Volume 5 — The Great BOOBEE.

[Listen]

MY Friend if you would understand, My Fortunes what they are; I once had Cattle House and Land, But now I am never the near: My Father left a good Estate, As I may tell to thee; I couzened was of all I had, Like a great Boobee. I went to School with a good intent, And for to learn my Book; And all the Day I went to play, In it I never did look: Full seven Years, or very nigh, As I may tell to thee; I could hardly say my Criss-Cross-Row, Like a great Boobee. My Father then in all the hast, Did set me to the Plow; And for to lash the Horse about, Indeed I knew not how: My Father took his Whip in Hand, And soundly lashed me; He called me Fool and Country Clown, And a great Boobee. But I did from my Father run, For I would Plow no more; Because he had so lashed me, And made my sides so sore: But I will go to London Town, Some Fashions for to see; When I came there they call’d me Clown, And a great Boobee. But as I went along the Street, I carried my Hat in my Hand, And to every one that I did meet, I bravely Buss’d my Hand: Some did laugh, and some did scoff, And some did mock at me; And some did say I was a Woodcock, And a great Boobee. Then I did walk in hast to Paul’s The Steeple for to view; Because I heard some People say, It should be builded new; Then I got up unto the Top, The City for to see; It was so high it made me cry, Like a great Boobee. From thence I went to Westminster, And for to see the Tombs: Oh, said I, what a House is here, With an infinite sight of Rooms: Sweetly the Abby Bells did Ring, It was a fine sight to see; Methought I was going to Heav’n in a String, Like a great Boobee. But as I went along the Street, The most part of the Day; Many Gallants I did meet, Methought they were very gay: I blew my Nose and pist my Hose, Some People did me see: They said I was a Beastly Fool: And a great Boobee. Next Day I thro’ Pye-corner past, The Roast-meat on the Stall; Invited me to take a Taste, My Money was but small: The Meat I pickt, the Cook me kickt, As I may tell to thee; He beat me sore and made me roar, Like a great Boobee. As I thro’ Smithfield lately walkt, A gallant Lass I met: Familiarly with me she talk’t, Which I cannot forget: She proferr’d me a Pint of Wine, Methought she was wondrous free, To the Tavern then I went with her, Like a great Boobee. She told me we were near of Kin, And call’d for Wine good store; Before the Reckoning was brought in, My Cousin prov’d a Whore: My Purse she pickt, and went away, My Cousin couzened me, The Vintner kickt me out of Door; Like a great Boobee. At the Exchange when I came there, I saw most gallant things; I thought the Pictures living were, Of all our English Kings: I doft my Hat and made a Leg, And kneeled on my Knee; The People laugh’d and call’d me Fool, And a great Boobee. To Paris-Garden then I went, Where there is great resort; My Pleasure was my Punishment, I did not like the Sport: The Garden-Bull with his stout Horns, On high then tossed me; I did bewray my self with fear, Like a great Boobee. The Bearward went to save me then, The People flock’d about; I told the Bear-Garden-Men, My Guts they were almost out: They said I stunk most grievously, No Man would pity me; They call’d me witless Fool and Ass, And a great Boobee. Then o’er the water I did pass, As you shall understand; I dropt into the Thames, alass, Before I came to Land: The Waterman did help me out, And thus did say to me; ’Tis not thy fortune to be drown’d, Like a great Boobee. But I have learned so much Wit, Shall shorten all my Cares; If I can but a Licence get, To play before the Bears: ’Twould be a gallant Place indeed, As I may tell to thee: Then who dares call me Fool or Ass, Or great Boobee.