Volume 5 — Good Honest Trooper take warning by Donald Cooper. To the Tune of Daniel Cooper.
Reading edition
[Listen]
A Bonny Lad came to the Court, His Name was Donald Cooper, And he Petition’d to the King, That he might be a Trooper: He said that he, By Land and Sea, Had fought to Admiration, And with Montross Had many blows, Both for his King and Nation. The King did his Petition grant, And said he lik’d him dearly, Which gave to Donald more content, Than Twenty Shillings yearly: This wily Leard Rode in the Guard, And lov’d a strong Beer Barrel; Yet stout enough, To Fight and Cuff, But was not given to Quarrel. Till on a Saturday at Night, He walked in the Park, Sir; And there he kenn’d a well fair Lass, When it was almost dark, Sir; Poor Donald he Drew near to see, And kist her bonny Mow, Sir; He laid her flat Upon her back, And bang’d her side Weam too, Sir. He took her by the Lilly white Hand, And kiss’d his bonny Mary, Then they did to the Tavern go, Where they did drink Canary; When he was Drunk, In came a Punck, And ask’d gan he would Mow her; Then he again, With Might and Main, Did bravely lay her o’er, Sir. Poor Donald he rose up again, As nothing did him ail, Sir; But little kenn’d this bonny Lass, Had Fire about her Tail, Sir: When Night was spent Then Home he went, And told it with a Hark, Sir; How he did Kiss A dainty Miss, And lifted up the Sark, Sir. But e’er a Month had gone about, Poor Donald walked sadly: And every yean enquir’d of him, What gar’d him leuk so badly: A Wench, quoth he, Gave Snuff to me, Out of her Placket box, Sir; And I am sure, She prov’d a Whore, And given to me the Pox, Sir. Poor Donald he being almost Dead, Was turn’d out of the Guard, Sir; And never could get in again, Although he was a Leard, Sir: When Mars doth meet, With Venus sweet, And struggles to surrender; The Triumph’s lost, Then never trust A Feminine Commander. Poor Donald he went home again, Because he lost his Place, Sir; For playing of a Game at Whisk, And turning up an Ace, Sir; Ye Soldiers all, Both great and small, A Foot-man or a Trooper; When you behold, A Wench that’s bold Remember Donald Cooper.
