather at all, and another storm brewing; I hear it sing i’ the wind: yond same black cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul bombard411-9 that would shed his liquor. If it should thunder as it did before, I know not where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by pailfuls.—What have we here? a man or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind of not-of-the-newest poor-john.411-10 A strange fish! Were I in England now, as once I was, and had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of silver: there would this monster make a man; any strange beast there makes a man:411-11 when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Legg’d like a man! and his fins like arms! Warm, o’ my troth! I do now let loose my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish, but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a thunder-bolt. [Thunder.] Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to creep under his gaberdine;412-12 there is no other shelter hereabout: misery acquaints a man with strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the dregs of the storm be past.

[Creeps under Caliban’s garment.

Enter Stephano, singing; a bottle in his hand.

Steph. I shall no more to sea, to sea, Here shall I die ashore;—

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral: well, here’s my comfort. [Drinks.

[Sings.] The master, the swabber,412-13 the boatswain, and I, The gunner, and his mate, Loved Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery, But none of us cared for Kate; For she had a tongue with a tang,412-14 Would cry to a sailor, Go hang! She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch: Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

This is a scurvy tune too: but here’s my comfort. [Drinks.

Cal. Do not torment me:—O!

Steph. What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon’s with savages and men of Inde,413-15 ha? I have not ’scaped drowning, to be afeared now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall be said so again, while Stephano breathes at’s nostrils.

Cal. The spirit torments me:—O!

Steph. This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the Devil should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he’s a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat’s-leather.413-16

Cal. Do not torment me, pr’ythee: I’ll bring my wood home faster.

Steph. He’s in his fit now, and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him;413-17 he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.

Cal. Thou dost me yet but little hurt; Thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: Now Prosper works upon thee.

Steph. Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that which will give a language to you, cat:413-18 open your mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly: [Gives him drink.] you cannot tell who’s your friend; open your chops again. [Gives him more drink.

Trin. I should know that voice: it should be—but he is drown’d; and these are devils:—O, defend me!

Steph. Four legs, and two voices—a most delicate monster? His forward voice now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague: [Gives him drink.]—Come,—Amen!414-19 I will pour some in thy other mouth.

Trin. Stephano!

Steph. Doth thy other mouth call me?—Mercy, mercy! This is a devil and no monster: I will leave him; I have no long spoon.414-20

Trin. Stephano!—If thou be’st Stephano, touch me, and speak to me; for I am Trinculo,—be not afeared,—thy good friend Trinculo.

Steph. If thou be’st Trinculo, come forth: I’ll pull thee by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo’s legs, these are they. [Pulls Trinculo out.] Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How earnest thou to be the siege414-21 of this moon-calf?414-22

Trin. I took him to be kill’d with a thunder-stroke. But art thou not drown’d, Stephano? I hope, now, thou art not drown’d?415-23 Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the dead moon-calf’s gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans ’scaped!

Steph. Pr’ythee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.415-24

Cal. [Aside.] These be fine things, an if415-25 they be not sprites. That’s a brave god, and bears celestial liquor: I will kneel to him.

Steph. How didst thou ’scape? How camest thou hither? swear, by this bottle, how thou camest hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack,415-26 which the sailors heaved o’erboard, by this bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree with mine own hands, since I was cast ashore.

Cal. I’ll swear, upon that bottle, to be thy True subject; for the liquor is not earthly.

Steph. Here; swear, man, how thou escapedst.

Trin. Swam ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a duck, I’ll be sworn.

Steph. Here kiss the book. [Gives him drink.] Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made like a goose.

Trin. O Stephano, hast any more of this?

Steph. The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the sea-side, where my wine is hid.—How now, moon-calf! how does thine ague?

Cal. Hast thou not dropp’d from heaven?

Steph. Out o’ the Moon, I do assure thee: I was the Man-i’-the-moon when time was.

Cal. I’ve seen thee in her, and I do adore thee: My mistress show’d me thee, and thy dog, and thy bush.416-27

Steph. Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish it anon with new contents: swear.

[Gives Caliban drink.

Trin. By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!—I afeared of him!—a very weak monster!—The Man-i’-the-moon!—a most poor credulous monster!—Well drawn,416-28 monster, in good sooth.

Cal. I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’ the island; And I will kiss thy foot: I pr’ythee, be my god.

Trin. By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster! when his god’s asleep, he’ll rob his bottle.

Cal. I’ll kiss thy foot; I’ll swear myself thy subject.

Steph. Come on then; down, and swear.

Trin. I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to beat him,—

Steph. Come, kiss. [Gives Caliban drink.

Trin.—but that the poor monster’s in drink: an abominable monster!

Cal. I’ll show thee the best springs; I’ll pluck thee berries; I’ll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough. A plague upon the tyrant that I serve! I’ll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee, Thou wondrous man.

Trin. A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard!

Cal. I pr’ythee, let me bring thee where crabs grow; And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;417-29 Show thee a jay’s nest, and instruct thee how To snare the nimble marmozet; I’ll bring thee To clustering filberts, and sometimes I’ll get thee Young staniels417-30 from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

Steph. I pr’ythee now, lead the way without any more talking. Trinculo, the King and all our company else being drown’d, we will inherit here. Here, bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we’ll fill him by-and-by again.

Cal. [Sings drunkenly.] Farewell, master; farewell, farewell.

Trin. A howling monster; a drunken monster!

Cal. No more dams I’ll make for fish; Nor fetch in firing at requiring; Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish: ’Ban, ’Ban, Ca—Caliban Has a new master; get a new man. Freedom, hey-day, hey-day, freedom! freedom, hey-day, freedom!

Steph. O brave monster! lead the way.

[Exeunt.