TWELVE ARTICLES[1]

I LEST it may more quarrels breed, I will never hear you read.

II By disputing, I will never, To convince you once endeavour.

III When a paradox you stick to, I will never contradict you.

IV When I talk and you are heedless, I will show no anger needless. V When your speeches are absurd, I will ne'er object a word.

VI When you furious argue wrong, I will grieve and hold my tongue.

VII Not a jest or humorous story Will I ever tell before ye: To be chidden for explaining, When you quite mistake the meaning.

VIII Never more will I suppose, You can taste my verse or prose.

IX You no more at me shall fret, While I teach and you forget. X You shall never hear me thunder, When you blunder on, and blunder.

XI Show your poverty of spirit, And in dress place all your merit; Give yourself ten thousand airs: That with me shall break no squares.[2]

XII Never will I give advice, Till you please to ask me thrice: Which if you in scorn reject, 'Twill be just as I expect. Thus we both shall have our ends, And continue special friends.

[Footnote 1: Addressed to Lady Acheson.—W. E. B.] [Footnote 2: That is, will do no harm—we shall not disagree. "At Blank-Blank Square;—for we will break no squares By naming streets." Don Juan, Canto XIII, st. xxv. See Mr. Coleridge's note on this; Byron's Works, edit. 1903.—W. E. B.]