Part 3 — CHAPTER II THE TREATMENT OF PENITENTS IN DIFFERENT EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES

74. The Confession of Children.

The confessor must devote special care to the confessions of children, for this is a matter of much importance.⁠[936] As with adults, so with children, confession exercises a great influence upon the spiritual life, and forms a factor in their education which cannot be estimated too highly. For even a child can commit sins with full advertence or malice, and hence requires the Sacrament of Penance in order to recover the lost life of grace, and to obtain the necessary assistance in preserving itself from future sin. The child also has its temptations; evil inclinations and passions awaken in the child’s soul. Who does not know that many a child is entangled in a net of evil habits and occasions of the worst kind? In truth, the child stands much in need of supernatural strength in order to preserve its most precious treasure of innocence. This strength conferred by grace is more necessary to the child than all exhortations and instructions. A good confession will eradicate obstinate faults and evil habits which have long defied all the arts and wisdom of educational systems. Confession is in many cases the sole means of discovering in the child hidden and ruinous habits and of correcting them, thus safeguarding its innocence and purity. Even when parents and the other agencies of education, home influence and the school, fail in their duty, attaching importance only to the cultivation of the intelligence and to outward morality and propriety, the confessional can still be the child’s salvation by shielding its heart from evil. This great and fundamental significance of the confessional for the child and its education must be realized by the confessor. He will then readily undergo the labor involved in the preparation of children for confession, and the confessions themselves. Here, preëminently, he will scatter the good seed from which he may expect an abundant harvest. Here he is the true representative of the divine Friend of children, of Him who suffered the little children to come unto Him, of Him who uttered the momentous words: “He that shall receive one such little child in My name, receiveth Me” (Matt. xviii. 5; xix. 13-15).

I. The first consideration is the admission and the preparation of the children for confession.

In the admission to confession, age must certainly be considered, but not chiefly; the mental capacities and development must be taken into account. The declaration of the IV. Council of the Lateran that a child is bound to receive the Sacrament of Penance as soon as it has reached the years of discretion (anni discretionis) is based on the nature of the case. But when this period arrives cannot be precisely stated in years and days; it depends much on individual circumstances. The seventh year is generally regarded by theologians as the limit, and they teach that a child who has completed the seventh year is bound to receive the Sacrament of Penance. And if a child has average mental capacity, has received religious training at home, and from the sixth year regular religious instruction at school, it can, and generally should, go to confession when it is seven years old, or even before this, as would be desirable if such a child were seriously ill, or if there were reasons for supposing that it had committed grave sin. In the latter event the child would be bound, in order to comply with the precept of the Church, to confess within a year.⁠[937] But as it happens that very many children are not sufficiently developed and instructed so early, it follows that the regular admission is left to the judgment of the priest. St. Charles Borromeo gave his clergy the following precept on this head: Qui ad septem aut octo annos pervenerint, pro modulo de necessitate et virtute sacramenti illudque frequentandi instruentur.⁠[938] And the Cologne Provincial Council of the year 1860 decrees that the first confession of children shall not be put off longer than the ninth year. The priest should certainly not delay the preparation of a child for his first confession any longer, unless its incapacity is demonstrated. With the seventh or eighth year the children should be admitted to instruction for confession, and if a child shows in the course of this instruction that it has arrived at a sufficient understanding of the Sacrament of Penance, it should be immediately prepared for it. But those children who are not qualified should take part in the preparation for the next (second) confession of the course, in order that they may be admitted then, or later, in any case as soon as possible, to this holy Sacrament. For the zealous priest will not only instruct the children concerning the Sacrament at the beginning of every school year, as is the regulation in many dioceses, but each reception (at least in the children’s first years) will be preceded by a solid preparation consisting in a general repetition of the essential truths. If the less gifted children are present at these instructions and preparations, and if special attention is given to them, they will soon be in a condition to make a good confession. The final decision concerning the capacity or incapacity of a child to receive absolution, or, in other words, concerning its dispositions, must be left to the confessor, who will and must arrive at some settled judgment on this point, and give absolution conditionally or unconditionally, or postpone it, as he shall find necessary.

The special instruction which precedes the children’s confession must be given according to a definite and practical plan, and with great care and prudence.⁠[939] At the outset the children must be solemnly admonished that they are shortly to be admitted to their first confession, and that for this purpose they are to receive a special instruction. The importance of this instruction must be impressed upon them as an initiatory preparation for the reception of the Sacrament, thus encouraging them to diligent application and attention. There is probably no religious instruction which more attracts little ones and more wins their interest, than the instruction for confession, on account of the exceedingly beautiful truths which are here discussed. It must be emphasized and brought home to the children that it is a great happiness, an unmerited favor to be cleansed from sin in the holy Sacrament of Penance; it would be ill timed to represent confession as something hard or difficult or as a kind of punishment. One must rather awaken enthusiasm within them, so that they may take pleasure in preparing themselves for it carefully, and they must be assured that the confessor will make easy everything which they think will be difficult in the confessional if only they show good will. Admission to confession must also be represented to them in the light of a distinction, and as a reward of diligence and attention.

As to the matter of the instruction,—the doctrine of the Sacrament of Penance must be treated thoroughly, clearly, attractively, and in a manner adapted to a child’s intelligence. Then the most important doctrines of the catechism with reference to confession must be repeated, especially the doctrine of God and His attributes; furthermore, the doctrine of sin and the Redemption. These truths are to be set forth in a manner at once easily intelligible to the mind and stimulating to the feelings. Particular care must be taken that the children learn to say correctly and with understanding the usual prayers before and after confession. It is very useful at the end of this instruction (of the remote preparation) and shortly before the confession, to make with the children an examination of conscience. In this manner as complete a confession as possible will result, and many abuses be prevented; especially will children not accuse themselves of things which they do not in the least understand and which they have not committed; while, at the same time, the suitable, intelligible, and becoming expressions for the different sins will be put into their mouths.⁠[940] Furthermore, it is much to be recommended that the children should, in common, be incited to contrition and purpose of amendment (say in the Church, immediately before confession) by laying before them the motives for contrition, and this slowly, intelligibly, and in a manner adapted to children; afterwards repeating to them a short and forcible formula of contrition and purpose of amendment, concluding with another short exhortation to sincerity in confession and to gratitude to God after the confession.⁠[941]

II. Treatment of children in the confessional.

If the children have been well prepared, the confessor’s work is much facilitated. But he must, nevertheless, always bear in mind the words of St. Alphonsus de Liguori: “The confessor must expend all his love on the children, and treat them in the gentlest manner possible.”⁠[942]

But even when there has been careful preparation the confessor must: (1) see that the confession is a complete one, and supply any possible defects in it; (2) instruct the child, and, if necessary, dispose it for absolution; (3) judge of his disposition, and, according to this judgment, give absolution conditionally or unconditionally or defer it.

In addition to the rules already laid down and discussed, the following special remarks will be serviceable:—

1. If the confession of the child is incomplete or vague, the confessor can easily discover the principal sins or at least sufficient matter by means of questions if the child has some little intelligence. He may ask the child if it has neglected daily prayers, if it has through his own fault missed Mass on Sundays or holidays (especially during vacation time); if it has behaved disrespectfully in Church, by laughing, talking, looking about, and disturbing others; if it has been disobedient and naughty towards his parents and superiors; if it has quarreled with his brothers and sisters and other children; if it has been angry or cursed in anger; if it has taken dainties by stealth or stolen; if it has lied and said untrue things of other children.⁠[943] Where there are grave sins, he must, of course, ask the number, if it was not stated; and he must insist upon the child’s examining itself concerning the number, and stating it as precisely as possible. Everything connected with children’s confessions must claim the confessor’s attention, but he must be especially careful that they learn to confess well. Children will have great difficulty in giving account of their thoughts, desires, and the intentions by which they have been influenced, and the confessor may thus find himself obliged to put questions on these matters.

2. If the child has made a definite confession, but the confessor still believes that there has been insincerity,—from false shame or fear, or, perhaps, from inability to make the sin known, it often requires great prudence to detect the sin omitted.⁠[944] It is mostly sins against the sixth and seventh commandments which, for the above reasons, children conceal. If the confessor therefore, suspects that a sin against the sixth commandment has been omitted, he must exercise prudence in two ways: first, that he does not, by unsuitable questions, make the child acquainted with sins of which it knows nothing, and that he does not put the questions in such a general way that they fail to disclose the sin. If the child confesses that it spoke immodest words, or did something immodest, or permitted it, the confessor must not at once conclude that he has to do with real sins against the sixth commandment; for sometimes children take unbecoming words, which are no sin against holy purity, for immodest words and confess them as sins; they also regard certain things as immodest actions which are by no means sinful,⁠[945] but on the contrary necessary. There is ground for this supposition especially when an otherwise good child accuses itself of having very frequently committed such sins.... The confessor may also ask the child if it knows what impurity is. As he must not investigate the matter further he must form his judgment in accordance with the whole confession or suspend a definite judgment; and he should not forget that it is better to leave a confession doubtfully complete than to expose innocence to danger by asking questions. But if he discovers that the case is really so, and that the child suffers from conscientia erronea on this point, he must suitably instruct it. If, however, it is clear the child has accused itself of sins against holy purity, and the confessor believes that real sins are in question,⁠[946] let him not fail to investigate what led up to them—a sinful, necessary, or voluntary occasion, or a vicious habit. Not infrequently the confessor will discover the distressing fact that home and school, instead of being nurseries of that flower of the virtues, the child’s innocence, are the cause of its destruction, either with or without the fault of parents or superiors; and this through sleeping together, the bad example or open seduction of corrupted brothers and sisters, some imprudence on the part of parents, or the talk, buffoonery, and doings of some tainted child at school. Such circumstances will not only awaken deep and painful regret in the confessor, but also his endeavors as physician of the soul, to help and heal, and save the poor child from complete ruin. He must here apply with special care and prudence the rules concerning occasions and sinful habits. If the confessor perceives that a child suffers from false shame, or that it is immoderately timid, he must seek to induce it to candor and confidence by kind persuasion, affectionate encouragement, or also by serious exhortation.

In the preparatory instruction the confessor must specially accentuate the seal of the confession, and not fail to represent the confessor to the child as the substitute of Christ, who, like our divine Savior, receives children (and children who have sinned also) as a loving father, and as the Good Shepherd rejoices over the return of the child by a sincere confession.

3. If a child has concealed a sin against the seventh commandment, it is easier for the confessor to discover the insincerity. He must ask what was stolen, where and from whom it was stolen, if other things than eatables were stolen, what was done with them, etc. Stealing and eating dainties by stealth generally go together, as the longing for these dainties often makes the child a thief. Another form of theft is keeping back money when parents or others have sent the child to make purchases. Study and experience, especially in the cure of souls, and light from above, for which the confessor must always pray before confessions and during them in more difficult cases, will enable him to discover other points which cannot be here discussed.

The next task of the confessor is to instruct the child, to prescribe remedies, and to dispose it for the absolution. The sins which have been confessed will furnish the occasion for the instruction; but instruction concerning the necessary truths of faith may also be required, especially when absolution cannot be deferred. The confessor must particularly inform the child concerning the malice and hatefulness and evil consequences of its sins; then also concerning the beauty and rewards of virtue and the duties of its station. Nor should he fail to remind the children of their sublime pattern, the divine Child Jesus. The confessor should inspire them with love and confidence in the Blessed Virgin, their heavenly Mother, and teach them devotional practices in her honor and service. Finally, he should recommend to them, as a means of obtaining virtue, zealous and regular prayer, recollection of the presence of God, and avoidance of bad companions; and let him not tire of telling the children all this over and over again, and implanting it in their hearts. It will remain there, and in due time bring forth good fruit. Though he has imparted these precepts and exhortations during the religious instruction, he should repeat them at the confession in suitable form; they will be more effective there; but they must be adapted to the intelligence of the child and be short and forcible.

With the performance of this duty he must combine another, the healing of the wounds of the child’s soul. This healing begins with the acknowledgment of the evil in the examination of conscience and confession, is carried on by the sorrow, and completed by the absolution, through which grace is poured into the soul. By means of the instruction which the confessor gives the child, he will seek to move it to real sorrow and firm purpose of amendment. This is a principal task of the confessor in children’s confessions. How often and how easily the latter become invalid, or doubtfully valid, from the child’s having been too superficial and thoughtless in awakening sorrow and firm purpose, not having been properly attentive during the preparation, and having repeated an act of contrition and purpose of amendment more with the mouth than with the heart. The confessor must have due regard for this, and employ the necessary care for warding off such evil. If the immediate preparation for confession was a good one, he may set his mind at rest as regards most of the children; nevertheless he will here, once more, seek to move the child to sorrow and renewal of purpose in a few forcible words. But if the immediate preparation above described was entirely left to the individual children, and if the confessor has misgivings about it, he must supply what is wanting by short but earnest admonitions.

Let the confessor be persuaded that his endeavors are not in vain, and even if it should be his experience that the child has turned to no advantage these preparations for confession, let him not be disheartened. The child will recognize the representative of Christ in him better in the confessional than at the instruction, and if he speaks as such, inspired by a pure intention and a holy zeal for the love of Jesus, he may confidently expect that his words, aided by the grace of God, will make their way to the child’s heart, and there find fruitful soil. The child’s heart, though fickle and thoughtless, is not so insensible to contrition; the feeling of gratitude and love is there, and the love of God is more easily excited in it. Still easier will it be for the confessor to move the child to a firm purpose of amendment. In this work of healing he must pay special attention to certain sins, which often occur with children, and are particularly ruinous in them—lying, stealing, and impurity.

(a) If the child shows a tendency to lying, the confessor must first of all emphasize the sinfulness of lying, as it is often scarcely regarded as a sin and confessed as a matter of custom, in many cases, it must be feared, without due sorrow and purpose of amendment. He should point out to the child the particular hatefulness of lying, as expressed by the Holy Ghost in Holy Writ: “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord” (Proverbs xii. 22), and that “a lie is a foul blot in a man” (Eccles. xx. 26); that God, as the eternal truth, especially hates, detests, and punishes lying (Eccles. vii. 14); that men also detest a liar, for one who has once lied is not trusted again; that lying brings a child no good, as everything comes to light sooner or later.

(b) If the child has stolen something, the confessor must inquire concerning the cause of the theft. Causes of theft may be: Want, in the case of very poor children, who do not receive sufficient food, or who cannot procure the necessary articles for school use. This cause will be discovered without much difficulty by the question: “What did you steal?” “What did you do with the stolen money?” Of course such children must be treated leniently, but forbidden to steal again; at the same time they should be told that if they are again in need of anything, to come to him, the confessor (or the parish priest), and make known their trouble, and they will be helped. Sensuality may be another cause; inducing them to pilfer sweets, or buy them with stolen money. These children should be earnestly admonished, often to think that God sees them. Finally, a cause of stealing may be an innate or acquired tendency. In these cases the amendment of the child is very difficult, but the confessor should not give up hope, even when the tendency is deeply rooted. In the first place, he should point out to the child the sinfulness of stealing, and suggest the necessary measures (according to the circumstances) for overcoming and eradicating the evil—daily renewal of purpose and prayer for grace, recollection of the presence of God. If the children are induced by their parents to steal, the confessor can only command them not to obey their parents in future, and to declare that they must obey God who has forbidden stealing; the rest he must leave to the grace of God. If the child is led into stealing by others, it must, of course, give up all intercourse with them at once, and (according to the circumstances) inform parents and teachers of the fact. The duty of restitution is not to be imposed upon children, as they are generally incapable of making restitution,⁠[947] excepting the case where the child still possessed the stolen object; it should then be admonished to restore the object, in order effectually to deter it from stealing.⁠[948]

(c) The most dangerous and worst sin with children is that of impurity. If a child accuses itself of this, and if the priest believes that real sins of impurity are in question, he must investigate if the child has fallen into them through his own desire, or through the seduction of others. If the former is the case, the confessor should point out clearly and in a manner adapted to its comprehension, the heinousness of this sin, which ruins body and soul, and makes us, as does no other sin, an object of horror to an infinitely pure God. He should remind the child of our divine Redeemer at the pillar, where, by the dreadful pain and shame which He suffered, He atoned for this sin. All this he should set before the child in eloquent, impressive words, so that it may recognize how much his confessor detests these sins and loves the virtue of purity. Let the confessor take occasion to glorify this holy virtue, pointing out how much it is loved by God and man, how much praised by the Holy Ghost, how it ennobles a man, making him like the angels. This recommendation of holy purity will be especially fruitful if accompanied by a special devotion to holy and chaste young saints, especially to the Virgin of virgins, to St. Agnes, St. Aloysius, St. Stanislaus, and St. John Berchmanns. In this manner let him bring the child to a detestation of its sins, and to a firm and determined purpose of resisting wicked desires and all temptations of Satan, and to adopt the necessary means for this. As means of amendment he can prescribe according to circumstances: daily renewal of the good resolutions, daily prayer to the Blessed Virgin, frequent and regular reception of the holy Sacraments; especially confessions each time the sin is committed (this latter remedy is particularly to be recommended if the sin has already become habitual, or has led to pollution). Other devotional exercises are the honoring of St. Aloysius, especially by the six Sundays of Aloysius (the celebration of which may very well be recommended to older children); little mortifications for the purpose of overcoming sensuality are also very appropriate. If seduction by others was the cause of the fall, the confessor must direct the child to avoid intercourse with the evil companion; but if this is morally impossible (for instance, when older brothers and sisters, or children of the same school, are the seducers), he must give suitable rules by means of which the immediate occasion may become a remote one. Whether the child may be commanded to denounce the seducer to parents or superiors depends upon circumstances, and the priest must examine into these; a denunciation is a very efficacious means by which the sins of others also may be checked. He must then tell the child how it can do this.

The third task devolving upon the confessor is to judge of the child’s disposition, and according to his decision to give absolution or to defer it. If the child has made a sincere confession, answered candidly the confessor’s questions, listened attentively to his exhortations, said the act of contrition devoutly and earnestly, if its behavior has been generally good (before confession also, in the church, at the preparation), or if in answer to the confessor’s question it has declared that it was sorry for its sins, and that it wished to amend, the confessor may be satisfied as to its dispositions. If he still doubts as to the child’s dispositions (even after he has taken pains to dispose it, for, in doubt, the confessor must, as shown above, seek to dispose the penitent), or if he doubts as to the necessary usus rationis, and if the child will not come again for two or three months (as is mostly the case) or if it is in danger of death, he should give conditional absolution. This also is allowed (in a case of doubtful disposition) when the child has confessed venial sins only, and it is not likely that it will soon come to confession again. Concerning the postponement of absolution, see the principles laid down above, which apply here also.⁠[949]

As to the penance, let the confessor observe the teaching discussed above (§ 33). Let him be careful not to impose any severe penance upon the child, though it should be easier at one time, and severer at another, corresponding to the sins. Moreover the penance should not be extended over any long period, on account of the forgetfulness of children; nor be such as the child must perform before others, and thus be exposed to confusion.

In conclusion, we briefly refer to the question: How often should children confess? If there are diocesan regulations on this point,—and there are in most dioceses,—they must, of course, be observed. Where no such direction exists, the zealous and conscientious priest will—as confession is of such great importance for children, and as it is one of the most powerful means of preservation from sin and the practice of virtue, especially with those who have not yet made their first communion—assuredly be glad to follow the precept which St. Charles Borromeo gave to his clergy, namely, to induce children to confess frequently. Let confession four times a year be the rule, and if he considers it necessary, on account of particular circumstances, he will readily grant the children more frequent opportunities; those who are preparing for their first communion, especially, he will admit to confession frequently during the last year before the reception; say, every month, as is the regulation in some dioceses.⁠[950]

75. The Confession of Young Unmarried People.

Youth, the springtime of life, is the most beautiful, but at the same time the most dangerous, period of existence. The young man and the young woman, more or less removed from parental care and observation, come into closer contact with the world; many young people are obliged to leave the parental roof to learn a business or trade, or to earn money for their own support or for that of their relations, in factories, workshops, or in strange houses as servants. And the dangers which, either temporarily or constantly threaten them in these places, are not slight. Others, more happily situated, can remain at home, but even here they are not sheltered from all the dangers which the world, and contact with it, prepare for them. And youth is so trustful, so easily beguiled, dazzled, and misled; the youthful heart is so susceptible, the youthful ear so open, evil often finds its way to the guileless heart in the guise of what is good or harmless or indifferent; it is excused, or represented as necessary, whereas virtue is despised as weakness or reviled as folly, or denied as impossible. In the heart the passions and the sensual impulses awaken, while the enemy of all good constantly watches to achieve the ruin of the soul. The greatest dangers are pleasure, bad company, bad books, and human respect. Therefore is it so very important that the young should have an experienced, wise, circumspect confessor who knows youth well,—the youthful heart with its inclinations, the youthful mind with its aspirations and the dangers that beset its path; a confessor who can admonish, instruct, and guide it, incite it, and awaken its enthusiasm, restrain and warn it; who will hold fast to right principles, but enforce them with wise moderation; who will lead his young penitents into the ways of goodness and virtue without exciting their resistance—a confessor who has a warm heart for youth. Let him, therefore, gladly take upon himself the difficult but noble and blessed task of being a father and guide to youth. Of this labor St. John Chrysostom⁠[951] says truly: “What is equal to the art of guiding the souls of the young, of forming their minds and hearts? He who is equipped with the capacity for it must exercise more care than a painter or a sculptor upon his work.” That the confessor of young people may work with success it is necessary that he should win their hearts by the absolute confidence with which his truly fatherly love inspires them. Let him not repel these young people by cold, harsh treatment, but make due allowance for their weakness, their inexperience, their inconstancy; they will then follow his instructions, admonitions, and counsels with docility and with the enthusiasm which is peculiar to youth. Moreover, let him make the work of confessing easy to them so far as may be, in order that they may gladly and often confess and communicate. If it is possible, let him induce and accustom them to the constant habit of confessing every month, or at least every two or three months; for frequent confession and communion is of especial benefit to young people, in order—(1) to preserve them from sinful habits, for they will rise the quicker from sin the oftener they approach the Sacrament of Penance, and sin cannot settle into a habit if the heart is quickly cleansed from it. In any case the beginnings will be easily overcome. If, however, a sinful habit has already taken root, frequent confession and communion is the most certain, often the only, remedy. (2) By it they accustom themselves to pious exercises, which are learnt and performed more easily in youth than later on, and by continued practice they will be confirmed in piety, which is itself a firm support of weak and vacillating youth, a safe and protecting bulwark against danger.

(3) They will then also receive the holy Sacraments frequently in later life, and will be preserved from that pernicious fear of the confessional, from which so many men and women suffer in our days. For, as the Holy Ghost teaches, and experience proves, a youth will not forsake easily in old age the path which he trod in early years. But those who in youth seldom receive the holy Sacraments will, as experience also proves, shun confession more and more as age advances.⁠[952]

When the confessor has a suspicion that his young penitents have not confessed sincerely, he may (as it shall seem to him advisable, and having regard always to the rules applicable to questioning) ask if they have been much troubled by temptations against holy purity, if they have had intercourse with corrupt people, if they have read bad books? He may also ask, especially where the preceding questions were answered in the affirmative, if they have done anything immodest or permitted it? But in all these questions let the confessor be modest and careful in his expressions, lest he wound by awkward questions and teach the penitent some sin before unknown to him, or excite his curiosity. He will more easily attain to his end with young men, as these are generally more open than persons of the other sex. Sometimes young people of both sexes do not know what a sin of impurity is, although they accuse themselves of impure thoughts.

The faults peculiar to youth are:—

(a) Disobedience to parents and superiors, which results in much evil. The confessor must find out in what they have been disobedient—neglecting divine service, religious instructions and the holy Sacraments, attending forbidden entertainments, frequenting bad company, keeping up dangerous and sinful connections with persons of the other sex (familiarities, flirtations). Then let him point out the evil consequences of their disobedience, the obligation of obeying which still remains in force when they have become older, are earning money, or supporting their parents, in fact as long as they remain under parental control. He should remind them of the promises of the fourth commandment, and the threats of God against those children who disobey this commandment. At the same time let him instill in their hearts reverence and love for their parents and superiors. Then let him lay special stress upon sincerity toward parents, superiors, and the confessor; and inculcate a deep abhorrence of dissimulation and lying, which make the education, protection, and guidance of inexperienced youth impossible, and expose it to great dangers.

(b) Love of pleasure. It excites the young man (and also the young woman) to a craving for enjoyment, withdraws him more or less from useful pursuits. It leads the young man into dangerous society, the young woman into ruinous and sinful intimacies, which are secretly and prematurely carried on, and are fruitful in sins and excesses; it ultimately leads both of them into disobedience toward their parents, to lying, to extravagance, to deception and theft practiced on parents, and to still worse things. Moreover, it takes from them all devotion and fear of God.

(c) If love of pleasure appears more in young men, desire of pleasing is characteristic of young women; it induces vanity, levity, distraction, and sins against chastity. The confessor should combat these passions with all his zeal and show how they may be suppressed.

He should recommend to young people as excellent means of acquiring and cultivating the fear of the Lord and true virtue:—

1. Regular daily prayer, and attendance at divine service, Mass, sermons, and Christian instruction. As long as a young man or a young woman say their daily prayers and attend Mass, it is well with them; but as soon as they begin to grow negligent in these practices, it is a certain sign that they are no longer in the path of virtue, and if they have not yet reached the broad highway of vice, they are certainly on the road which very soon leads into it. Experience teaches that a man does not become all at once corrupt and wicked; he usually falls imperceptibly and by degrees. He no longer confesses and communicates regularly every four weeks,—first five elapse, then six or seven; morning and night prayers are no longer said punctually and kneeling,—they are sometimes omitted, shortened, said in bed, now and then the religious instruction and the afternoon devotion are missed, and excuses are forthcoming; at the same time there is no longer the earnest endeavor to resist temptation, there is no longer the same fear of sin. Upon the lesser negligences supervene greater ones, and upon the smaller faults greater sins. This is the usual progress. Let the confessor, therefore, urge punctual prayer and regular attendance at divine service.

Many young men and women cannot attend at Mass on weekdays; if they are absent from it on Sundays also, they are not only robbed of many necessary graces, but they neglect the first duty of man, the service of God, become more and more estranged from God and holy things, and in the same measure attached to the world and worldly things, with the result that sin and passion are more easily and more deeply rooted in them. If young people come with the excuse that they were obliged to work on Sunday, and therefore were not able to be present at Mass, the confessor must investigate the validity of this excuse and give the necessary directions and instructions. He should not be overready to admit its validity; in towns especially, by a little good will and zeal, though at cost of some effort, Mass may be heard before work begins. These same people will often deprive themselves of necessary rest when it is a question of pleasure! Work on Sundays is not always inevitable and absolutely necessary, and other situations are to be found in which it is not demanded. The confessor must inquire into all this.

2. Great esteem for holy purity and a great horror of impurity. For this purpose the confessor should encourage (a) the reading of good books, warn his penitents against idleness, and instill in them a love of virtue (§ 66, IV). He should also (b) caution them against sinful talk and familiar intercourse with persons of the opposite sex, and against bad company; this warning should be especially addressed to young women, who should also be admonished to be decent and modest, as becomes virtuous women, at all times and in all places—at work, at recreation, in the house, out of the house, in dress, and in manners; (c) he should endeavor, to the best of his ability, to keep them from dangerous pleasures, especially from theaters, dances, shows (§ 66, II. III), and certain pleasure trips, which, unfortunately, in our days are so general, and for which so many opportunities are afforded; indeed, he will be obliged to forbid many of them to certain penitents as they are for these penitents occasio proxima relativa; (d) he should also seek to hinder young men from joining certain societies, the principal object of which is pleasure, and which so often give occasion for profanation of Sundays and holidays and for other scandals, and in which the ruling spirit is not one favorable to religion and virtue. On the other hand, he should recommend them, and young women also, to join a well-conducted religious society or sodality; (e) he should induce them confidently to unfold to their confessors all their temptations, struggles, and difficulties; (f) finally, he should recommend and urge frequent reception of the holy Sacraments after careful preparation and an earnest endeavor to sanctify the day of communion.

But only the regular confessor can, in this prescribed manner, produce permanent effect upon young men and women. Only he who has known and guided his penitent a long time can effectively warn him against threatening dangers; and when the latter has gone astray, a confessor can easily lead him back, and preserve him from future dangers and relapse. It is, therefore, of the greatest importance that young people should not change their confessors without a good reason. They should be advised to choose a regular confessor and to give him their confidence, ready to submit with docility to his admonitions and precepts. But if his penitents confess once or twice to another priest, the permanent confessor must by no means express displeasure or irritation; under certain circumstances he must even express satisfaction at it, for it is better that they should confess sincerely to another priest than sacrilegiously to him. When they return to him he should show even greater love and concern for them, and resume their guidance with the accustomed conscientiousness. The priest to whom these penitents come without the knowledge of their former confessor must receive them kindly, dispose them, if necessary, and induce them to be sincere after they return to the former confessor.

The confessor must devote special attention to a vice with which so many young people are infected—the vitium pollutionis—in order to preserve those who are still untainted by this pest, and to deliver and cure those who are its victims. In a former section (§ 69, II) we have said what was necessary on this point, and enumerated the remedies which the confessor must apply to these unfortunate penitents.⁠[953] If the young penitents (male or female) are inmates of an educational establishment, the confessor must not overlook the possibility of particular friendships, as these prove to be very injurious. At first they are merely matters of fanciful preference, without harm. But later on such friends like to separate themselves from others when they are able to do so, and by degrees the relationship between them tends toward sensuality and to sins against purity. This evil the confessor must judiciously endeavor to avert; if he observes such friendships, he must demand that they be broken off, if necessary, under threat of refusing absolution. And if one of the parties continues to be a cause of temptation, he must be denounced to the Superior if this is possible. The confessor may be assured that only by legitimate severity will anything be accomplished in this matter.⁠[954]

76. The Confessor as Adviser in the Choice of a State of Life.

It will often happen that the confessor is in a position to help young people in the choice of a state of life; we will, therefore, lay down a few rules on the point.

1. The confessor is by his calling an adviser to his penitents in this matter; for he knows the souls of his penitents, their inclinations, faults, and weaknesses, and the duties of the different states of life. He is likewise apt to receive a special illumination of divine grace in the exercise of his office, and he is probably always the most impartial of those concerned in the decision of this question. Hence the penitent usually lays this question of his future before his confessor with the greatest confidence.

2. The right choice of a vocation is of supreme importance for a young man or young woman; upon it depend not only the temporal and eternal welfare of the party in question, but also the happiness and unhappiness of many others. The confessor ought, therefore, to expend very much care upon this question; he must consider, investigate, pray, and admonish the penitent to do the same. The decision of such a weighty matter should never be hasty. Noli præcipitanter agere; diu considera, magnum est, quod proponis, writes St. Bernard.⁠[955] The confessor must inquire into the abilities of the young man or woman, the moral condition, and also the exterior circumstances of the person; he must consider the question of means and foresee difficulties which may arise. He must then investigate if the intentions of the person in entering upon this state are pure and acceptable to God. Finally, he must have recourse to God in earnest prayer, that he may be able to give his penitent the right advice in so important a matter. Tria sunt difficilia mihi et quartum penitus ignoro, namely: viam viri in adolescentia (Prov. xxx. 18, 19). St. Philip Neri, the paternal friend and guide of youth, recommends in the choice of a vocation, time, prayer, and counsel.

3. The confessor should not seek to persuade young people to embrace some particular calling: “Circa statum ab aliquo adolescente eligendum non audeat Confessarius illum ei determinare, sed tantum ex indiciis curet suadere statum illum, ad quem prudenter judicare potest ipsum a Deo vocari,” is the admonition of St. Alphonsus to confessors.⁠[956] The confessor should, therefore, direct the young man to submit the matter to Almighty God, who determines the station in life of every individual, and teach him that each one must seek to know the will of God, and be ready to follow the divine call, whatever it may be, for a man can be permanently and truly happy only in that state which God has allotted him. He should admonish him to implore with perseverance light from on high, and to this end perform some special devotion—a novena to Our Lady of Good Counsel, or to St. Aloysius, the patron of youth, or to St. Joseph; to receive the holy Sacraments, and preserve himself from all grave sin, so as to place no obstacle in the way of the divine light of grace.

All this being done, the confessor can, trusting to the grace of God, give an answer which shall be, if possible, decisive. God is wont to make known to a man the station destined for him in a threefold manner: (a) by miracles, as He did in the case of St. John the Baptist, St. Paul, and many other saints; (b) by interior illumination and suggestion, by means of which the individual is enabled to recognize the will of God clearly, as we see illustrated in the lives of very many saints in quite a remarkable manner; (c) and generally, by means of outward circumstances, by pronounced inclination and special capacity for some state of life; among these circumstances may be reckoned the exterior providential guidance of men, which the world calls chance, but which the Christian enlightened by faith recognizes as the providence of God.

Respecting individual callings, the confessor should observe the following:—

I. Religious Orders.

If a young man or woman shows an inclination to enter a Religious Order and consults the confessor about the matter, the latter should first investigate if the penitent has the ordinary abilities for such a life, if he has sound judgment and a good character, if he is disposed to obedience, if he possesses relatively sufficient talent and knowledge, and if he is healthy. For one who is not of sound judgment is subject to many hallucinations, and St. Teresa used to say, very wisely, that she did not wish to have either scrupulous or melancholy persons in her Order, that is, such as were subject to these faults in a considerable degree, because such persons are a cause of much trouble both to themselves and the community. Those who have not good health will not be able to observe the general regulations of the establishment, and, therefore, will be more of a burden than a benefit to the community, and will not be able to set a good example. The priest should then test the penitent’s intention in entering the Order, to see if it is the right one, namely, to unite himself more intimately and closely to God, to atone for the errors and sins of his former life, and to avoid the dangers of the world. If the confessor should discover that the intention has been influenced by some such motive as the expectation of leading a life free from cares, or of escaping from the tutelage of harsh relations, or by desire of complying with the wishes of parents, he should proceed cautiously, for under the circumstances it may be suspected that there is no vocation.⁠[957] If, however, the intention is right, and there is no obstacle in the way, the confessor may not, and cannot, under grave sin,⁠[958] prevent or dissuade the person from following his vocation; nor may any one else do so. The confessor must also investigate if the purpose of the individual in question is firm and steadfast; in order to make sure of this, it is sometimes advisable to defer for a time the execution of the intention, especially if the confessor knows the young person to be rather fickle, or when the resolution to enter the Order was taken during a Mission, or under the influence of a Retreat, because resolutions are sometimes made on such occasions, which, when the first zeal has cooled down, are not kept.⁠[959] The confessor must be especially careful with penitents who, on account of frequent relapses into sins of impurity, give rise to the suspicion that they do not lead chaste lives; and also with those who have reached middle age, because it is to be presumed that, being settled in their habits and views, they would find obedience too difficult; finally, he should also be extremely careful with those who have already belonged to an Order, because these do not generally persevere, or are not adapted to a life in community.

When the confessor has satisfied himself, as far as possible, concerning the vocation for a Religious Order, he will have no difficulty in discovering to what Order the young person is called. Here he must pay special attention to the inclinations and dispositions of the candidate, and whether regular observance prevails in the Order under consideration. But as long as the question of the calling is not quite decided, he must insist: (1) that the person maintain silence with every one, even his parents, concerning it, till it is recognized as his vocation, and is to be carried out; (2) that he should persevere in prayer for guidance, and frequently receive the holy Sacraments; (3) that he should shun the distractions, pleasures, and vanities of the world, otherwise he will run the risk of losing his vocation.

II. The priesthood.⁠[960]

Holy Writ, both in the Old and New Testament, teaches that a vocation from God (vocatio divina) is necessary for receiving Orders (status clericalis). Our Savior Himself expressed this truth very clearly when He said to the first priests of the New Law: “Non vos me elegistis, sed ego elegi vos,” and His Apostle also, who writes: “Nec quisquam sumit sibi honorem, sed qui vocatur a Deo tanquam Aaron” (Heb. v. 4). The confessor must, therefore, carefully examine the candidate’s vocation to the priesthood; indeed, this investigation is even of greater importance than in the case of the candidature for a Religious Order. For if the religious takes upon himself greater burdens with regard to obedience and voluntary poverty, and if the love of community life and a submissive spirit is not to such a high degree necessary in the secular priest, yet greater dangers threaten the latter, and fewer safeguards are at his disposal than are possessed by the religious, who, in the rule of his Order and the regular life of a monastery, finds a powerful help.⁠[961]

The chief signs, by means of which the confessor may recognize a vocation for the priesthood, are: (1) right intention—not seeking a comfortable life, a future free from care, and honor in the eyes of the world, but only the honor of God, and the salvation of souls; (2) a persistent inclination to the spiritual state, joy in the spiritual life, and in the offices of the priesthood; (3) confirmed virtue (“virtus probata,” or probitas vitæ, positiva nempe, iis virtutibus subnixa, quæ dignum efficiant altaris ministrum); especially purity of heart, temperance, piety, modesty, and zeal;⁠[962] (4) ability to perform the duties of this station. As, in our days, nearly all who enter the clerical state wish to become priests also, and by far the greater number of priests have cura animarum, this ability consists in an average mental endowment and the necessary knowledge, joined to a love of ecclesiastical science, in prudent judgment and right conscience (very scrupulous youths are unsuitable). According to the teaching of St. Alphonsus, one who intrudes himself into the priestly office without a vocation cannot be acquitted of great presumption, as he exposes himself to the great danger of losing his own soul and of giving scandal to the faithful. He will, therefore, not be free from grave sin.⁠[963] But it sometimes happens that those who were certain of their vocation become doubtful and vacillate; temptations of the evil one arise and cause confusion; friends and relatives exert their influences in order to turn them from the spiritual state, joy in worldly pleasures and diversions makes itself felt; they fear and shrink from the duties of the office, thinking they will not be able to perform them, or they believe themselves unworthy to enter such a holy state. If a confessor finds a penitent tempted in this manner, he must try to inspire him with courage and confidence, make him understand that every state in life has its burdens, but that in none is the yoke lighter than in the one assigned by God. He should point out to him the deceits with which the enemy of all good and the “father of lies” so often confuses souls; remind him of the teaching of Jesus, that the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence and that only the violent carry it away, that he who will follow Jesus must take up his cross and carry it daily. At the same time he must recommend prayer and absolute submission to the will of God.

III. The state of virginity (status virginitatis in sæculo).

If a woman living in the world has a serious wish to preserve virginal purity, the confessor must confirm and support her in so good and salutary a resolution, for it is very pleasing to Jesus, the lover of pure souls. It offers a safer and easier way to holiness, and the state of virginity by far exceeds in merit and dignity that of matrimony. The confessor should, however, only allow those to take the vow of perpetual virginity whom he knows to be truly steadfast in piety and virtue, and of firm and decided will. As a rule, he should allow younger persons to take this vow for a short time only at first,—say for six months,—and afterwards, when they have proved themselves steadfast, and he sees that it is beneficial to them, he can extend the period to one or two years, and only later permit them to bind themselves by vow to perpetual virginity; or he should permit the perpetual vow under a conditional resolution, such as: “nisi Confessarius pro tempore judicaverit expedire, ut votum desinat.”⁠[964]

The confessor should give special attention to those penitents who have really taken the vow of virginity, instructing them not only to be faithful to their vow, but to lead a perfect life according to their station and capacity.

IV. The state of matrimony.

Although the state of virginity possesses a very exalted dignity, the state of matrimony has divine sanction. The Church has always esteemed it highly, faithfully following in this respect the example of her divine Founder, and has always defended the dignity of Christian marriage wherever it was called for. God has ordained marriage for most men as their state of life; and, since upon the faithful performance of the duties of married people depend, not only their own temporal and eternal welfare, but also that of the family and of society, let the confessor, when occasion is offered: (1) direct his endeavors to prevent young people from entering into the state of matrimony too soon, without preparation, without knowledge of its duties, or capacity to perform them, and with an impure motive; (2) oppose most energetically those forbidden and pernicious intimacies which are the worst imaginable preparation for marriage, and generally the occasion of grave sins, and tolerate only the acknowledged and necessary intimacies a short time before the marriage, with due observance of the necessary measures of precaution; (3) instruct those penitents who have a vocation for marriage, and wish to enter that state, concerning its duties;⁠[965] (4) admonish them to inform their parents of their intention to marry, in order to obtain their advice and assistance. For, as on the one hand, parents would sin who deterred their children, sine justa causa, from contracting an honorable marriage, so, on the other hand, children would sin who wished, against the will of their parents, to contract a marriage calculated to bring shame and dishonor upon a family, without some valid ground which would constitute an excuse for so doing.⁠[966]

77. Betrothal and Marriage.

“Maxima prudentia ac zelo hic opus habet Confessarius,” justly remarks Scavini, and continues (quoting the “Méthode pour la direction des ames”), “Les personnes, qui vont se marier ont besoin de plusieurs avis pour ne rien omettre de leurs devoirs, ne rien faire contre la sainteté du mariage.” The confessor should particularly observe the following points: 1. Betrothed persons should not, as a rule, live in the same house.⁠[967] Let the confessor insist with unrelenting severity in this matter.⁠[968]

2. The time of betrothal should be one of preparation for contracting a marriage well pleasing to God; but it would be a very bad preparation on the part of the betrothed persons to burden their souls with grave sins against holy purity. Let the confessor, therefore, admonish them to preserve themselves free from all sins during this time, especially from those of impurity; and he has the more reason for giving this advice because very great dangers threaten their virtue on account of the intimacy of their relationship, the frequency of their intercourse, and their mutual inclination; moreover, this time of betrothal is, often enough, a career of continued sin, and an almost uninterrupted round of distractions, pleasures, and worldly cares. It often happens that young women, who before their betrothal led a zealous, religious, and pure life, become during this time lukewarm and indifferent in the exercises of piety, in the reception of the holy Sacraments, and even in attendance at Mass. With this comes carelessness in combating temptation; and moral perversion, alas! often of the worst kind is the result. Therefore let the confessor watch, warn, and admonish.

(a) He should explain to them that whatever is forbidden by God in the sixth and ninth commandments is no more allowed to them than to unmarried people in general; on the contrary, the prospect of a speedy union, their mutual love and weakness may lead them into greater temptations and dangers, and that they should, therefore, be more watchful and careful now, should pray more than before for the necessary grace and strength to remain pure, and to be able to approach the altar for the nuptial ceremony with hearts undefiled. He should also call their attention to the misfortunes in married life with which God, even here on earth, is wont to punish sins committed against the sanctity of the Sacrament by the betrothed.

(b) He should forbid them any too familiar intercourse with each other, especially solius cum sola, in retired places at night or in the evening. He must not allow them to meet without some attendance and supervision. How many have been exposed to the greatest dangers by merely going to the door in the evening, and tainted a virtue which had been preserved spotless for years. Frequent visiting of engaged persons without supervision of parents or relations is, in general, to be regarded and treated as an immediate occasion of sin, and that, not per accidens, but per se.⁠[969] St. Alphonsus inveighs severely against engaged persons and the parents who permit these visits and familiarities, and defends his severity by appealing to experience.⁠[970] Moralists teach (and experience confirms their teaching) that too much familiarity on the part of persons engaged constitutes the very greatest danger to chastity.⁠[971] Frassinetti’s words are to the point: “Let parents see that their sons do not meet with too great familiarity, and, above all, not alone and without witnesses, the young women whom they think of marrying. I say ‘with too great familiarity,’ for it would be useless to preach that betrothed persons should never visit one another. Such visits are partly necessary, in order that there may be mutual knowledge of one another, before they are joined by the indissoluble bond of matrimony. Moreover, they would, in any case, wish to visit one another, on account of their mutual attachment, which, in view of their future marriage, is not reprehensible.... But the priest must earnestly impress upon parents the necessity of exercising great watchfulness over these visits. Great watchfulness, in order that the young people may observe the strictest propriety in their intercourse with each other. The parents should, therefore, always have them under their observation. Such visiting should not be prolonged nor be too frequent. For, in these cases, it cannot be presumed that divine grace will assist the young people, as such conduct is neither necessary nor becoming; and, on this account, there will unfailingly be many dangers.”

(c) He should urge speedy marriages, as this will obviate many temptations and dangers of sin. Protracted engagements are seldom good; circumstances may supervene which make speedy marriage difficult or impossible; but if it can take place soon, the confessor must not easily consent to postponement from slight motives.⁠[972] The cause of the postponement should be inquired into, and all possible efforts be made to remove it. Every betrothed person can demand the fulfilment of the promise of marriage (even in foro externo) and the other party is, sub gravi, bound to accede to this demand if he has no valid reason for refusal or postponement. As postponement of marriage generally means great moral dangers for the betrothed, it can only be justified by weighty motives.⁠[973] If one of the parties intends to dissolve the engagement, the confessor should explain its binding nature. To break off an engagement out of levity, in momentary anger or on account of some sudden passion, is wrong, and dishonorable, even if the dissolution be valid.⁠[974] To make engagements lightly and as lightly to break them is contrary to the sanctity of matrimony.

(d) He should enjoin zealous prayer, frequent reception of the Sacraments,⁠[975] and especially a general confession (which will be useful for all and necessary for many)⁠[976] and good works, that they may receive the Sacrament of Matrimony worthily, thus laying a solid foundation for a happy life. But it is not well to defer the confession till the last hours or minutes before the wedding, and the confessor should energetically dissuade from this practice, which may cause him and those about to be married difficulties and embarrassment. In order to avoid this, and also to contribute to a better preparation, he should recommend confession (general confession) before or after the first publication of the banns, and then confession again immediately before the wedding.

For if the confession is not made till shortly before the wedding, the following difficulties may arise: 1. The penitent may not be disposed or cannot be rendered disposed. The confessor will certainly do everything which zeal for souls and the light of grace suggest, in order to dispose the penitent for the worthy reception of absolution. But if the disposition remains doubtful, despite all his endeavors, he may absolve the penitent sub conditione, as the reception of the Sacrament of Matrimony is a sufficient reason for administering conditional absolution.⁠[977] If his efforts to dispose the penitent remain fruitless,—the bridegroom, perhaps, being bad and wishing only to make a show of receiving the holy Sacraments, influenced by his better disposed bride, or by relations; or because he will not satisfy some necessary condition, such as avoiding some immediate occasion, making restitution, giving up an enmity,—the confessor must refuse absolution. Of course, such a person may not receive holy communion, and the confessor must tell him so. As to the reception of the Sacrament of Matrimony, there are two possible cases to consider: either he does not know that a state of grace is necessary for the lawful reception of this Sacrament, or he does know it. If he does not know it, and if the confessor is obliged to presume (knowing the penitent’s frame of mind) that he would not respect his admonition concerning the unlawful reception of the Sacrament of Matrimony in a state of mortal sin, he must leave him in his state of ignorance and bona fides, in order that he may not formally sin. If the penitent does know that it is not allowed to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony in mortal sin, the confessor should lay before him in forcible terms the enormity of the sacrilege of which he will be guilty, in order, if possible, to bring him to a better disposition. And if this is of no avail, he should admonish him with suitable prudence, to make an act of perfect contrition before the marriage, and to come to confession as soon as possible after it.⁠[978]

2. Another difficulty arises when the penitent confesses a reserved sin from which the confessor cannot absolve. As here gravis causa confitendi urget, we are face to face with a case which was discussed earlier in this work and solved by St. Alphonsus, namely, that any priest can indirectly absolve from sins reserved to the bishop, and also from those reserved to the Pope, si episcopus non possit adiri; even when the sin is reserved cum excommunicatione.⁠[979]

3. Finally, another difficulty may arise: the confessor may discover in the confessional an impedimentum matrim. occultum ex causa infamante exortum; the marriage for which all the preparations have been made cannot be postponed without disgrace and great detriment to the parties, and dispensation from the impediment cannot be obtained. Here the following circumstances have to be taken into consideration: (a) If both parties know the impediment, and have concealed it from a bad motive, they must, if possible, postpone their marriage till the dispensation has been obtained. If they are not willing to do this, the confessor must refuse them absolution. But if they are not able to postpone the marriage on account of the great disgrace or scandal which would result, and if they are otherwise in good dispositions, he can give them absolution; but he must instruct them that they have to be married before the priest, on the supposition that the Pope will dispense, then to live merely as brother and sister till the dispensation has been obtained;⁠[980] after that they must repeat before him their consent to marry. He must tell them how this has to be done, make it as easy for them as possible, so as not to deter them. (b) If both parties are ignorant of the impediment, and are quite bona fide and if the confessor cannot assume that they will live continently till the dispensation is procured, he should leave them in their ignorance, bona fide, and request a dispensation pro foro interno, then proceeding according to the rules for rendering valid an invalid marriage in foro interno; for it is better to let them commit material sins, than to furnish them with occasion for formal sins. (c) If only one of the two parties is aware of the obstacle, and, on account of the disgrace attaching to it, cannot reveal it to the other, a “communissima et probabilissima sententia” of the theologians teaches that the bishop can grant a dispensation in this case,⁠[981] and recourse must, therefore, be had to him. If the latter is not possible, the confessor (or parish priest) can, according to what St. Alphonsus calls the “not unfounded” teaching of many theologians, declare “ex Epikeia” that the lex impedimenti does not bind in this case, because it would be injurious. But the confessor must pro securitate et ad salvandam reverentiam legibus Ecclesiæ debitam, quantocius apply to the Roman Penitentiary, or to the Ordinary who possesses the quinquennial faculties, in order to obtain a dispensation. But it is to be carefully observed that only a secret impediment, arising from a sin, is here in question; for in the case of a public impediment arising from no dishonorable cause, there is neither scandal nor disgrace, but only the inconvenience of postponing the marriage.⁠[982] It depends entirely upon circumstances, since it is the duty of the pastor to instruct those about to marry, whether the confessor should give special suggestions and admonition in this last confession on the usus matrimonii,⁠[983] explaining what is allowed to married people, and what is forbidden.⁠[984] He may speak to them of the intention which, as Christians, they should have in this state; of matrimonial harmony and mutual love and fidelity. If the confessor deems it necessary, or advisable and beneficial, he will not fail in his zeal for souls to instruct his penitents concerning this matter, and to admonish them to lead a truly Christian family life, where sin and vice are carefully avoided, whilst God is being faithfully served. If matrimony is based upon this foundation, the husband and wife may confidently expect God’s abundant graces: if they depart from these principles, they will deprive themselves of this blessing.⁠[985]

78. The Confessor’s Attitude toward Mixed Marriages.

The confessor will often have occasion to speak to penitents concerning mixed marriages, because they either wish to contract such a marriage, or have already done so. The following principles will serve him in this equally important and difficult matter.

I. Even if the essence of marriage is not destroyed by the obstacle of mixed religion, as in disparitas cultus, it falls short of the ideal. For marriage should not only represent the unity of the Church; it should, as much as is possible, produce this unity; now the Church is, in a special manner, one through its faith. Conscious of this, and in view of the many great disadvantages which accrue from mixed marriages, the Church has always energetically protested against them. She has always taught that such a marriage is a reprehensible communicatio in sacris, that there is danger to the Catholic party of falling away from religion or of becoming indifferent to it, and that a proper education in the Catholic faith of children born from such marriage, if not exactly impossible, is certainly rendered very difficult, as the necessary coöperation is wanting, and opposition easily made by word and example.⁠[986] In 1858 the Apostolic See anew admonished the bishops to deter the faithful from such mixed marriages.

Only by three conditions will the dangers of mixed marriages be, if not removed, at least reduced; and only under these three conditions does the Church, præsertim ob privatas causas, permit mixed marriages. These conditions are: (1) Both parties, especially the non-Catholic, must promise, ordinarily in writing and before witnesses, to bring up all their children in the Catholic religion (without distinction of sex). (2) The non-Catholic party must promise solemnly not to hinder in any way the Catholic party in the practice of his (or her) religion. (3) The Catholic must use every lawful means to effect the conversion of the heretical partner.⁠[987]

From these three conditions the Church cannot recede,⁠[988] for, as not only the ecclesiastical, but also the natural and the divine law, absolutely forbid that anybody expose himself or his offspring to the danger of perversion, it naturally results that these sureties should be prescribed and demanded, in order that together with the canonical precepts, the natural and divine law may not be criminally transgressed.⁠[989] When these conditions are satisfied, and officially guaranteed⁠[990] by a contract, dispensation from the impedimentum mixtæ religionis may then be requested from the bishop, and given by him in virtue of the usual faculties conferred upon him.

II. By these regulations of the Church, his modus procedendi in the matter of a mixed marriage is mapped out for the priest or the confessor.

1. If the confessor receives information of an intended mixed marriage, he should emphatically dissuade from it, but with pastoral prudence, and without offensive words.

2. If his endeavors are of no avail, and if he cannot prevent the marriage, he must persuade the penitent to fulfill the stipulated conditions.

3. If the penitent agrees to this, the confessor will do well not to administer absolution at once unless there is some special reason for so doing (for example, the fulfilment of a commandment of the Church, necessity of communicating, to prevent gossip, etc.), but let him urge that the consent of the non-Catholic party to the three conditions should first be obtained.

4. When this consent is obtained, there is no obstacle to the absolution of the penitent.

5. But if the penitent will not consent to the fulfilment of the three conditions, but still intends to contract the mixed marriage, he purposes to commit a grave sin, and cannot be absolved. For he who, without obtaining a dispensation from the impedimentum mixtæ religionis, contracts a mixed marriage before a non-Catholic minister, is guilty of three grave sins: he disobeys the Church; he endangers the salvation of the children which God may give him; he is hæreseos fautor, guilty of a communicatio in sacris, and incurs ecclesiastical censure.⁠[991]

III. Concerning the reconciliation of those persons who, in disobedience to their Church, have contracted a mixed marriage before a non-Catholic minister, the confessor must be guided by the following principles:—

1. It is certain that a Catholic having contracted marriage before a Protestant clergyman cannot be absolved as long as he remains unwilling to make good the above-mentioned conditions. Even if the refusal of absolution does not produce its immediate effect (the fire of passion obscuring the light of conscience), it, nevertheless, instills salutary fear. But it would be very wrong on the part of the confessor to wound such a penitent by harshness and reproaches. The confessor (parish priest) must take all pains to bring such penitents to a consciousness of their error.⁠[992]

2. But if the penitent truly repents of his error, and if he is ready to make good the scandal given, and to take immediate steps towards bringing up his children as Catholics, he is worthy of absolution and it may not be refused to him.

3. It is, above all, necessary to find out if the marriage was valid according to the Decree Tametsi. If the marriage has been invalidly contracted, a dispensation from the impedimentum mixtæ religionis and from the banns is to be sought; and when this is obtained, according to the regulations of the Church, the consent is to be renewed. If this renewal of consent cannot be effected, sanatio in radice must be requested.⁠[993] If the marriage is valid, dispensation is not necessary.

4. Moreover, the facultas absolvendi a censuris propter hæresim must be obtained. For the censure reserved speciali modo to the Pope is, according to an explicit decision of Rome, incurred in all cases by those qui matrimonium coram ministro hæretico ineunt; even when the existence of censure was not known to the parties, because it is a question of the forum externum, and the contract of marriage is, of its nature, an external act. By virtue, however, of the quinquennial faculties, the bishop can absolve from this censure, or confer this power subdelegando upon others. The confessor must, therefore, refer the penitent to the parish priest, in order that the latter may procure from the bishop the facultas absolvendi a censuris pro foro externo. Not till then can the confessor give sacramental absolution.

Only when, from special reasons, determined by the circumstances, an absolutio in foro externo would not be advisable, may the confessor apply for the facultas absolvendi a censuris pro foro interno, and administer this absolution after he has obtained the faculty. We add that absolution from the censure in foro externo can take place without witnesses, and that it is not necessary to make use of definite words at the absolution in utroque foro, but it is always necessary to declare that the absolution is administered by virtue of special powers from the Holy See, subdelegated by the bishop.

Married people who were allowed to receive the Sacraments before the promulgation of the answer of the Holy Office, 18 May, 1892, requiring the absolutio a censuris pro foro externo, are not to be disturbed.

5. The confessor should also help a penitent of this kind to keep his resolution of bringing up his children as Catholics, by showing him what steps he must take. He should encourage him to overcome possible difficulties which may occur. This will be easier for the Catholic father than the mother. If the children have reached an age when they are removed from parental authority, the Catholic party must at least promise to exert its influence by prayer, exhortation and good example, to gain the children for the Catholic Church.⁠[994]

Of course the confessor must demand that the penitent should inform his parish priest of his resolution to bring up the children in the Catholic faith. Only very weighty grounds should induce the confessor to refrain from exacting this, and then he would be obliged to apply to his Ordinary for advice.

6. It may also be the case that a woman repents of the step which she took, but which she cannot now retrace, not being able, in spite of her good will, to induce her husband to consent to the Catholic education of the children. It would be hard, in such a case, to leave her unassisted. The repentance which she has evidenced, the willingness which she has shown (and which will continue) to repair as far as possible the harm done; the efforts which she may have already made; the promise to influence husband and children by the means at her disposal—prayer, a good life, words of advice—suffice for her to be admitted to the Sacraments. This satisfies the demands which the Holy Office in Rome makes in such cases.⁠[995]

7. If the confessor believes that there is reason for doubting the sincere and earnest will of penitents who are joined by an illicit mixed marriage, he is free to make inquiry, and, according to the nature of the case, to postpone absolution for a time. It is always well not to admit such penitents to the holy Sacraments shortly after contracting the illicit marriage, unless they have guaranteed the Catholic education of their children in a manner which satisfies the ecclesiastical regulations; unless, moreover, they show sorrow for their lapse from duty, and by faithful performance of their religious obligations, effectually prove that they wish to be obedient to the Catholic Church in future. Persons who are dangerously ill, emigrants, etc., of course, constitute exceptions to this rule.

8. An illicit marriage contracted by a Catholic before a non-Catholic minister is a public act and causes public scandal; the satisfaction must, therefore, as a rule, be made publicly. The confessor must not overlook this, lest he make himself an accomplice in the scandal, and lest this dreadful evil of our days (for such mixed marriages are in reality, especially when contracted without dispense) be rendered more numerous, by want of due severity in the conditions of reconciliation. As public acts of reparation may be regarded: an oral or written declaration of sorrow before the parish priest; the promise of bringing up their children as Catholics made to the pastor. The confessor should follow the directions which may have been given by his bishop in this matter, and if there are none, he must proceed with pastoral prudence and charity. It may happen that, in the place where the Sacraments are to be received, the scandal given is not known, the parties having changed their place of residence. In this case the reconciliation may take place in all privacy. The confessor should not forget in such cases that the salvation of souls is the highest law.

79. How to deal with Penitents joined in “Civil” Marriage only.

The confessor’s treatment of penitents living in “civil” matrimony must be essentially different from the above.

Here the chief question is whether there is a real consensus maritalis; that is, whether the persons in question had the consciousness and intention of entering upon a true matrimonial relationship by the declaration which they made before the public official, or if they believed they were concluding an external agreement only and one not permanently binding upon the conscience. In the second place, the confessor must investigate if there are any—and what—impediments to marriage. If there are no diriment impediments, and if there was a true consensus maritalis in those places where the Tridentine Decree “Tametsi” is not in force (therefore, where the impedimentum clandestinitatis does not apply), such informal contract of marriage must be regarded as valid. On the other hand, these informal marriages are ecclesiastically invalid in all places where the Tridentine Decree is in force, on account of the “impedimentum clandestinitatis.” The confessor must, however, in every individual case have recourse to the Ordinary.

Apart from this question of validity, all persons living in mere “civil” matrimony must be exhorted (if no obstacle from which there is no dispensation be in the way) to be married in forma Tridentina, and to receive the blessing of the Church. If difficulties arise in connection with this, the confessor should apply to the bishop, in order to obtain sanatio in radice, according to the circumstances.

A penitent living in “civil” marriage is not to be absolved till he has promised to be married in the Church and has actually made preparation for this marriage. Under particular circumstances—if the persons live apart—absolution can be given, even if the ceremony is postponed. Admission to holy communion must be deferred till immediately before the marriage.

80. The Confessor’s Conduct towards Women.

Occasion has already several times⁠[996] presented itself for remarks concerning the confessor’s conduct when hearing the confessions of women. The importance of the subject demands for it special treatment. Amongst penitents women probably form nearly always the majority. However regrettable it may be that men so seldom, and often reluctantly, approach the tribunal of confession, it is a source of joy that women should be zealous in the reception of the holy Sacraments, for this justifies the hope that their influence upon their husbands and upon those around them will be the more salutary. The influence which a truly Christian woman exercises upon her husband, a mother upon her children, the mistress of a house upon her subordinates, is very great. Truly Christian, pious, and chaste young women are a real blessing in a family and a household. Moreover, woman is generally more inclined to the exercise of Christian piety, and can thus, if properly treated and guided, attain to great perfection.

Nevertheless, it is not to be overlooked that, owing to certain weaknesses and faults which are peculiar to their sex, the hopes of the confessor are not infrequently disappointed and his endeavors rendered fruitless. “Their piety may easily become a matter of feeling, without solidity and worth; they are much inclined to form an inordinate attachment for the confessor, which is perhaps not free from a sensual element. The practice of piety also easily serves as a means of gratifying vanity. Many are disposed to dissimulation and hypocrisy.”⁠[997]

Hearing the confessions of women is thus indisputably one of the greatest and most imminent dangers for the confessor. He must, therefore, be very circumspect and prudent, reasonably fear this danger, for in this fear lies his safety; “he who fears this rock runs no danger of suffering shipwreck.”⁠[998] These shortcomings ought not to mislead us into condemning the whole sex, as is sometimes wrongly done. This is unjust. We must help them to overcome their faults, and if no improvement results from our endeavors, suitable severity is to be employed.

Bearing in mind the exhortation (Eccl. lxi. 15): “Curam habe de bono nomine,” the circumspect and prudent confessor will have regard for his good name, and seek to preserve and guard it; not only remaining pure of heart, but preserving himself free from every suspicion of impurity, herein faithfully following the example of Our Lord, who patiently bore many an accusation leveled against Him, but never tolerated any on the subject of purity. For nothing detracts so much from a priest’s authority and efficiency as the suspicion that he is not absolutely clean of heart. Let the confessor, therefore, place a guard upon his eyes, let him never look at those who stand before his confessional, and never glance at the face of the person whose confession he hears; he should not try to find out who his female penitents are; it is sufficient for him to know the state of their souls. He should carefully avoid, as far as it is possible, all intercourse with them outside the confessional, not visiting them in their houses, except at times of severe illness; he should refuse munuscula under whatever name they may be offered to him; he should confide no secrets to them, and avoid familiarity.⁠[999] His words should be reserved, serious, respectful, even if the penitent’s station and circumstances do not actually command respect. When the priest hears the confessions of young women, and such as are distinguished by station, beauty, education, etc., he must still more carefully avoid familiarity. Concerning delicate matters the confessor should put only few questions, and then only with the greatest prudence, and content himself with knowing the nature of the sin, or its kind; he should carefully guard against inquiring after superfluous details.⁠[1000]

The confessor must not lose sight of the dictates of prudence which have been discussed, when he hears the confessions of “personæ spirituales.” Here, as St. Alphonsus warns us,⁠[1001] prudence is most necessary, on account of the periculum majoris adhæsionis. His teaching on this point is as follows: “Dicebat Ven. P. Sertorius Capotus, diabolum ad conjungendas inter se personas spirituales, ab initio uti prætextu virtutis, ut deinde affectus a virtute transeat ad personam,” and justifies this statement by a word of St. Augustine, which St. Thomas quotes (Opusc. 64 de Famil. Dom. etc.): “Speech with these persons must be short and reserved; it is not because they are more holy that one must be more on his guard, but because the holier they are, the more attractive they become.” And St. Thomas adds to these significant words of the holy Bishop of Hippo: “Licet carnalis affectio sit omnibus periculosa ipsis tamen magis perniciosa, quando conversantur cum persona, quæ spiritualis videtur; nam quamvis principium videatur purum, tamen frequens familiaritas domesticum est periculum; quæ quidem familiaritas quanto plus crescit, infirmatur principale motivum et puritas maculatur.” He also adds that such persons do not observe this at once, quoniam diabolus ab initio non emittit sagittas venenatas, sed illas tantummodo, quæ aliquantulum feriunt et augent affectum. Sed brevi hujusmodi personæ eo deveniunt, ut non amplius agant secum tanquam angeli, quemadmodum cœperant, sed tanquam carne vestiti; vicissim se intuentur mentesque sibi feriunt blandis allocutionibus, quæ adhuc a prima devotione videntur procedere: hinc alter alterius præsentiam incipit appetere; sicque spiritualis devotio convertitur in carnalem. Et quidem oh quot sacerdotes, qui antea erant innocentes ob similes adhæsiones, quæ spiritu cœperant, Deum simul et spiritum perdiderunt.⁠[1002]

In order to act with the necessary prudence, the confessor will (1) hear the confessions of women, as far as possible, only in the Church, or in some place which is always accessible for hearing confessions; (2) he will dispatch matters, especially with those who often confess; will not tolerate talk about subjects which do not belong to the confession, and will carefully avoid long exhortations and unnecessary questions.

The confessor must observe all this, and take all precautionary measures,—if he is young, because it is then particularly necessary, but also in more advanced years, and even in old age, in order to give others good example, and also because experience shows that even for those who are mature and old, the danger exists, though it be lessened. “If the confessor follows these precepts, he realizes in himself a miracle, which is one of the most beautiful proofs of the truth of the Catholic religion; the miracle, namely, that priests who preserve their hearts in the holy fear of God, hear the confessions of women for years without ever having to accuse themselves that their holy office has been for them an occasion of sin, even of one single sin.”⁠[1003]

If the penitents are married women, let the confessor encourage and instruct them in the complete fulfilment of their duties towards their husbands, above all, their duty of matrimonial love, giving a good example, bearing faults with patience, and not ceasing, though their husbands have gone astray, to use every endeavor to reform them, especially by praying for them with indefatigable zeal. How many wives have saved their husbands by their patience, their loving, prudent exhortations, and their prayers.

If circumstances appear to call for it, let him admonish them to preserve matrimonial chastity, and warn against transgressions, pointing out that complete preservation of this matrimonial chastity is the very condition and foundation of lasting matrimonial happiness, and of eternal salvation.

He should not permit pious women to devote themselves to the exercises of piety, especially hearing Mass and frequent reception of the holy Sacraments, to such an extent that important household duties are thereby neglected, or members of the family aggrieved and irritated.

Finally, he must not be overready to believe complaints of wives about their husbands; but if he finds that the complaints are justified, he will tell the woman how to act and gravely comfort her. If she complains of the severity and bad temper of her husband, he must advise her to remain patient and obedient to him, to perform punctually every service which he desires, to show her love for him by the greatest willingness and kindness; to be silent when her husband is angry or intoxicated; not to drive him to still greater violence even when she suffers injustice; and admonish him affectionately when he has become calm, and sober, and good-humored, but not till then. She should answer her angry husband with meekness when she is obliged to answer him, for a gentle answer turns aside wrath, whereas a harsh one only embitters.

The mother will claim the confessor’s special zeal; he should expose to her the importance and responsibility of her duties, the obligation of admonishing and instructing her children in prayer, in attendance at Mass, reception of the holy Sacraments, and of correcting their faults; of warning and protecting her children against the dangers which threaten youth, of daily praying for them, of preventing dangerous intercourse with other persons, of not allowing children of different sex to sleep together, etc.

As so much depends upon the loyalty of teachers, male and female, to their duties the confessor will not fail to admonish them at all times to discharge faithfully these important and exalted duties, reminding them of their grave responsibility. Teachers should zealously instruct children in the truths of religion, always assisting the endeavors of the priest according to their capacity, and working with him; see that the education of the children is conducted upon Christian principles; give the children and the parish good example by conscientious discharge of their religious duties—attendance at Mass, reception of the holy Sacraments, and by their conduct in general. They must be encouraged to bear patiently the manifold, and by no means slight, hardships of their position. The confessor will also show constant interest in their work in the school.

The mistress of a house must be reminded by the confessor of the duties of Christian employers—the duty especially of having a watchful eye on the servants, not allowing them to go out late in the evening; of preventing male and female servants being together at unseasonable times; of treating servants in a Christian manner, and of giving them sufficient time to fulfill their religious obligations.

81. The Confessions of Men.

It is a deplorable fact that men approach the confessional more seldom than women, and especially since their position in life is more influential, and consequently a high degree of piety is particularly desirable in them, in order that this influence may be a salutary one. At the same time, they are exposed to greater dangers and temptations.⁠[1004]

1. Men must, therefore, be more welcome to the confessor as penitents than women. St. Alphonsus bewails the fact that so many confessors spend a good part of the day in hearing the confessions of certain pious persons (quas vulgo dicunt Bizocas), and that when men or married women, who are weighed down with misery and distress, and who at a great sacrifice leave their homes and business, approach the confessional, the priest dismisses them, saying: “Go to some other confessor, I have too much to do”; and thus it comes to pass that such people live months and years without the Sacraments. This is not hearing confessions to please God, but rather to serve self-love. I know, and, in opposition to others who maintain that the time is wasted which is devoted to the confessions of these pious persons, I firmly hold that leading souls to perfection is a work very pleasing to God; but I assert also that good confessors who hear confessions only to please God (like St. Philip Neri, St. John of the Cross, and St. Peter of Alcantara) do not hesitate to prefer to these pious souls one whom they perceive to be in need of their help.⁠[1005] What St. Alphonsus says in another place is also undoubtedly true, namely, that a perfect soul is more pleasing to God than a thousand imperfect ones; but for them there are other times and other occasions, and even leading souls to perfection does not demand such expenditure of time and care that others should be neglected. Moreover, such a manner of administering the Sacrament of Penance may easily give occasion to malevolent misconstructions and rumors, and thus scandalize the men who see themselves neglected.⁠[1006] Hence men who come to confession must not be kept waiting long. The confessor should show himself ready to answer any call, even when the hour is unseasonable and troublesome to him. If there are both men and women who wish to confess, Frassinetti⁠[1007] recommends hearing the men first; they generally have more important business than women, and are also as a rule more impatient. Women have more leisure and greater patience.

2. The confessor must always treat men courteously, “indeed with a certain affability, as if he considered himself particularly fortunate, and took a special pleasure in hearing their confessions.” Even if they belong to the lowest classes and are coarse and repulsive, he should always address them with politeness and kindness. “One can never show them too much love and friendliness, for it makes the best impression upon their minds, encourages them to make a good confession, and in course of time incites them to a more frequent reception of the Sacraments.”⁠[1008]

3. The confessor must not speak of perfection to those who have no understanding for it. He must generally be content with instilling into their hearts hatred and detestation of mortal sin. “This is necessary, lest they regard him as what they call a ‘saint,’ and be afraid to come to him again.” But the confessor must not go too far in his indulgence, nor permit to the men who are his penitents, anything which might become a great danger for their souls; he must here be particularly careful concerning circumstances in their lives which are to them occasiones proximæ.

4. The confessor must urge them to fulfill their duties as Christian men faithfully, punctually, and fervently.

5. He should especially warn them against negligence in prayer, admonish them to observe Sundays and holy days conscientiously, and particularly to be present at sermons, as those who seldom or never hear a sermon will hardly persevere in a truly Christian life.

6. Then if it be opportune, he should enjoin moderation in drinking, in case they have been guilty of drunkenness.

7. If he has reason to doubt the firmness and integrity of their faith, in which they may be remiss, he must probe into the matter; perhaps he will have to censure the reading of bad newspapers, or the frequenting of doubtful society.