Act 2 — SCENE VIII.

Enter three gentlemen.

Dor. Gentlemen you are welcome to Pasty-Hall; see that these gentlemens horses are taken care of.

1 Gen. A very fine dwelling this.

Dor. Yes, the house is tolerable.

2 Gen. And a very fine lordship belongs to it.

Dor. The land is good.

3 Gen. This house ought to have been mine, for my grandfather sold it to his father, from whom your father purchased it.

Dor. Yes, the house has gone thro' a great many hands.

1 Gen. A sign there has always been good house-keeping in it.

Dor. And I hope there ever will.

Enter Mr. Barnard, and Griffard, drest like drawers.

Mr. Barn. Gentlemen, do you call? will you please to see a room, gentlemen? somebody take off the gentlemens boots there?

Dor. Father! uncle! what is the meaning of this?

Mr. Barn. Here, shew a room——or will you please to walk into the kitchen first, gentlemen, and see what you like for dinner.

1 Gen. Make no preparations, Sir, your own dinner is sufficient.

Mr. Barn. Very well, I understand ye; let's see, how many are there of ye? [Tells 'em.] One, two, three, four: well, gentlemen, 'tis but half a crown a-piece for yourselves, and sixpence a-head for your servants; your dinner shall be ready in half an hour; here, shew the gentlemen into the Apollo.

2 Gen. What, Sir, does your father keep an inn?

Mr. Barn. The Sword Royal; at your service, Sir.

Dor. But father let me speak to you; would you disgrace me?

Mr. Barn. My wine is very good, gentlemen, but to be very plain with ye, it is dear.

Dor. O, I shall run distracted.

Mr. Barn. You seem not to like my house, gentlemen; you may try all the inns in the county, and not be better entertained; but I own my bills run high.

Dor. Gentlemen, let me beg the favour of ye.

1 Gen. Ay, my young 'Squire of the Sword Royal', you shall receive some favours from us.

Dor. Dear Monsieur le Guarantiere.

1 Gen. Here, my horse there.

Dor. Monsieur la Rose.

2 Gen. Damn ye, ye prig.

Dor. Monsieur Trofignac.

3 Gen. Go to the devil.

[Exeunt Gentlemen.

Dor. O, I'm disgrac'd for ever.

Mr. Barn. Now, son, this will teach you how to live.

Dor. Your son? I deny the kindred; I'm the son of a whore, and I'll burn your house about your ears, you old rogue you.

[Exit.

Mr. Barn. Ha, ha——

Griff. The young gentleman's in a passion.

Mr. Barn. They're all gone for all that, and the Sword Royal's the best general in Christendom.

Enter Erastus's servant, talking with Lisetta.

Lis. What, that tall gentleman I saw in the garden with ye?

Serv. The same, he's my master's uncle, and ranger of the king's forests——He intends to leave my master all he has.

Mr. Barn. Don't I know this scoundrel? What, is his master here? What do you do here, rascal?

Serv. I was asking which must be my master's chamber.

Mr. Barn. Where is your master?

Serv. Above stairs with your wife and daughter; and I want to know where he's to lie that I may put up his things.

Mr. Barn. Do you so, rascal?

Serv. A very handsome inn this—Here, drawer, fetch me a pint of wine.

Mr. Barn. Take that, rascal, do you banter us?

[Kicks him out.

Enter Mrs. Barnard.

Mrs. Barn. What is the meaning of this, husband? Are not you asham'd to turn your house into an inn——and is this a dress for my spouse, and a man of your character?

Mr. Barn. I'd rather wear this dress than be ruin'd.

Mrs. Barn. You're nearer being so than you imagine: for there are some persons within, who have it in their power to punish you for your ridiculous folly.

Enter Erastus, leading in Mariamne.

Mr. Barn. How, Sir, what means this? who sent you here?

Er. It was the luckiest star in your firmament that sent me here.

Mr. Barn. Then I doubt, at my birth, the planets were but in a scurvy disposition.

Er. Killing one of the king's stags, that run hither for refuge, is enough to overturn a fortune much better established than yours——However, Sir, if you will consent to give me your daughter, for her sake I will bear you harmless.

Mr. Barn. No, Sir, no man shall have my daughter, that won't take my house too.

Er. Sir, I will take your house; pay you the full value of it, and you shall remain as much master of it as ever.

Mr. Barn. No, Sir, that won't do neither; you must be master yourself, and from this minute begin to do the honours of it in your own person.

Er. Sir, I readily consent.

Mr. Barn. Upon that condition, and in order to get rid of my house, here, take my daughter——And now, Sir, if you think you've a hard bargain, I don't care if I toss you in my wife to make you amends.