Volume 5 — A Song. Set by Mr. JOHN ISUM.

[Listen]

CÆLIA’s Charms are past expressing, Were she kind as she is Fair; Cælia’s Charms are past expressing, Were she kind as she is Fair: Heav’ns cou’d grant no greater Blessing, Nor Earth a Nymph more worth our Care; Heav’ns cou’d grant no greater Blessing, Nor Earth a Nymph, nor Earth a Nymph more worth our Care. But Unkindness, Unkindness mars her Beauty, And useless makes that Heav’nly, That Heav’nly, that Heav’nly frame; But Unkindness mars her Beauty, And useless makes that Heav’nly, Heav’nly frame: While she mistakes and calls that Duty, Which ill Nature others name: While she mistakes and calls that Duty, Which ill Nature others name.

The Hopeful Bargain: Or a Fare for a Hackney-Coachman, giving a Comical relation, how an Ale-draper at the Sign of the Double-tooth’d Rake in or near the new Palace-yard, Westminster, Sold his Wife for a Shilling, and how she was sold a Second time for five Shillings to Judge; My Lord —— Coachman, and how her Husband receiv’d her again after she had lain with other Folks three Days and Nights, &c. The Tune Lilly Bullero.

[Listen]

THERE lives an Ale-draper near New-palace-yard, Who used to Jerk the Bum of his Wife; And she was forced to stand on her Guard, To keep his Clutches from her Quoiff: She poor Soul the weaker Vessel, To be reconcil’d was easily won; He held her in scorn, But she Crown’d him with Horn, Without Hood or Scarff, and rough as she run. He for a Shilling sold his Spouse, And she was very willing to go; And left the poor Cuckold alone in the House, That he by himself his Horn might blow: A Hackney Coachman he did buy her, And was not this a very good Fun; With a dirty Pinner, As I am a Sinner, Without Hood or Scarff, but rough as she run. The Woman gladly did depart, Between three Men was handed away; He for her Husband did care not a Fart, He kept her one whole Night and Day: Then honest Judge the Coachman bought her, And was not this most cunningly done? Gave for her five Shilling, To take her was willing, Without Hood or Scarff, &c. The Cuckold to Judge, a Letter did send, Wherein he did most humbly crave; Quoth he, I prithee, my Rival Friend, My Spouse again I fain would have: And if you will but let me have her, I’ll pardon what she e’er has done; I swear by my Maker, Again I will take her, Without Hood and Scarff, &c. He sent an old Baud to interceed, And to perswade her to come back; That he might have one of her delicate breed, And he would give her a ha’p’uth of Sack: Therefore prithee now come to me, Or else poor I shall be undone: Then do not forgo me, But prithee come to me, Without Hood or Scarff, tho’ rough, &c. The Coachman then with much ado, Did suffer the Baud to take her out; Upon the Condition that she would be true, And let him have now and then a Bout: But he took from her forty Shillings, And gave her a parting Glass at the Sun; And then with good buyt’ ye, Discharged his Duty, And turn’d her a grazing, rough as she run. The Cuckold invited the Coachman to dine, And gave him a Treat at his own Expence; They drown’d all Cares in full brimmers of Wine, He made him as welcome as any Prince: There was all the Hungregation, Which from Cuckolds-Point was come; They kissed and fumbled, They touzed and tumbled, He was glad to take her rough as she run. Judge does enjoy her where he list, He values not the old Cuckold’s Pouts; And she is as good for the Game as e’er pist, Fudge on his Horns sits drying of Clouts: She rants and revels when she pleases, And to end as I begun, The Horned Wise-acre, Is forced to take her Without Hood or Scarff, and rough as she run.

The Maiden Lottery: Containing 70 Thousand Tickets, at a Guinea each; the Prizes being Rich and Loving Husbands, from three Thousand to one Hundred a Year, which Lottery will begin to draw on next Valentine’s Day.

Then pretty Lasses venture now, Kind Fortune may her Smiles alow.

[Listen]

YOUNG Ladies that live in the City, Sweet beautiful proper and Tall; And Country Maids who dabling wades, Here’s happy good News for you all: A Lottery now out of hand, Erected will be in the Strand; Young Husbands with Treasure, and Wealth out of measure Will fairly be at your Command: Of her that shall light of a Fortunate Lot, There’s Six of three Thousand a Year to be got. I tell you the Price of each Ticket, It is but a Guinea, I’ll vow; Then hasten away, and make no delay, And fill up the Lottery now: If Gillian that lodges in Straw, Shall have the good Fortune to draw A Knight or a ’Squire, he’ll never deny her, ’Tis fair and according to Law; Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot, There’s Ten of two Thousand a Year to be got. The number is Seventy Thousand, When all the whole Lot is compleat; Five Hundred of which, are Prizes most rich, Believe me for this is no Cheat: There’s Drapers and Taylors likewise, Brave Men that you cannot despise; Come Bridget and Jenny, and throw in your Guinea, A Husband’s a delicate Prize: Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot, There’s Ten of one Thousand a Year to be got. Suppose you should win for your Guinea, A Man of three Thousand a Year; Would this not be brave; what more would you have? You soon might in Glory appear: In glittering Coach you may ride, With Lackeys to run by your side; For why should you spare it? Faith win Gold and wear it; Now who would not be such a Bride? Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot, There’s Sixty, Five Hundreds a Year to be got. Old Widows, and Maids above Forty, Shall not be admitted to draw: There’s five Hundred and Ten, as proper young Men, Indeed, as your Eyes ever saw: Who scorns for one Guinea of Gold, To lodge with a Woman that’s Old; Young Maids are admitted, in hopes to be fitted, With Husbands couragious and bold: Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot, There are wealthy kind Husbands now, now to be got. Kind Men that are full of good Nature, The flaxen, the black, and the brown; Both lusty and stout, and fit to hold out, The prime and the top of the Town: So clever in every part, They’ll please a young Girl to the Heart; Nay, kiss you, and squeese you, and tenderly please you, For Love has a conquering Dart: Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot, There are Wealthy kind Husbands now, now to be got. Then never be fearful to venture, But Girls bring you Guineas away; Come merrily in, for we shall begin, To draw upon Valentine’s Day: The Prizes are many and great, Each Man with a worthy Estate; Then come away Mary, Sib, Susan, and Sarah, Joan, Nancy, and pretty fac’d Kate: For now is the time if you’ll purchase a Lot, While Wealthy kind Husbands they are to be got. Amongst you I know there is many, Will miss of a Capital Prize: Yet nevertheless, no Sorrows express, But dry up your watry Eyes: Young Lasses it is but in vain, In sorrowful Sighs to complain; Then ne’er be faint hearted, tho’ Luck be departed, For all cannot reckon to gain: Yet venture young Lasses, your Guineas bring in, The Lucky will have the good Fortune to win.